Words have always meant a lot to me. They are much more than just communication tools; when treated with honor and respect, they become much more. The words we string together to express ourselves and the ones we choose to give our attention to as we gather information make up the fabric of who we are. Words are our bridge to the soul. They come from somewhere else, they come through us and they can reach out to another and bring them to us. They can be used well and allow us to be more of ourselves and they can be mistreated and keep us stuck in destructive patterns that take us off our true path. Words are the dots and our job in life is to get better and better at connecting the dots.
Words are always working with us; our relationship with them is how we grow and change. I have seen my relationship with words evolve drastically over time and I can feel the pull to a deeper connection with them now. Ever a crafty communicator, I remember in my younger years using my words carelessly at times. I was a bit of a people pleaser and could easily tell people what they wanted to hear or say things that might make people more comfortable, etc. During adolescence, honesty wasn’t really at the tip-top of my list either, words were more of a navigation tool to try to get what I wanted or seem like something I was trying to be. All these things were part of a natural progression through awkward years I suppose. I am so grateful to have passed through that time and to have it to look back on now to know the difference. I now know that compromising my own truth and absolute honesty is like cutting myself off from life and love and completely unnecessary in any and every situation. I can still make others feel comfortable, but compromising my words or using them carelessly is never ever part of that anymore.
Words have been everything to me on my path. I have watched them connect to each other to lead me to the next book, the next conversation, the next experience, the next challenge, life lesson, goal, etc… They have guided me, comforted me, confronted me, pushed me, loved me and helped me put pieces of my soul together as I journey toward aligning my personality with my soul to live in authenticity. They whisper and shout, they figure out how we hear them best and they never stop trying to get our attention, wake us up, lead us where we are meant to go to show up as exactly who we are and with what we are meant to bring to this world. Words are everywhere and they reach us through the perfect means for us…Life sends us a book, someone says something to us, a poem touches us, a loved one shares with us, we see a sign, watch a movie, receive a letter, hear them in silence, hear ourselves say them aloud, we spontaneously feel something deeply and try to put it into words…they are everywhere.
The first of the four agreements in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements is — Be Impeccable With Your Word. He calls this agreement the most important and he is so right. This may seem straightforward and easily obvious at first, but it is much more than just telling the truth. It means really honoring your word and truly expressing your intentions and fullest expression of yourself in every situation and every moment. It means knowing that the words come from the source that creates your life. As you use your words, you create your life. Your inner peace is directly tied to how you are using your words in your life. By saying exactly what you mean, meaning what you say, using your words wisely and carefully towards and about others, selecting carefully which words you give your attention to, setting your intention clearly in all you do, not making compromises with your words to please others or make them more comfortable, etc., you bring honor to all the words in life and they start speaking to you more clearly. When you can hear the words more clearly, you can live more deeply…you can tap into the flow of Life.
I have never ever been accused of being a woman of few words. In fact, sometimes here in my writing I try to keep it short and sweet and it just doesn’t work for me. It doesn’t come naturally. I have always been pretty good at explaining things and communicating somewhat effectively, but doing so in just a few words has never been my strong point. I have been through many phases with words in my life and I feel myself entering a new phase with them in my daily life now…I deeply desire uttering less of them. It feels a bit strange for someone who thrives on good conversation and cherishes words so very much, but it is definitely what I am feeling drawn to. Here are some possible reasons saying fewer words may be so appealing to me at this point:
- Perhaps I am getting more words out in my writing and I feel less of a need for over-communicating as my soul takes comfort in having expressed what is most meaningful to me. (It truly is a comfort to have somewhere to express all of these things!)
- Perhaps I finally understand how many of the words we utter are wasted on labeling things and judging situations, which takes us from the joy of living.
- Perhaps the prayer and meditation I am attempting to get better at is seeping into my daily life and calling to me there.
- Perhaps my great love and deep gratitude for words and all they have done for me has made me want to honor them more. I do love words!
- Perhaps, it’s because I am a sometimes tired Mommy who finds herself repeating the same things over and over and over again to the little ones, and I’m just tired of hearing myself.
- Perhaps I am ready to give my energy towards being instead of saying.
- Perhaps I have learned from the great sages that much wisdom can be said with very little to no words.
- Perhaps I have figured out that the joy lies in stillness which can easily be covered over with unnecessary distractions and interruptions and I am finding more ways to live in the joy of the actual moment rather than talking about another moment.
- Perhaps my being is growing and knows that it is okay to set the personality aside.
- Perhaps I’m frustrated and wish I could live all that I know more and feel like quieting down to do it better and more consistently…
- Perhaps its just human nature and we evolve toward it naturally… my beautiful Granny doesn’t say a whole lot, but when she does, its worth hearing. She says a lot more with her lovely spirit, always positive attitude and loving demeanor. Just to sit in her company is like having a great conversation.
Who knows why I want to say fewer words at this point in life…maybe it is a bit of all of these things. I just feel like saying fewer words as I honor each one of them more. As I try to listen and honor what I am feeling, its been a bit of a struggle so far…those around me seem to be used to me saying a lot…so they aren’t quite comfortable with it yet. Or, maybe its me who is adjusting to more quiet and letting things be as I allow more stillness and try to quiet the noise. It feels exhausting and disappointing when I revert back to too many words as I break this habit…it will come though I am sure. It’s a work in progress. I’ll keep you posted. It is a nice calming shift when I can do it and I am grateful for it…it has been interesting to feel the work of words inside me and to watch the relationship with words evolve. Love is always the answer I am sure…I can love myself and those around me through the process of growth and change. Love is.
Wishing us all the courage and wisdom to really look at what we are saying, how we are listening, what we are reading, watching, thinking, allowing in and sharing with others. Wishing us the joy of deep listening and the miracle of connecting the little dots called words.
Sending you joy and love (and lots of words) today and always!