stillness | Live What You Know

August 20, 2013

Master Listening — Master Living

How Do I Listen?

How
Do I
Listen to others?
As if everyone were my Master
Speaking to me
His
Cherished
Last
Words.

-Hafiz

Perhaps the best practice today would simply be to listen with the fullest possible intensity and attention to everyone and everything around me. Maybe this simple act would ground me so deeply in the amazing flow of life and the perfection the universe has picked out for me that I wouldn’t hear any mind chatter and I could stay perfectly in the actual moment that I have been invited to dwell in. Maybe by really hearing what is being said and what isn’t being said in the silence in between and the stillness that surrounds me, I would feel only joy and spread pure joy to others. Maybe when you master listening, you master Living!

I can’t imagine being able to answer the question above the way Hafiz did. Amazing! I can imagine how it feels to have a conversation like this or even one moment where you really touched the essence of life and heard what the universe is saying. I have experienced this kind of listening and it is absolutely breathtaking. Knowing this and experiencing this divine feeling, I still fall back regularly into the rush and let day-to-day life keep me from living with this level of attention. I think that once we know how important truly listening to life is, living in any other way is exhausting for our spirit and soul. I have a hunch that a deeper practice of listening to life with my fullest attention is just what my soul needs most. The joy of really hearing someone and really seeing them fresh in the moment feels so good to us and to them, it heightens the energy level of everything and allows us to be much more of ourselves. Truly hearing and experiencing the sounds around us with wonder can only bring more peace. Listening to the stillness behind everything is nurturing for our soul. I am ready to nurture my soul and replenish through listening to the best of my ability.

I think we’re all starved for fuller attention from others and for opportunities to give our fullest attention to others. I believe truly listening is the most amazing gift we can give or receive. We can help someone hear what their soul really wants to say, just by purely listening. I would like to practice living in a way that honors all that listening really is. I don’t want to show up with my veil of perceptions, distractions and reactions, I want to be there fully and listen with my whole heart. I believe if done well, listening can change the way we see and experience the world.

Once you start the journey of quieting the mind and opening the heart, it’s a shame to give the silence away and fill it up with your own words and your own distractions and reactions so easily! Surrendering our attention so readily to so many things without placing it purely on what is right in front of us now is like numbing ourselves to life where we can no longer truly experience anything. It is surrendering the beauty and joy that life has to offer. Our attention is sacred and must be cared for and treated with reverence. I don’t need to hear more of my little thoughts or my voice reacting to things, I want to listen to what life really has to say and truly live from there.

Simply put – listening really really well to all of life could save us all a lot of trouble and bring us all a lot of joy.

God help me listen, speak, breathe and be from stillness today and always!

I wish you a day filled with generous listening — others to you and you to Everything! I also wish you love, smiles, laughter and fun!

August 18, 2013

Let Beauty Awaken Your Soul

“When our eyes are graced with wonder, the world reveals its wonders to us. There are people who see only dullness in the world and that is because their eyes have already been dulled. So much depends on how we look at things. The quality of our looking determines what we come to see.”
―John O’Donohue, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace

Beauty. What is it? Where does it come from? Why does it touch us so? What happens to us when we experience it?

When we experience true beauty, everything stops. We take it in. We experience the stillness that it came from. I believe that we remember where it came from and it feels like home to us. It awakens us from our daily life for a moment and takes us somewhere else. It moves us. It thrills us. It is love sent to remind us of who and what we are.

When we experience a beautiful song, a masterful dance performance, a great poem, a theatrical production, a scene in a movie, a sunset, a beautiful piece of artwork, even an amazing sports moment…anything that has true beauty, we are changed in that moment. Beauty can wake us up to more of life, it takes us out of the ordinary and out of our thinking mind — into our senses fully and it is a gift when it does. We stop thinking, we have no worries, we aren’t planning or distracted or bored…we are really there experiencing the beauty and relief in being taken to a more meaningful moment. We all have experienced those precious moments when we sit in awe of something so beautiful, we feel it deep inside. Remember it and you can feel it now.

That moment is always there for us. We must remember that stillness and invite it to visit more often. We can bring more beauty into out lives, we simply need to be open to seeing it. We need to add enough space to let it in. Beauty is all around us. It is everywhere, not just in the so-called works of art. There is magical beauty in the smallest of things everywhere. Everything was created in that stillness. The truest of beauty is in the lines on an elderly face, the wag of a dog’s tail, the way the sunlight hits the sink full of dirty dishes, laughter, smiles, eyes, the book in your hands, the sound of your child calling “Mom”, kindness in any form, the mess you made having fun…beauty is everywhere. We don’t have to wait for the sensational, we can see it everywhere. We can let it wake us up to more of Life.

Today, in many ways, beauty has been reduced to idealized notions of what society deems beautiful. It is actually rather frightening to see what is happening in the name of beauty. That is not what we are talking about here. We are talking about true works of Life. God is experiencing himself in so many ways and through that experiencing, comes beauty. We can bless our lives by looking with fresh eyes that are open to the beauty that surrounds us all the time. We can help others see the beauty too.

Let’s take the time to touch beauty in a more meaningful way today and see how it changes our experience of life. Let’s not wait for the big obvious moments, lets find it in the imperfection that is called Life.

Have fun seeing the beauty around you today, your soul knows how…today is the perfect day to spend more time with your soul. Your soul is pure beauty!

Below is my son’s favorite poem, Little Things by Julia A. F. Carney. The beauty in his five-year-old writing and the sweet joy he gets in reading this poem and knowing he is one of my favorite little things is simply stunning…to me, better than any masterpiece or work of nature I could ever encounter.

Wishing you lots of joy in the beauty found in little things today and always!

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August 5, 2013

Freedom From Being Right…or Wrong

“The ego is the false self – born out of fear and defensiveness.”
– John O’Donohue, Anam Cara

There is no right and wrong, only different ways of looking at things. I am very interested in perception, I am sure it is a topic I will visit often here. I love to try to open my heart by seeing things from various perspectives. Anytime someone seems wrong, you can usually just try to see things from their perspective and then their actions make sense immediately. You can save yourself from a bunch of mind torture over judgmental thoughts and you can love the other instead of seeing them as wrong. Then you are reminded…there is no right or wrong, just different ways of looking at things. After doing this for a while, you really don’t have to shift your perception anymore, you find a way to just BE and quit judging whether things are right or wrong or good or bad all the time. A new freedom takes hold and it is magnificent! Its living with an open heart rather than a fixed way of looking at the world!

We are so very connected to each other. I know this is true and I believe that we all know it at the deepest part of our hearts. There are some universal laws in play with this truth that are just happening whether we are aware of it or not. How we treat others is exactly how we treat ourselves. Hopefully we can all sort of agree on that; when we’re ready, we can take the idea a bit farther. I am going to go ahead and mention one of the hardest things to truly learn that I have been working with over the past few years (and many more to come I am sure). Here goes – you can only see in others what you have in yourself. At first I thought this was a bit crazy and hard to accept…its hard to admit what we may have in us. I have been working with it for some time now and I can see the profound truth in it and just how much it can help us grow in unexpected and delightful ways. We truly can change the way we see the world as we change what we have in our minds and our hearts. It’s a nice bonus that as we make meaningful changes inside and align our personality with our soul a bit more, simultaneously we will see the world in a new way as well.

As we go about changing what we focus on inside and how we see the world outside us, one thing that can help a lot is practicing freedom from being right. This practice alone can help to change how you relate to your ego. True growth and change requires ego work on many levels. Finding little ways to live from love rather than our ego can lead from being imprisoned by a life lived from the ego’s perspective to a life lived with an open heart. The joy of life doesn’t come from the ego, it comes from being One with Life. There are many ways to learn about your ego and to turn away from it to make choices from stillness instead. One thing you don’t want to do is attempt eradicating the ego, focusing on it will only allow it to grow. We want to find little ways to turn towards stillness thus chipping away at the ego bit by bit. Lets begin with simply giving up being right and see what we may gain from this practice.

What we may gain by giving up being right:

Better listening skills – if you are always concerned with being right, you cannot hear what others are saying. If you think you’re right and they’re wrong, as soon as they speak, you will be thinking of what you will say next…not listening. It is impossible to really be with someone if you cannot listen to them. We would gain a lot more connectedness and enjoy people more with better listening.
Openness to other points of view – we may be surprised to see how good it feels to be open to ideas and unfamiliar things…it is really where the pulse of life is happening…the exciting stuff…Oneness with Life.
Freedom from defensiveness – if we don’t have to be right then we will be okay with others thinking we’re wrong. What a relief that can be. If we don’t have to worry so much what others think…then we begin to tap into true freedom.
Energy – it is exhausting to be right. There is so much convincing to do and proof to gather. You have to waste so many words and so much energy trying to change someone else’s point of view. Imagine if you spent that energy just being open and listening…you would have boundless energy to spend on something more productive and creative.
Freedom from gossip and other toxic activities – gossip is all about what others are doing wrong and how we know what is better or right. The whole “can you believe he/she did that?” – if we weren’t busy figuring out who was right and wrong and judging everything we wouldn’t ever find ourselves in those types of conversations. If we didn’t need to convince others that we had been wronged, we wouldn’t have to talk about other people to hear how right we are. We would come from a place of knowing better than talking about others choices. We would have more room in our hearts to send love to people without judging them.
A clearer mind – if you can free your mind from all the thoughts it has about being right and making others wrong, you would open the doors to a lot of stillness and beauty in life. You would see things more clearly and experience life in a new way – from stillness.
Meet more open and loving people – how we treat others is how we treat ourselves. If we are someone who likes to be right, then we will find ourself making others wrong. Because we are all so connected, it is just like making yourself wrong. It will come back around to us…for sure. People don’t enjoy being around people making others wrong, it hurts us all. If we can clean this up and see the best in people, people will see the best in is us and we will encounter miraculous relationships with open and loving people.
Courage – anything would be possible without the fear of being wrong, we could re-direct all that energy to doing what we are meant to be doing.
Peace – seeing the good in others and treating others and ourselves with kindness can bring nothing but more peace into our life…what is better than that?!

What we may lose by giving up being right:

A bigger stronger ego – the ego loves loves loves to be right and make others wrong. Every time it does so, it grows a bit and gets a stronger hold on its own identity. It gets more of the mind activity attention and gets us to turn from love and towards a stronger ego.

Wishing us all a loving and open heart as we go about our days without being right. Wishing you no “should-ing” on anyone and in return no one “should-ing” on you. May you be comfortable with the not-knowing in life. Be kind to yourself as you practice – as thoughts pop into your head ready to make right or wrong, remember, it’s just a thought and you don’t have to identify with it, just let it pass and turn towards love instead. Lets make the world a little kinder! Sending you love!

August 1, 2013

A Well Lived Day – Your Masterpiece…The Morning.

“Make Every Day Your Masterpiece.” –John Wooden

One day is the perfect metaphor for a lifetime. We wake up, we live the day, we return to the source to regenerate. For our lifetime, we are born, we live our life, we return to the source. If we can live our day well, we can live our life well. Coach Wooden said it so simply – “Make Every Day Your Masterpiece.” It is simple and at the same time, it is profound and life changing. How would you spend the day if it was to be your masterpiece? I believe it is worth figuring out and going for… we never know how many days we will have and the days we are given truly are a gift. Our days are precious; we create and design our lives with them. If we can figure out what our Masterpiece day would look like, then we can take the steps to live it each day. A well lived day will be an on-going topic at Live What You Know, lets begin with the morning. My Masterpiece Morning for a regular day would look something like this:

First thing – a nice cuddle with my husband – just a few special moments before we begin the day (he leaves incredibly early, so those few moments are precious)
Up before dawn, see the sun come up, see the birds and the rays of light (or just take in nature depending on the weather), feel connected to it, rested and ready to start my day
Workout – something to get the energy flowing and body moving – build strength and health, help the soul return to a body that is ready
Shower and put on comfortable morning clothes
Meditate and pray – touch the stillness and set the intention for the day
Coffee and writing – create from the stillness where all true creativity comes from
Post a meaningful blog that touches many people and inspires a great day for others as well as myself (not every day – but when the post is there)
Be ready to greet the kids as they wake with joy and present energy – take in their beings as they start their day…fun cuddle time.
Healthy breakfast with great conversation and very present energy where the kids and I set the foundation for making it a wonderful day
INSERT REST OF MASTERPIECE HERE – with a morning like the above – anything is possible!

So, that would be my masterpiece morning.

The morning is the most important part of ensuring a well lived day. First of all, we want to live our life…we don’t want life to live us. As a recovered “night person” and someone who loves to sleep, I don’t say this easily. It takes a lot for me to stay in the vibration that allows me to make the most important decision of the day – get up real real early and get out ahead of the day and start it your way. As you can see, my idea of a perfect day includes a lot of things before the kids get up (or before others are requiring something from me – for you it may be work, etc.), the point is to start your day with plenty of time for yourself as you begin to design the day. I know for sure that this is essential to a well lived day. I have been on and off this wagon so many times, certainly enough to see that doing it is the best choice and it really does set the tone for the day! Otherwise life can take you for a ride and you are out of the driver seat and off and running in the direction of what everyone else wants from you.

Figure out what makes the morning a masterpiece for you. Include time to at least set your intention for the day. Some quiet time that allows you to feel the stillness that is behind everything will change your life. Even just meditating for a few minutes and praying to whomever you pray to (God, Universe, whatever you call it). The stillness you touch will stay in your background, it will be there when you need it later on. You can access it to add space around your choices and live in the vibration of your soul…with purpose and presence rather than reaction. It will make you better at everything you do. The prayer will remind you of your intention for the day and allow you a chance to ask to be used in the service of life…you can feel more connection to everything around you throughout the day just by taking a few minutes in the morning to ask for it. If you’re not used to morning prayers, just a few statements to yourself will do…its the same thing (another topic for another day).

Creating these habits and a great morning practice that works perfectly for you takes time and patience and lots of tweaks. There was a period where I really had it down and it changed my life…it created my best year ever…ah, 2010. As the kids got older and new commitments came in for them I let new obligations get in the way of my mornings and lost the ability to make it a priority…I just couldn’t quite figure out how to get it all in. Since that time I have been sporadic about keeping it up. I can see the effects of that on my life. I am ready to give myself the gift of living what I know in the mornings consistently. Wish me success! I wish you success too!

The first step is admitting that getting up earlier to do it is necessary and will enhance your life in countless ways. As they say…the first step is admitting it. Lets admit it and then have a go at doing it and making it stick. Admit it, try it, keep doing it if you already are, try even earlier if there is more you want to do…wherever you are on the subject… Happy Early Mornings! Be kind to yourself with setbacks!!!

PS – it should be noted that masterpiece mornings require changes at nighttime too…stay tuned for more about creating your masterpiece evening.

Tag: stillness

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