Giving Up the Roles We Play and the Labels We Assign
“Authentic human interactions become impossible when you lose yourself in a role.” ― Eckhart Tolle
“Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that other people have of you is inauthentic living.” ― Eckhart Tolle
Life is not a performance. We don’t have to play the roles we have been assigned or even the ones we have chosen. We are much much more than the roles we play and labels we assign. We can be great at all the things we have chosen to do while we are here, but we do not have to let the roles take us over completely. In fact, we can do everything much better if we are not attached to the role surrounding it. We are not meant to be actors inhabiting a role and fulfilling a function in our latest production. We are meant to experience Life in a much deeper, more meaningful and miraculous way. Inauthentic living dulls the senses and makes us lose connection to All that is around us as we go through the motions of doing the things we “should” and expecting everyone around us to do the things they “should” too. Life can get muddled up with roleplaying and expectations if we allow it. There is another, more joyful way to approach all that we do as we remember all that we are and all that everything around us is too.
Truly Being with each other without playing a role is the best feeling in the world. It is our true state of being that we all have within reach, no matter what our circumstances look like. It is where laughter and music come from. If we are with others primarily as a function or role, we can completely miss the abundant miracles that surround us. Often in my life as a mother and homeschool teacher I can find myself entrenched in the responsibilities of the role I am supposed to be performing. It comes from my good intentions of wanting to do a really good job and prepare my kids for life in the best possible way. However, that intense intention can get in the way of authentically experiencing the moments as they come and turn the whole process into a job instead. When this happens, it’s a life full of parenting and instructing without allowing in the joy we always have waiting for us. I am not just a parent and my children are not just my kids. To enter the joy and help my little ones dwell there as well, I must let go of the role and let Life come to me and them in the way it is trying to. Then I can truly see the Life I have before me and within me. There is always a glimpse or glimmer of authentic light shining through in my interactions with my sweet little ones. When I stop playing the role, I can feel the laughter, hear the sweet voices more clearly and allow a space for authentic interaction to occur. I can be the best mother I can be by letting go of the role and expectations of it. I can stop performing to the crowd or worrying about it looking like it should and pleasing all the right people. I have felt the difference between mothering my children and living in the moment with them. Life, love and joy are found only in the present moment, not the roles, labels and expectations that our minds like to attach and assign.
Role playing is all around us, it is everywhere and most people inhabit several roles throughout each day. In my prior work life there were plenty of roles and labels to learn from. I can kind of laugh at all of it (myself included) now. Oh, how important all the labels seemed. Who was who, etc. With all the titles and pecking order entrenched in the workplace, it is easy to see how people get in the habit of showing up as their role rather than their authentic selves. There is a lot of fear out there and the fear of not having an important role or label seems terrifying to people, that is why they must hide behind their roles and label others so fiercely. In our society there is so much pressure to act as we are expected and do what everyone else is doing. So called success makes all of the roleplaying seem attractive. No matter what our life situation looks like, we can easily fall into the habit of playing various roles to please a variety of audiences. This type of living doesn’t leave a lot of space for Being. This may be a blessing, as it may push us to seek our authentic selves sooner. We may sense that something is missing and hidden underneath all the masks. Everything happens as it should and we can all grow from our exact situation. We can bless each other with experiences as we do. Sometimes the greatest blessings are tough to bear. We can only call them blessings in hindsight. They are still blessings.
We can shift from playing roles and assigning labels and help others do the same simply by Being with each other more. If we show up playing a role or with a label attached to us in any way, we instantly put a label or role on the person we are interacting with. It just happens. We are entrenched in our role and we search for the part they play in our story. We enter the interaction with all kinds of preconceived ideas and notions and completely miss the chance to truly experience the Being in front of us, the Being within us and the true moment the Universe created entirely. If we can learn to show up as the Being that we are and create a space that allows others to feel safe showing their true selves in, we can create more authenticity everywhere we go. We can relate to others from the truest part of ourselves and watch the same essence take shape in them. We can change the landscape around us simply by setting our intention towards Being rather than roleplaying and labeling. Soon, we will live in a world without all the roles and labels because we won’t even see them or participate in them anymore. It can be done. We can create a more authentic world to live in now. One moment at a time.
Wishing us all the courage to Be more than our form or function. Wishing us ample time found in Being that nurtures our souls, spreads love everywhere we go and creates a new earth one interaction at a time. We are meant to interact with each other from our Being, not our tiny form. We can bring the Being found in silence to our relationships and everything we encounter. Peace is meant to be shared and spread. We can do it!
Sending you so much Love!