Present | Live What You Know

January 18, 2014

The Little Birdie

I sit in my chair, reading my book as I do each morning. I quiet myself and slow myself as I attempt coming into the moment fully. It takes focus of attention, clearing of the mind, breathing in the spirit…it is my practice. Today, I am reading about listening. Sacred listening. Not the listening we do with our ears, but the listening we do with our entire being. The kind of listening I long to give to this world and to receive from this world. I am slowly digesting this book; each sentence is like a poem, uncovering depths of spirit, being and belonging. It is the book that Life picked out for me to read at this time.

I take a minute to breathe and sit in stillness as I glance out the window; I love the view from this spot. A little birdie lands on the fence, perfectly positioned in the middle of the stage in my beloved backyard scene. He is listening, with his entire being. I see him naturally belonging to the world and being what he is. He isn’t finishing the other birdies’ sentences or chiming in with his opinions. He doesn’t label all that he sees around him. He isn’t bringing up the past and worrying about the future. He doesn’t take things personally or complain about his circumstances. He isn’t resisting what already is and constantly wishing to change things. He isn’t thinking about what type of bird he should be or how he will live in this world. He listens to everything. He doesn’t just go with the flow, he is the flow. He knows where he should fly, when to spread his wings and when to sit still and watch. He knows when to be with the other birdies and when to go it alone. He is never truly alone because he isn’t out in nature, he is nature. He is this world and the world is him.

Thank you little birdie. As I continue my reading I am overcome with the knowing that it isn’t just about figuring out how to live, it is really about how to spend our time being.

Wishing us all the presence of mind, body and spirit to listen to everything and simply be as we reside comfortably in knowing that our being will take us where we are meant to go and have us live what we are meant to live. Sending you love and joy today and always.

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January 15, 2014

You Are Already There

Time is a bully! Let’s stand up to it!

In our culture, our days are split into segments of time and our moments are given varying degrees of importance. It is kind of crazy how we have allowed time to push us around. We watch the clock, waiting for things to happen…”When will they arrive?”, What time do we need to be there?”, “When should we get ready?”, “How long will the drive take?”, “When will this line get moving?”, “I can’t wait until…”, “I will be so happy when…”, etc. We constantly think the next thing is what we are waiting for. The truth is, we are already there; but, unless we can really feel that, we stay stuck in the world of being pushed around and bullied by time.

We are all at our own perfect place on our path toward self-realization and awareness. We each have varying degrees of presence we are able to access throughout the day. No matter where you are on your path, you can observe how you are treating the moments in your life and find ways to honor them and experience them more fully. Are you using parts of the day that are your least favorite or that you dread as a means to an end? Do you rush through things to get to the next? Do you allow yourself to feel that things will be better when this chore or task is complete? Is there constantly some future moment that seems like it will be a better one that will bring you happiness? Is there some change that would make things much better? Are you distracting yourself from your real life? Are you truly present to the Life you already are (we don’t have life, we are Life)?

Many people live in the state of waiting for the next thing much of the time and don’t even know that they are not present in their life and much of their experiences are passing them by. It is like sleep-walking without knowing it. Your real life is there waiting for you to join in and you’re busy wishing something else was happening and resisting what already is. Our life is made up of a bunch of moments and the one we are in is the only one we can ever actually live; life only comes in the form of now. This crazy relationship we have developed with time is truly a dreadful way to live and sure to bring suffering as we dwell in resisting what is. If we have a certain number of moments while here on Earth in this form, why should standing in line at the pharmacy be any less meaningful and present than attending a party or celebration? Why is the drive to the event something to hurry and get over with? How do we treat any moment as something to throw away? We don’t have to; we can treat all of our moments the same and enjoy Life the way we are meant to.

Here are a few ideas that may help us do this no matter where we are on our path; they should apply in every situation (easy to say, harder to actually do…wishing us all the ability to live these things…with practice, we can do it!):

Accept Everything – Yesterday, for example, I woke up with excruciating back pain that was making it hard to breathe and a sore throat that felt like swallowing cement. As I groaned in pain at every move I made, I also felt this wonderful sense of peace in the background. I knew I had all these reasons mounting that would prevent me from doing what I needed to do for the day (or thought I needed to do)…but it really didn’t matter. It slowed my day down and gave me many joyous moments I may not have experienced otherwise. I resisted nothing, adjusted with the details, and in doing so, my throat pain eased up and my back improved dramatically. I had a really peaceful day filled with a lot of sweet moments (even the kids and I cleaning up our third plumbing issue in the past few weeks…we just made it fun). I could have resisted and been frustrated and stayed in all kinds of pain and misery, but in going with the flow, I accessed my inner peace and it was quite lovely. I know from past experience that resistance and worry over things helps them hang around longer. My day didn’t improve because I started feeling better…I was already there in the peace found in the moment and the details came to match the real me…rather than me allowing my circumstances to pretend to be me. The truth is that everything happens as it should and everything passes. So, why resist anything? Just accept it all. Sometimes we face little things like the examples above and sometimes we must face major difficulties and tragedies…practicing on the little things will help us when things really get tough. Accepting every little thing as if you chose it will prepare you for anything and lead you to true inner peace that won’t depend on your outer circumstances.
Label Nothing – Part of accepting everything is learning to label nothing. We have a tendency to label every single thing that happens as good or bad. Truth is, we don’t really know which it is and we’re just guessing or reliving past experiences and assuming they will be the same…the experience is really neither good, nor bad, it just is. By not labeling, we don’t have to draw on the past or take ourselves to the future to project how it will work out. We get to truly experience each thing and each moment and use the energy we would have wasted on labeling it for actually living it. We open ourselves up to all that Life is and expand to more of ourselves and the world around us. We truly grow.
Get Comfortable With Not Knowing – If we already know how this is going to go, then we aren’t really present to it. If we are playing things out in our minds by reliving things and projecting futures that may never happen, we aren’t there, we’re lost in some other experience. Not knowing means we really open up our senses and awareness and see what happens. It is magical. I actually think this is an entire post on its own, so I will try to keep this short. The not knowing is so much better than the knowing…it is amazing. You know how the more you learn, the more you realize that you have so much more to learn…well, it’s kind of like that. It’s like, the more you don’t already know, the more you have to live. I love it!
Slow Down – Just try it. Nothing bad will happen, you can add more space around things, take more breaths before you talk, more quiet before you react, more opportunities to just be. You can build your life to support slowing down, even in today’s world. You can choose your pace and make it stick. You can make little choices and little changes slowly that point you in the direction of taking all the time you need to enjoy all the life you are. You can do it! On time is when you get there because you are already there.
Ritual – Anything can be a ritual. We recently started a tea-time ritual at our home. It’s a work in progress, but we’re trying to have a midpoint in the day that reminds us to slow down and enjoy where we are. We are assigning duties to each family member to put it together and we are formally sitting down to sip tea, talk, enjoy silence together and eat our crudités, fruit and tea cookies in presence. As we prepare it, enjoy it and clean it up, we can bring honor to it by making it a true ritual. This ritual is a new one we are adding midday, we have our morning meditation and prayer, then we have poetry at night. This added reminder in the middle of the day is quite helpful. You could pick anything and make it a ritual worth honoring and as a tool to bring more presence into your life. We recently added meditation bracelets to our morning practice; we put them on to remember the peace we felt on our mat and bring it to whatever moment we are in throughout the day. Pick anything and make it sacred…even sorting the laundry, sweeping the floor or brushing your teeth…it really can be done. Taking the time to honor things and make them sacred is so healing and can add so much peace to your life.
Listen — To everything and everyone. Rush no person and no experience. We are not in this world, we are of this world…everything is speaking to us and telling us something. Manage your relationship with time so that you can hear Everything.
Love — Just had to put it here because it is always the answer and of course, all we ever need. Spread it and receive it well.

These are just a few ideas to help us stand up to time. Your soul already knows which ones will help you most; sometimes we just need the reminder that the time to do it is now. Now is all there ever is. Wishing you presence, peace and freedom found in timelessness. Sending you love and joy today and always!

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January 10, 2014

Becoming The Ocean

If you don’t become the ocean, you’ll be seasick every day. –Leonard Cohen

This quote is such a great realization. I came across it in my reading this week and it put all I was feeling into clear, loving and true perspective. To live on the surface of life, where we allow our inner state to depend on our outer circumstances is rocky, stormy and sickening. It does feel like navigating during fluctuating storms that just keep rolling in. It is possible to live from down deep in calm waters and to be fluid as we flow through life with the understanding that the moment is all we have and things are happening just as they should. How do we do it? We use every experience we encounter to build more presence in us, to ground us in our true essence of love and connectedness to all things…which can only be found in the present moment.

As we grow our presence and ability to live from the quiet place inside us, we still have to navigate the circumstances and people around us. As we get better at this, the opportunities to practice it seem to mount. We all have loved ones we hold dear and often those very relationships are the ones that allow us to grow the most. I spend a lot of time with my two precious little ones. They bring so much joy, laughter and moments of love, but, they also bring many many opportunities to practice all of the things I have learned about presence and consciousness. If I didn’t have the day-to-day challenges with the kids, I would probably have myself convinced that I have evolved to a much higher level of consciousness. I have little encounters with them all the time that remind me of what I can work on and just where I am at. It is a gift to have these two to work with as I try to stay in the deep waters for longer periods of time and teach them to do the same.

Here’s the thing, the kids are constantly trying to pull me into feeling whatever they are feeling and as they grow and encounter new challenges and responsibilities, their emotions are all over the place. Sometimes it feels like living with little emotional bandits, taking me on a ride over getting their jacket, tackling a math problem, clearing the table or tying their shoes, etc. They are little, vulnerable and highly identified with me. If they are stressed or upset about something, they want me in the same state. I think they feel that if I am feeling the same stress, they will feel better or get help; its like they feel that if I’m upset too, they won’t be alone in it. I can feel the pull between the three of us of how they want company in their emotions. I am always trying to live from a place of non-reaction by putting more space around my choices. It is kind of funny to hang out with people who really really want to get a reaction out of you when you so badly want to stop reacting to everything that comes your way. There is a kind of perfection in it that allows me to feel just how connected I am to everything and how God/Life lines up the perfect circumstances to grow you to be more of your essential self.

You can be sure that whatever circumstances you are working with, they are the exact, perfect ones made just for you that will deliver you to all that you are meant to experience on the path leading in the direction of becoming more of who you really are. Whenever I hit a bump or fall flat on my face by forgetting everything I know, I can feel the meaning in the experience and be grateful for whatever the details looked like. Me and my little emotional bandits get up and forgive each other pretty quickly and jump back into the joy of life. We talk openly about all these things, so they are learning right alongside me. They teach me so much in such a pure way.

Let’s have a moment of get-real perspective here; perception is always a great teacher, it is usually a good idea to flip things around and see how they look from the other side. As I was thinking about the “emotional bandits” part of things, I realized that I am an emotional bandit as well. I have heard myself say, “Why can’t we just be in the moment?”, “Let’s get into the flow of life.”, “Joy is waiting for you whenever you’re ready.”, and many more such statements. It would seem that I, too, am guilty of resisting the emotions others are experiencing and trying to get them to feel something I want to feel. Even if I am trying to get them to feel “good” things, it is still me trying to get those around me to feel and act the way I want them to, so that it can come more easily to me as well. To be honest, I have seen myself in bad times trying to get others to feel bad with me too. It is a hard thing to admit, but as I look at things from this perspective, I cringe at some of the times I was down, stressed or overwhelmed and my husband was happily buzzing around and I dragged him through my emotions just to have some company. Fear makes us do all kinds of weird things. Thank goodness we have always come out of it pretty quickly and we know where it all comes from. The yuckie stuff is always fear and the lovely stuff is love…no exception.

So, we all do it…we all try to bring our loved ones with us on our little emotional trips. As we ride the waves in a storm, it is lonely to do it alone…we seek company and we drag them into our boat because we are afraid of making the trip alone. Once we can learn to live from a more spacious place that allows others to have their feelings and express what they’re going through without it affecting our state of mind, we can be free of the seasickness and truly taste the freedom of acceptance, present moment living and inner peace. Next time you notice an emotional bandit trying to take you for a ride, just give them love and let it pass through you. Try comforting them by intense listening that allows them to be heard without resistance from you that would cause them to try to convince you and pull you into their emotional boat. If you notice yourself trying to take others for your emotional ride, turn towards love and remember that everything passes, things are always as they should be and even though it feels like it would be lonely to go it alone…it isn’t. Sometimes we just need to feel our feelings deeply and pass through them alone to let them lose their power over us. We can grow and become more of who we really are by swimming deeper, feeling more stillness and realizing that we aren’t ever truly alone…we are connected to all that is around us…what we can see and what we cannot.

Picture it, if you are living at the surface of life, riding the waves, you need that little boat and you constantly seek company in there to endure all the seasickness and storms. If you are the ocean, you don’t need the boat. You don’t need to get in the boat with others and you don’t need to drag others into yours. You can just be the ocean and heal yourself and others as you spread love and stay calm and peaceful in the moment.

Sending you love, calm, peace, joy and presence.

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January 1, 2014

Happy New Day…The One That Happens Each and Every Day!

So, it’s January 1, 2014. It feels like a new beginning, a fresh start…full of possibility. The newness of the first day of the year is a wonderful gift, but it only comes once a year. The truth is that we have the opportunity to start each and every single day fresh and full of possibility. We get to decide each day who we will be, what we will do with our day and what we will bring to the world. We get to choose what we will see, how much love we will spread, how much joy we will live and how much peace we will feel.

We’re all doing our best, working towards becoming more of ourselves and showing up more authentically in the world; whether we know it or not, that is what we’re doing. Some days it works well and some days we struggle and cause suffering for ourselves and others around us. Each day and each moment, we have the opportunity and the ability to choose to start fresh and choose love.

“The human emotional system can be broken down into roughly two elements:
fear and love.
Love is of the soul.
Fear is of the personality.”

~ Gary Zukav – from “Seat Of The Soul” ~

This year as I continue to work on closing the gap between what I know and what I am living, and then expanding to a new gap as I learn more (I’m figuring out that life is lived in the gap and there will always be one), I do have one main goal in mind. I hope to live from a place of love that leaves no room for fear. I will use this space to share how that will look in my life. I want to live with an open heart in each moment, allowing me to assume nothing, take nothing personally and listen to Life deeply as it continues to guide me to more of myself. I want to choose more of the soul and less of the personality. I want to spread love wherever I can. I want to use all that I know and embrace the unknown as I continue to build habits that will support my growth, always turning away from fear and towards love as I push through to the essential me. I will fail, I will try again, I will start fresh a lot. I will share openly with us all here.

I am grateful for this space. Every time I hit publish on one of these posts, it feels like a fresh conscious moment to choose who I am. As part of my love, not fear, open heart, lived moment by moment year, I am opening the site up for comments. I am ready now. I welcome the idea of connecting with my readers more. I feel ready to hear how others are living what they know and I hope to build a nice space for us all to learn and grow. Thank you everyone for sharing this space with me.

Wishing us all the courage and presence to awaken every single day to the possibility that we are. Sending you love and joy!

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December 31, 2013

Honor The Little Things and Big Things Will Happen

It is in the air right now…setting goals, making resolutions, trying to make changes. This is all fine and can be a lovely experience…until it isn’t. For this process to go well, it is important to remember, it is the little things that make success possible. All things are made up of lots and lots of little things that connect to each other in ways beyond our imagination. Honoring the little things we do brings more awareness and roots us in presence that allows us to live a conscious and authentic life. Doing little things well, with our fullest attention and awareness can keep us awake to life and bring peace to us and everyone around us. The intention we put behind each little thing comes back to us in direct proportion. Let’s talk about socks…

Little things done well is probably the greatest secret to success. –Coach John Wooden

Coach Wooden has shared many great lessons about the little things and paying attention to detail. Coach describes paying attention to detail as the difference between champions and near champions. In many of his books, he gave us the beautiful story of how he instructed his players to put on their socks. At the first squad meeting each season, he personally demonstrated with explicit detail how to start with the toes, how to run your fingers along the side to prevent wrinkles, how to handle the heel and much more (it is actually quite a long explanation). He would demonstrate and then watch each player do it. Then he would move on to the other foot and do that one, first demonstrating, then watching. Next, how to tie your shoes. He speaks passionately about preventing blisters and avoiding laces coming undone.

In various interviews with Coach’s players, they share their perspective of the sock lessons. They recall being excited and ready to have their first meeting with the greatest coach of all time. With enthusiastic anticipation, waiting to hear how they would win the championship, how he had been so successful, the secret to winning, etc., anxious to get down to those legendary practices, they would soon find themselves learning how to put on their socks. They would start the season with intense sock training and end winning the championship; quite a powerful lesson on little things.

Coach left a great gift behind by recounting his dedication to the little things for us. He planned his practices down to the second. He was all about proper preparation and attention to the smallest detail. No matter what success his team encountered, he always stayed true to his Pyramid of Success, living all of the little things explained within and doing his personal best in all things (big and small). He started every single season with the socks.

I have heard Eckhart Tolle talk at great length about noticing how it feels to pull on your pants, how to feel the fabric on your skin, how to experience every part of getting dressed in the morning, bringing presence to it all. He talks about truly experiencing our morning shower instead of not really being there because we have allowed our mind to distract us with thoughts about the day or worry about the past. He describes the difference in really being there and feeling the water hit our skin and the joy of that everyday experience we so often miss.

Thich Naht Hanh tell us, “Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this moment is life.” I have heard him describe the experience of tea. It is lovely. When asked how long it takes him to drink a cup, he said it was about an hour. A mindful cup of tea is an hour well spent.

If you do little things well, you’ll do big ones better.

I have a plaque on my desk that says the quote above. It has no name attached to it; someone said it, someone made the plaque. I am grateful they did. It is a nice reminder.

Years ago, my son found his favorite poem. He recited it quite frequently, even in front of his preschool class. It just so happens, it is called Little Things. It is by Julia A. F. Carney. I included this image below in a previous post about Beauty. To me, this is a beautiful image because it is my boy’s sweet young writing and because the words are so powerful and contain so much wisdom. On his own, at three years old, he connected to these words and repeated them countless times throughout our days. That little thing he did for us was really a huge blessing.

Nothing big can happen without countless little things happening just as they should. We create and design our world with each and every little thing we do. This isn’t about doing things perfectly, there is no such thing. It is about bringing presence to everything we do and doing it with our fullest attention and awareness. It is also about learning how to set goals that will allow enough room to keep all the little things in sharp focus. I have noticed how awful it feels when I cannot do things to the best of my ability and with my full attention. I would rather choose not to do something than have to rush through and half-way go through the motions. My soul knows about the little things and what grounding myself in them feels like, anything less is numbing, inauthentic and brings suffering.

Doing the little things well is truly living, it’s really being where we are and honoring every little detail. All the little activities, choices, thoughts, etc., turn into how we are creating the world we live in. Treating every little thing as sacred brings more presence, more love, more peace, more joy, more miracles, more alignment with our soul’s purpose — more of everything we are meant to live. As you set your goals and resolutions this year, be sure you have enough room for honoring the little things. Those little things add up, multiply and come back to bless you in countless ways — big and small.

May the goals you set for yourself this year be blessed with the proper attention, awareness and presence for honoring the little things necessary to achieve them. Wishing you joy and presence found in putting on your socks, pulling up your pants, taking a shower and drinking a cup of tea. Sending you love!

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December 22, 2013

Stillness and Spaciousness – Making Room For It Throughout Our Days, Living From It…It Isn’t a Future Goal or Luxury When Time Allows…It’s Who We Truly Are

In the journey of life, all roads worth traveling point to the stillness and going within. Life cannot be lived well or peacefully focused without. It doesn’t work.

“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” ―Eckhart Tolle

Spaciousness is essential to realizing who we are and where true peace comes from. As we put more space around everything — every choice, every word, every action, every emotion… we open up more room for peace and the experience of stillness to take hold. The space and stillness is who we really are, it isn’t empty space, it’s where our essential selves are. All the rest is our personality covering over the real us. We can spend a lot of time working on the personality and training it to be all kinds of things, but, underneath it lies a joy and peace that we are all meant to dwell in. This is the connectedness we share with all things.

We have all experienced how a few deep breaths can allow us to make a much better choice by cooling our temper or gathering our courage before a bad choice or reaction. That breath took us to who we really are and allowed more of our true self to emerge and make the better choice. We can work hard on our self-control, which is important; but, we must allow our self-realization to emerge so that we can live in the peace and joy as a permanent state of being.

We can put more space around each and every thing by really experiencing it, from the most challenging situation, to the sweetest gesture from a loved one and everything in between…simply being there with it in a more meaningful way, with a lot of pause and breath and attention. It is the path to joy and peace. Avoiding things or distracting ourselves from things we don’t like only keeps us stuck in the repetitive lessons of a shallow life. Judging and labeling situations and people robs us from our peace and joy by keeping us swirling in our thoughts about things instead of immersed in life and being; those thoughts keep us from the space and stillness. Accepting whatever comes our way and giving it the most of us will deliver us to our truest selves.

“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ― Eckhart Tolle

I haven’t yet mastered the ability, nor found the time to sit on my meditation mat for hours each day. Sometimes I wish I was better at it and could give more time to it, then I remember that there will be time for that. I am sure of it. I understand that I am in this busy time of life right now with so many different roles, goals, responsibilities and others counting on me, etc., and that is all just as it is meant to be. I don’t have to wait for more space and stillness in some future that would allow more time, I can use my life situation just as it is now to bring more space and stillness to all that I am doing. I can use all the little “doings” in my life to allow more of my essential “being” to emerge. This is my practice.

“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being.” ―Eckhart Tolle

To live a life of non-reaction means to live more deeply from your essential being. It is so easy to let the personality respond to every little thing; it is also a dreadful way to live. Adding space and stillness as you accept what comes is what can allow you to skip reacting and shift to being. It amazes me how often I stumble into the truth that it is all in the little things. I have heard that lesson from countless teachers, poems, quotes, signs, etc. I tell my kids, “This family has big ideas, but we implement them with our little choices again and again.” It is a great practice to honor all the little things…

“The significance is hiding in the insignificant. Appreciate everything.” ―Eckhart Tolle

Loving all little things and honoring them with enough space to be is a great practice. Slowing down to be with each little thing. Add a breath before and after everything. Feel things more deeply. Before you do or say or think anything, just be. All the doing can become more miraculous. Life can feel more meaningful; the key is in honoring each and every little thing you do…it all connects to the next moment. Everything is sacred. Cherish everything.

“Doing is never enough if you neglect Being.” ―Eckhart Tolle

There are many practices that can help bring more stillness and spaciousness to our days. Many have gone before us and provided wonderful examples and paths for us. Our souls lead us to the best path for us. All paths lead to the same place. There is no need to wait until we can be great at our spiritual practice and fashion it after the great teachers before us. We can just BE with the truest part of ourselves right where we are at doing whatever we are doing. Yesterday, I found my space and peace (which had escaped me for a bit) by sitting in the middle of my son’s self-created game of “Airport” in which all his cars were in various lines waiting to take off on one of his planes. He was completely immersed in the joy of playing and happy to share this imaginary world he had created. He shared it with me so joyfully. His playtime was naturally in the peace and joy that we all have waiting for us; I joined him there and blessed my soul with really truly being there. He had set his game up right in front of my bedroom door; I was simply passing through. I could have walked right though that amazing moment; instead, I stopped and found my soul right in the middle of his “Airport.”

I am wishing us all the wisdom to stop and be where we’re at and cease walking through the precious moments we are meant to experience. I am wishing us spaciousness and stillness as a permanent companion so we can truly feel who and what we are and live in the peace and joy that has always been there waiting for us.

Thank YOU for visiting me here! This is an important part of my practice and your visit honors it and encourages me so very much!

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December 14, 2013

A Great Conversation

Nothing delights me like a great conversation! To really connect with someone and find a piece of yourself in the connection is like a little window to the soul. As I mentioned in my previous post, I love John O’Donohue’s description of what a great conversation is. I previously suggested taking the time and provided the link to hear my favorite interview with him (see previous post); I genuinely hope you can gift yourself with this wonderful conversation. I realize, however, that my favorite part takes place around the forty-second minute…I understand that not everyone will feel as though they can spare the 51 minutes and 9 seconds listening to this discussion would take. For those without the time to hear his wonderful words, I want to share a bit more of my favorite part here (please read with a fierce Irish accent…it makes it even better)…

“You have to ask yourself, ‘When is the last time that you had a great conversation?’ A conversation which wasn’t just two intersecting monologues, which is what passes for conversation a lot in this culture. But when had you last a great conversation in which you overheard yourself saying things that you never knew you knew, that you heard yourself receiving from somebody words that absolutely found places within you that you thought you had lost and a sense of an event of a conversation that brought the two of you on to a different plain, and then fourthly, a conversation that continued to sing in your mind for weeks afterwards.” –John O’Donohue

He goes on to talk about some great conversations he has had lately… he describes them as “food and drink for the soul”… In his next words he says the second thing to always ask one’s self is, “Who are you reading and where are you stretching your own boundaries?”… which prompts, of course, more lovely conversation. This man is a poet, everything he says is like music! He covers so many topics in this talk, but for me, great conversation is worth spending some time on.

I love how he describes the common conversations in our culture as “two intersecting monologues”…that is so true! You can feel it when someone is just waiting to say their next thing and not really interested in what you have to say. You can also feel it in yourself when you’re doing the same thing — just waiting for them to pause so you can talk. It is deadening for the soul. I often find that people are surprised when someone really listens to them. I can feel it when their heart comes alive a bit more and they just open right in front of me. It does hurt when someone can’t listen to you, but it isn’t something to take personally (nothing is). People will listen more when they are ready. We can help them along by truly listening to them and honoring them with our fullest attention and interest.

The holidays are upon us, we’re blessed with so many moments of family togetherness and friendly celebrations this time of year; now would be a lovely time to practice having great conversations. They don’t have to be as deep as what John O’Donohue describes above, it would be nice if they could be, but we just have to start somewhere. When we’re with our loved ones and friends and even meeting new friends (every friend was once a stranger), we can bring honor to the words we share with them by truly being there with them and listening to what they may share with us. Your heart and soul know how to do it, you just let yourself be there in the moment and your soul will do the talking, and more importantly, the listening. Dare to ask great questions and truly listen to the answers. Have fun with it. Have joy with it. Your heart will open and you will feel more fully alive.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we all really talked to each other as our true selves, without the image of us that we project throughout our days. It is lovely to truly show up and authentically BE wherever you are at. It may seem as though it isn’t practical, but it is. We can truly be where we are at and honor the moments as the sacred gifts they are. Things are waiting to be seen by you and moments to be experienced by you. My wish for us all this holiday season is the gift of great conversation that awakens the soul and comforts the heart.

May you see kindness wherever you look and spread joy wherever you go! Sending you love and joy!

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December 8, 2013

Swimming in The Deeper Currents of Life

Every single moment of our lives is trying to tell us something. Life itself is the moment. We must make room to allow enough listening to hear what the true message of the moment is. We must bring honor and sacredness to the art that is listening. Every encounter with any being or even just in stillness is an opportunity for deeper listening. More than just a portion of our attention while we multi-task is required for the type of listening we’re talking about here. How do you hear well enough to truly receive a smile? What could be worth skipping a smile meant for you or missing the sound of laughter? Why have we allowed so much noise to creep in and take us from the deeper currents of life?

In a recent Eckhart Tolle talk, he was discussing his teachings and he said, “The person got out-of-the-way enough for the teaching to come through.” I love this idea. If we allow our personalities and all our distractions in life to dominate our experience each day, we don’t leave any room for the sacred to come through. We all know about intuition and we can feel the pull that comes from our “gut” telling us something. We choose if we take the time to practice really listening to life and following where it is leading us. We have the stillness inside that has all the answers we seek. We often cover it up with one distraction after another or we let others tell us what we should do. Perhaps we fear our own authentic power. There is nothing to fear; only love to be found. We are meant to hear the messages, they will get louder if we stay focused on noise and reside in distractions.

“We are evolving
from five-sensory humans into multisensory humans….
The perceptions of the multi-sensory human
extend beyond physical reality
to the larger dynamical systems of which our physical reality is a part.”

~ Gary Zukav ~

Our perceptions are everything. They create our entire world. How we choose to look at the world determines what we will see. How we listen to the world determines who we will be, what we will create and how we will live. It must be noted that our thoughts aren’t always worth listening to. In fact, most often, they are not. We aren’t talking about listening to our thoughts and acting from them. We must go deeper and let the thoughts be what they are — only thoughts. They will pass. We don’t want to make choices because we are under the influence of our thoughts that crept in. We want to listen deeply and use more than just the five senses as we expand and live more fully as our essential being. There is more to listen to.

A simple act of slowing down can help on the path to listening to more of life. I know deeply that the more we can listen to life, the more we can live. I also cannot emphasize enough the importance of clearing the mind and touching the stillness as we slow down. Watch those thoughts and lean back into the space that hears them. There is much more to you than the thoughts. Be the space behind them. Resist jumping on the thoughts and allowing them to grow. Choose your thoughts and choose your life.

Another great practice to bring more listening is accepting what is. Even if someone is being rude, speaking with a harsh tone, interrupting you constantly, saying something you don’t want to hear, acting stressed out…whatever it is, there are reasons why these things are happening. Being the space of loving listening can help ease the suffering of others in so many ways. Accepting what is brings more love into the world. We can love all the great things we encounter quite easily. We can also love the not-so-pleasant things we see as well. There is truly only love and fear. As you see love, of course, love it and spread it. As you see all other things, remember — it is only fear. Give it love too and you can ease suffering and bring more love to the world that way. Even the most dreadful behaviors come from a place of fear. It sounds simple, but it is true. Just love the love and accept the fear as you provide a non judgmental place for it to transform. Any energy spent resisting what is will bring suffering to you and those around you. Resisting what is doesn’t allow you to see and hear what life is telling you. Accept it all as you listen deeply to whatever you are supposed to hear.

Simply put:

slow down
choose your thoughts wisely, letting the others pass like clouds
accept what is no matter what form it comes in
waste no energy resisting what already is…hear the message instead
listen with all your senses – the five and the multi-sensory ones beyond
spread love, by celebrating the love you encounter and accepting the fear you encounter…your acceptance just may allow it to turn towards love
courageously swim in the deeper currents of life; trust your knowing…treat life like one big doing meditation…it is.

One more thing, it is a great hint in life to follow the beauty…true beauty that is. God/Life/Universe/All is in the beauty. See that, hear that, be that and you’re on to something. Hopefully you have time to follow the beauty in this lovely poem below by Mark Nepo. He has gifted the world with amazing work on listening. His latest book is called Seven Thousand Ways To Listen, it is definitely worth the read. Enjoy this gift from those pages.

The Appointment
by Mark Nepo

What if, on the first sunny day,
on your way to work, a colorful bird
sweeps in front of you down a
street you’ve never heard of.

You might pause and smile,
a sweet beginning to your day.

Or you might step into that street
and realize there are many ways to work.

You might sense the bird knows some-
thing you don’t and wander after.

You might hesitate when the bird
turns down an alley. For now
there is a tension: Is what the
bird knows worth being late?

You might go another block or two,
thinking you can have it both ways.
But soon you arrive at the edge
of all your plans.

The bird circles back for you
and you must decide which
appointment you were
born to keep.

Wishing you the courage to swim in the deeper currents of life as you spread love by truly listening to everything! Sending you love and joy!

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November 4, 2013

A Clear Mind

My new morning mantra…

Today, I go out into the world with a clear mind. I leave all thoughts behind.

I spotted a great quote recently that inspired it…

When I walk out into the world, I take no thoughts with me. That’s not easy, but you can learn to do it. An empty mind is hungry, so you can look at everything longer, and closer. Don’t hum! When you listen with empty ears, you hear more. And this is the core of the secret: Attention is the beginning of devotion.” –Mary Oliver

Last Monday morning, I was driving the children to an activity and I paraphrased Mary Oliver’s lovely words above sharing where I had seen them. I then naturally turned them into my new mantra. I kept saying, “Today, I go out into the world with a clear mind. I leave all thoughts behind.” Next thing I knew I was looking at things fresh and clear and miracles were appearing before my eyes. Simply from looking at them with a clear mind. The miracles are always there and God and the Divine are always ready for us to show up and see them, experience them, and BE them.

On that Monday morning before I had used my mantra, I did have things on my mind that seemed to need my attention. I even had a few things I thought needed fixing or my own interference really. After using my mantra and then truly entering the day’s activities with fresh eyes, open ears, and a clear mind with pointed attention…nothing needed my “fixing” anymore. I was simply left grateful and alive.

This weekend someone asked me, “Where do you fellowship?” I said, “Everywhere. I love looking for the Sacred in Everything.” This is my devotion.

Mary Oliver was right…It isn’t easy to take no thoughts with you. She was also right when she said you can learn to do it. It begins with watching the thoughts and then finding your way to quieting them. The joy is in the still, open, attention.

This morning and always, I wish you a clear and open mind to experience the miracles that are ready for you. You don’t have to take expectations with you anywhere you go or into anything you do. Sending you love and joy!

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October 29, 2013

Reaction vs. Action

A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction. –Rita Mae Brown

True answers come from within. We cannot listen to the voice inside while constantly navigating what is going on outside. Reacting to everything that comes our way, trying to please others, wallowing in emotions resulting from others’ actions, defending ourselves and trying to convince others…these are all reactions. We are here to do something. Deep inside we already know how to BE something. We can quiet our minds and live our life. Life is a beautiful dance between quiet-being and conscious-doing. We don’t have to be constantly swayed this way or that depending on the way the world is blowing us. We can connect deeply to our true self and allow more of it to show up in the world.

True questions come from within. We can listen. We can get comfortable with the questions. We can lead lives of meaning and purpose by doing the work within. We can stay with the questions and act out of our truest intention and desire. We don’t have to react to others’ actions. We can choose. We can hear what we are meant to hear and allow the rest to pass through.

We can be compassionate loving people who listen well to others while still keeping enough space around our spark inside to stay the course of our own choices and our own conscious actions. If we choose to react, it can come from a deeper place and we can know it was meant to be. We can move slower and deeper.

The perfect questions and answers for each of us come at the perfect moment. We must listen. To give our joy away, even for a moment, for a reaction, is a waste of energy and an abandonment of our soul. Wishing us all the ability to stay in the joy and nurture our soul today and always!

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Tag: Present

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