Live What You Know

Waking up is more than it seems. You KNOW more than you've ever been "taught"! You chose to be here now. Make yourTRUEself proud!

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August 13, 2014

A Life Well Lived

My Beloved Granny

Granny side by side

On August 5, 2014, my dear Granny left her physical form here on earth.  I have always had my Granny in my life.  Now, I am figuring out how to proceed with her spirit form and live with the void in our lives as we find our new normal without her here in physical form.  We know her spirit is with us and we are grateful she isn’t suffering anymore.  Those of us who loved her so are figuring out what to do with our suffering and how to carry it well.  Granny lived a full and wonderful life.  I had the honor of speaking at her funeral.  My heart is so grateful that I did.  These are the words that I spoke on August 9, 2014 at her memorial service.

—————–begin speech

Hi everyone. It is lovely to look at such an extremely fortunate group of people. Each and every one of us have been so very blessed to know the wonderful woman I call Granny. One thing was for certain about Granny — to know her was to love her… and — to be loved by her. Granny lived with a completely open heart and throughout the whole of her life, she humbly and graciously taught everyone who knew her just what that choice looks like and just exactly what love really is.

Knowing someone like Granny through the whole of your lifetime is the most precious gift. Throughout my life she has been a shinning light to me in various ways and for abundant reasons; sometimes for the laughs, sometimes for the tears, sometimes for the wisdom and always for the love. I have known many versions of my dear Granny over the years as well as loved her through many versions of myself. She always took the time to share openly and authentically just who she was and how she was changing over time as well as to know just exactly who I was and what was important to me at the time. She never ceased amazing me with all that she was. Until her last days, I found myself astounded at her wisdom and, of course, delighted by her spirit.

Over the last ten years I have been reading every spiritual master or great thinker I can find, trying to learn all the best ways to honor a lifetime and fulfill my purpose here on earth. Repeatedly, no matter how various teachers have presented the secrets to life or the best spiritual wisdom around, I found myself thinking, “Granny lives like that” or “Granny knows that one” or “Granny used to say that in her own way.” I am not even sure she knew how much wisdom she possessed, but that is what made being near her so special. She just oozed great things out in a beautiful aura around her. She didn’t have to talk about her wisdom and she didn’t feel identified by it, she didn’t place expectations on others, she simply lived each day the best she could and chose happiness and joy as she shared those choices with everyone around her.

Granny followed her heart; she didn’t follow others. Link Frank Sinatra says, she did it her way. She chose to live a happy, positive life. It was her choice and she made it again and again each and every day. She wasn’t one to tell others how to live, but her life was a lesson for us all. She showed us how to live and love and fill a life with meaning and joy.

Today, I want to share a few of the big lessons from Granny’s life:

Acceptance – Granny lived with utter acceptance of life. Over all the years, all the battles with cancer, or suffering and deaths of loved ones or even just the day-to-day stuff; I never ever heard her wish things were different. She didn’t waste energy wishing things were other than they were. She accepted things as they came and made the best of every situation. Granny was in the flow of Life. If that were the one lesson we took away, it would be enough to lead a beautiful life.

Compassion – Granny loved everyone through everything. She didn’t spend time telling people how they should be living or what they were doing wrong. Even though she always wanted the very best for us all and certainly had to bear with us through interesting choices at times. She never judged. She loved with utter compassion and non-judgment. She had her opinions and could state them when asked or when the mood struck her, but she didn’t push and we never had to worry about disappointing her. It didn’t seem possible. She just knew that things work out and she loved patiently though all things.

A favorite maxim around our house from a beloved teacher is — Don’t Whine, Don’t Complain, and Don’t Make Excuses — Granny lived this so completely. She never ever did whine, complain or make excuses. I love the matter of fact attitude she had at times. As a child, and even as a young lady, during our girl talks, I would question her about things from her past or ask why she hadn’t done something else or made a different choice. She always said, “Stac – that is just the way it was.” She didn’t add reactions and drama to things that had happened or make excuses for any choices ever. She just lived her life the best she could and made no apologies or complaint along the way. That is just beautiful! I must admit that I do love to picture her when I was super little and she still swore and smoked…it comforts me somehow and makes me think there is still hope for me to sort all these things out. Perhaps I’ll get to a place where I truly live all these teachings some day. With her spirit around me, I am sure to succeed. Or at least, get up and try my best again and again and again.

Presence – In all the teachings, said in so many ways, the ultimate truth is always there — the present moment is all there ever is. Granny had a lovely presence about her that was infectious. She had this because wherever she was, she was completely there with all her heart. She didn’t have a lot of distractions about her. She didn’t speak of regrets from the past or worries about the future. She was completely in the moment and happy to be with whomever was with her at that moment in time. This gift she gave to everyone was truly amazing. When we are fortunate enough to spend time with others who are completely present, we can find that presence in ourselves and share it with others. Granny surely did that for everyone here today and throughout her life in so many ways.

Perception – The life we make is created simply out of the one we choose to see. We experience exactly what we think we see and all the details we give our attention to, to go along with that story. We choose. Granny knew this. To say that Granny’s cup was half full is an understatement. She just had that way of seeing the best, expecting the best, forgiving the less than best and helping others see life that way too. I remember when I was little telling her, “Granny, I’m mad!”…in every case, no matter what the cause, she would reply, “Well, you’ll get glad again.” She was right. I did. Thank goodness she didn’t commiserate with me. She taught me a lot through that choice of non-reaction. She allowed me to be as I was and she created the space for me to make a better choice. How very wise of her! What a wonderful gift she gave me.

Love – All the great teachings lead to love. It was life changing for me when I learned that all things are either fear or love and that people act out of those two choices. All those other things that aren’t love are simply fear. When we realize that people are just scared, we can forgive anything and spread love. I think Granny knew that. That is why she was so full of pure love; she understood the alternative and the source for other things. That is how she knew all would always be well and people would figure things out just as they are meant to. We all find our way back to love. I spent a lot of time with Granny over the years and in these last years kept up with my Mom to hear just how things were going.   I am sure that Granny felt fear on many occasions. The thing about her is that she never let it get to her. She knew how to handle things and not let them get the best of her. She kept her heart open to let love come in and chose not to allow fear to close things up. In her last days, she knew how to ask for help from her dear children who were there for her in the most amazing ways. Once when I was little, I remember sitting in the truck with her and my dear Grandpa. They were trying to back the truck into a tight spot. She was nervous at the time and the mood was tense. It took awhile, but they got the job done. When Grandpa got out of the car, she told me, “Stac, it is just terrible when you get old, you get scared of everything. It is awful.” Then off we went to do errands and any trace of fear was impossible to see. She returned to being the fearlessly amazing woman she always was. To that little girl with her, she was just the most wonderful thing in the world. I’m glad she shared those feelings with me that day. I was really surprised. She wasn’t even old yet. She had been so authentic with me and shared her vulnerability with me. She didn’t dwell in it or let it get the best of her. She had the choice to make, and the way I see it, her choice was always love and her life was never lived through the heartbreaking veil of fear.

Granny new much much more about Love and I think that 1 Corinthians 13: verses 4-8a sum it up best. I think Granny would love to hear these verses now and she would be glad to have her loved ones thinking these beautiful thoughts.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Granny was all of these things; she was Love and hers will live on through all the lives she has touched. One of the best ways I ever heard the sound of love in my life was when she would exclaim, “Stacaroo, I love you!” as she would embrace me and delight my soul. As we all know, to be loved by Granny was a truly blessed experience. You didn’t have to know her throughout your entire lifetime or be someone particularly special to her. I believe that we were all special to her. I believe she knew just how connected we all are and just how much love we actually have to give. Thank you so much Granny for sharing your Love so beautifully with so many.

Granny’s life was full of wonderful examples of how to live. I could go on and on here about many many more virtues Granny completely lived in her life…kindness, gratitude, forgiveness, generosity, encouragement, hard work, friendship, determination, loyalty and so much more. She was a living example full of so many wonderful lessons; it is impossible to capture them all here. But, one virtue that she took very seriously and that cannot be left out today is her devotion to and complete and utter passion for fun.

Fun — My favorite spiritual teacher says that if it doesn’t feel good, it isn’t working. Granny knew this. You can’t talk about Granny without talking about having fun.

Where to begin? Perhaps first with her smile. I am sure that if we close our eyes and picture our memories with dear Gran, we will notice the beautiful smile that always lit up her face and we will remember the quick and easy laughter that sprung from her Being so frequently. Oh, how many times she got tickled and taken over with a big case of the giggles – that was truly living. To be near it was to feel alive and well.

To know Granny as a child was just the coolest thing in the world. Granny was timeless; she didn’t treat children like the number attached to their age. She was smitten with children of all ages (even 37) and she always made you feel like your opinion mattered, like you had a voice, that you really knew something and that you were worth her time and attention. She was interested in really getting to know all the little ones in her life and she treated us all with respect and adoration. She made it so easy to give those things back to her. I had so many wonderful childhood experiences with her. Throughout all the years of my adolescence, the thing I remember most of all as I look back now, was that she really listened to me. Her listening continued throughout my lifetime and I know that she gave that same gift to everyone she met and all that she encountered. That listening gave us our strong bond and led us to buckets of fun together.

Just a few fun memories to share:

  • Taking bubble baths together – when I stayed with my dear Grandparents, it was a given that Granny and I had bath time at the end of each day. That was such a special time when I was a tiny girl. Those talks we shared, those giggles too, it was just like she had produced an “everyday” kind of magic that was filling my spirit. It felt so normal, but so magical too.
  • The dancing and singing – oh the memories of Granny ironing away and shaking her hips and singing out her favorite songs while she worked. She definitely knew how to make work look fun.
  • Driving with her – whenever it was just her and I in the car, she belted out the songs so gregariously, it was such a hoot and it gives me the giggles to this day. She was really something back then.
  • Swimming at the lake. She was always up for a dip. Just don’t splash her hair! How lucky we all were to have the cool Granny who swims with the kids.
  • Playtime – Granny loved my imaginary games I played during my many visits. She was so cool at acting out whatever I had going on. She could be the bank teller, office worker, restaurant customer, whatever I needed; she was in and happy to play along. No matter how busy she was or how many things she needed to get done in a day, she had time to play with me.
  • Board games and cards. It is almost like “enough said” on this one because we all have our own memories of playing games with Granny. She loved it so much when she could get a game going. She taught us all so many games over the years. Starting with Candy Land and working our way up to Hand and Foot, we were all so blessed to sit at her joyful tables of games.
  • Entertaining – I had so many fun childhood memories helping Granny with her parties and potlucks with all her various friends when they lived out in the country. She loved entertaining and she was so good at it. People were thrilled to be her guest. I loved the square dance potlucks the most! To see her sparkle and delight her friends was truly something to behold. It never seemed like I was the tag along kid, I felt like the luckiest guest. She always created the environment that allowed me to be embraced by all who loved her so. She shared the love so graciously.
  • Open house – her house was always open to whoever wanted to visit her and over the years and in various stages of life, she was never ever short on visitors. It was fun to see people so excited to see her and so happy to be in her presence. So much fun was always had by all! That open heart of hers kept her house open and full. She loved it!
  • Reading time – Granny loved to read. When we would settle down together in the afternoons to read a bit and take a break before preparing dinner, it felt like absolute peace and joy mixed into one. This tradition is something that I have carried on with my children. We settle down and read together each day and it feels like heaven.
  • Everything was fun with Granny; even watering the trees…I could go on and on about so many fun things here and no words I could ever choose would do the memories justice.
  • These memories I have shared are my own, but they are mixed with the love and laughter she shared with all of her grandchildren, loved ones and friends. They belong to us all.
  • Thank you so much dear Gran. I hope I can remember to laugh as much as you in the remainder of my days. Thank you for showing me how!  My husband says I am much more pleasant when I laugh, so here’s hoping it works.

Almost done….hang in there with me.

As I mentioned, I have been on a bit of a spiritual journey for years now, listening to great teachers and reading everything I can get my hands on hoping to take steps toward the best version of myself. I quickly realized along the way how hard it is to truly Live all that you know and learn through even the greatest wisdom out there. Knowing things and living them are two completely different things. Granny lived what she knew. Sometime within the last year, my Mom and Granny shared with me that Granny too had read a book in her twenties that had changed the course of her life. That book was called, The Power of Positive Thinking. My mom recalled her reading it and sharing it with many. Granny lit up at the memory of the book and the opportunity to tell me about it. I smiled at the news. It all made perfect sense. That is so Granny to read one book on the secret to a happy life and then to live it so completely for the rest of hers. She showed us all how it is done so very graciously and with such beauty of spirit and heart.

We have quite a task ahead of us as we learn how to get along without Granny’s form and embrace living with her spirit. We can do it well for her and because of her. We can honor her life by making some of the great choices she made and looking at life and all its circumstances the way she always did. Remembering Granny’s joy, wisdom and positivity can help us choose to be happy and help us to choose it again and again each and every day.

To everyone here – thank you for receiving Granny’s love and loving her back so abundantly – I am sure it was a comfort to her to be so loved by you all. I am sure your love for her confirmed that her approach to Life had been a good one. I love you Gran. I’ll see you and be with you everywhere I go.

——————– end of speech.

I am reading that book Granny loved in her twenties now.  As I mentioned, it is called The Power of Positive Thinking.  It is an absolute blessing to me at this time.  I am so grateful to share the experience of reading it with her now.  I am sure I will share many miracles from it here with you soon.  We live in a miraculous Universe.  There are blessings all around us.

Wishing you the courage to love with your whole open heart!  Sending you joy and love today and always!

7 Comments
June 20, 2014

I Am My Breath

Smile, breathe and go slowly. ~Thích Nhất Hạnh

Breathing is the greatest pleasure in life. ~Giovanni Papini

Good morning!  Today I wake up feeling utterly blessed and grateful.  There are infinite things to be grateful for in Life, but today, and I sincerely hope, for each and every day for the rest of my days, I am in awe and complete wonder of my breath and it fills me with absolute joy.  As always, I have been trying to stay more present, feel more of my moments and live more of my life through all that I have learned.  Lately, something has clicked with my breathing; of course, it was right there under my nose all the time :-).  For quite some time, I have known the power of adding more breath, taking a deep breath before reacting, focusing on the breath during meditation, etc., but something even more profound has taken hold for me lately.  Perhaps the practice of it, reading about it, writing about it, etc. has finally allowed the path for me to live it more consciously and consistently.  The idea that the path to live what I know has presented itself makes me smile in peace.

As I shared previously, I have been exhausted lately and my body has been in a bit of a broken down state.  I knew relief would come and that all would be and already was well.  I was able to feel peaceful even in the midst of my worn out state.  I was allowing my circumstances to be as they were and see what Life was trying to show me.  That felt like progress to me for sure, considering that I used to only feel “happy” if I was doing everything “well.”  That path leads to a lot of stress, pressure and wasted moments trying to arrange things on the outside in order to feel good on the inside — a never-ending circle that doesn’t allow the true joy that lives inside us all to come forth.  In my allowing things to be as they were recently, I noticed my breath silencing my thoughts often throughout the day.  I noticed that I was, in fact, leaning back and allowing my breath to ease everything that wanted to bring anxiety or tighten my grip on life.  My breath was the gateway to joy and the force that was grounding me deeply in the true gift found in every present moment.

After a few days of truly enjoying the breath that was at the forefront of my interactions, the thought popped into my head, “I Am my breath.”  I heard it and I felt it deeply.  I smiled.  My daughter appeared by my side to tell me something and I noticed my breath as I enjoyed her lovely soul face and heard her sweet voice more clearly.  My breath allowed me to truly be there so much more fully.  I Am my breath much more than I am my body or my choices or my reactions.  My breath feels good, no matter what and it allows me to BE my true self.  It helps me choose well, speak kindly and Love deeply.  Our breath animates this form we have.  We are more our breath than any other thought, action, reaction or emotion we could ever have or feel.  Our breath is more of our essential self than we can ever know.  Someday, when our breath leaves, we will go with it.  We can live with our breath more fully now and bring joy to everything around us.  The deep pleasure that comes from our breath is truly amazing.  There really aren’t the proper words to describe it.  Just breathe and you can feel it.

Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor. ~Thích Nhất Hạnh

What we call ’I’ is just a swinging door, which moves when we inhale and when we exhale. ~Shunryu Suzuki

Today, I am wishing you the joy of realizing the pleasure, peace and astounding gift of your breath.  Sending you joy and love!

 

6 Comments
May 1, 2014

The Frequency of Love

Love will immediately enter into any mind that truly wants it.
(p. 55) —A Course In Miracles

We pick our vibrational frequency.  We decide what we see when we look, what we feel as we experience and what we hear as Life is speaking to us.  We choose our vibration we send out into the world and we pick what vibrational frequency we will receive back.  The only true frequency is the vibrational frequency of Love.  All the rest is noise and reactionary fear-based emotions.  It’s like the fuzzy sound on an old radio as you try to tune into your desired channel.  Love is the desired channel.  All the rest is fuzzy noise, it’s not real.  It’s nothing.  Nothing happened.  Once we can break free from reactions and fear, we can raise our energy vibration and watch it go out before us to transform all that is around us.  We are no longer at the mercy of what levels everyone else is vibrating at.  We can use our energy wisely and bring more love into every encounter, thought or action.

An interesting thing about Love — you cannot feel it from outside yourself, no matter how much is coming your way.  Love comes from within.  We cannot experience it outside of us without generating it and sharing it from within.  No matter how someone else loves us, we cannot feel it until we have experienced the love within.  This is how loneliness is possible.  Loneliness is simply the outcome of not generating the love within; it is turning away from the source within and instead trying to find it outside of ourselves.  Love cannot be found outside of us, only within.  Love is our true essence, it is what we are.  Once we can dwell in the frequency of love, we can no longer experience loneliness because we are never without the source of Love within.

Feeling lonely can be a blessing.  It can make us figure out what we have within.  We must feel it and figure out what it is telling us.  If we run from it, it will only worsen.  From the time I was a small child I had what felt like a deep sadness and the only way I could explain it was to call it “the lonely feeling.”  I was tortured by my loneliness and I found it so very difficult to understand at a young age.  I was often surrounded by people who loved me when I was feeling it and it felt like the worst feeling in the world.  To be lonely in the company of others is deadening.  It felt like an overwhelming urge to cry without a known reason why.  Now, I am so grateful I suffered with these feelings because that suffering brought me to seeking for meaning at an early age.  It also brought me to make many mistakes along the way as I tried to ease my loneliness.  Lucky for me, I believe that sometimes mistakes are simply shortcuts to figuring out what we need to learn.  I learned a lot throughout the years, sometimes repeating mistakes and sometimes hearing the messages.  This lonely feeling continued to be my background hole I would sink into in tough times.  Until I was able to understand that it was me choosing and creating it, it plagued me.

Life has been teaching me to turn towards Love and away from the lonely feeling over the years.  Life has shown me that the Love I can turn to is actually the real me.  Life has shown me that I Am much more than I ever dreamed possible and so is everyone else.  Life has shown me that I can’t make that choice for others, they must generate their love from within as well; that way they can meet their real selves. God/Universe designed the perfect love curriculum for us!

There are many types of love.  People like to label the different versions.  I am not really interested in labeling love anymore.  I just want to dwell in it and use my energy to help others do the same.  The key to using  your love energy well is to expect it to work.  We must expect it to go out before us and surround us.  We must be centered, calm, still and sure of our intentions.  We must stay in the frequency of who we are and not sway into reactions over our outer circumstances.  We must expect that we can dwell in love and act from love at all times.  When we feel drained, we must learn to replenish and get back into the frequency of love right away.  We don’t need to waste any more time in the fuzzy noise of life.  Let’s Love.  Let’s Live.

Accessing Love Ideas:

Look deeply in the face of another.
Watch a child play.
Look at flowers in stillness.
Stand by a tree and feel its energy.
Help someone.
Share.
Smile.

Wishing you joy, smiles, laughter and Love for all.  Be you!  Be Love!

13 Comments
April 16, 2014

Knowing vs. Living

To know God
without being God-like
is like trying to swim
without entering water.
—Orest Bedrij

Life is speaking to each of us in a specific way that is perfectly designed so we can hear and understand.  Life chooses the language of experience that will speak to our hearts and bring us toward our truest self as we remember what we are here to do.  Being “God-like” means different things for each one of us and only we know if we are following what it means for us.  Sometimes we may follow easily and stay grounded in the synchronisities of Life’s messages and sometimes we let fear creep in and lead us to distracted meaninglessness or ego based swirling which can only bring suffering.  All of my writing here is my living prayer to live what I know and continue to expand what that means as I strive to help others feel inspired to hear the voice inside them that wants to learn, grow and live what they come to know as well.  We know what we know for a reason and we must follow it home to our God-like selves.  We all have that little spark of God inside us that wants to grow and experience Life.  Living what we know is the way home.

When we can live what we know, our knowing brings us to a peaceful existence.  Knowing without living what we know becomes a burden until we can actually live it.  We each have our own knowing as we navigate what life is showing and saying to us.  No experience is wasted and we are always learning and being shown what we are meant to know and live.  I have experienced the way Life is patient with us for a while as we listen and learn and then Life gives us more and more nudges to move us along towards living more authentically.  The patience life shows us can sometimes wane and the messages can accelerate and become louder and our circumstances more uncomfortable or whatever is necessary to keep us open to evolving as we are meant to.  In some cases, we are too afraid to listen and grow, so life can send us a blow.  I believe that we all know different things and we each find meaning in the perfect things to develop our specific Life path.  There are many different paths to the same essential truths found along all of them.

We all know a lot.  Life has shown us a lot.  Whatever you have read, heard, felt, experienced or seen lately is part of Life speaking to you.  Will you hear it?  Will it change you?  Can you enter the water and swim?  You can!  We all can.  We must.  If we continue to be shown things and do not find ways to live them, Life will turn up the volume on the messages.  We can choose to listen to the whisper that feels like a Universe Hug or we can wait for the nudges, shouts and blows.  Life isn’t trying to annoy us, it’s trying to wake us up.  Let’s wake up with hugs!  We can listen.  We can know.  We can grow and live what we know.

As we set our intentions to live all that we know, Life shows up and gives us the tools that will help us on our path.  We are never without the tools.  We may set them aside for a bit and forget to use them, but they are always available when we are ready to pick them up and use them to stay on the path.  Today, let’s think about what tools we use and let’s commit to using them to help us become more God-like.  My tools are reading, writing, meditation, prayer, compassion, proper nutrition, exercise and connected conversations.  If I focus on these things rather than other distracted fear based habits, peace is more readily available.  Sometimes I can do these things well and sometimes I am over-scheduled, busy and tired and some of these things fall off.  We all have our own set of tools that have brought us closer to our God-like selves.  They are different for each of us.  Some people may find God in singing, dancing or painting.  Our tools are not to feel guilty about when we forget to use them, they are simply to remember and pick up to bring peace again.  Our tools lead to presence, peace and consciousness.  Ultimately, they lead to Love.  Love is always the answer.  Today I pray to remember to use my tools that lead me to Love for All.  That is what God-like means to me — Love For All.  Love is All.  God is All.  You are All.  I Am All.

Thought for the day — If it doesn’t make you feel good, it isn’t love.  If it isn’t Love, it isn’t real.  The real you can replace any thought or feeling that doesn’t feel good with one that comes from Love.  You have an infinite amount of love inside you.  Love is the only real thing.  Don’t try to push unpleasant thoughts away, they will only grow, just turn towards Love and replace the thoughts and feelings with Love and Compassion.  You pick what you give your attention to, find a Loving thought to replace the unpleasant one and you are on your way.  You pick.  You will amaze yourself at the amount of Love the real you is capable of.  If you are reading this, you are ready to live this.  The Universe sent it to you.  Thank you for reading this!

Sending you Love and wishing you Joy!

8 Comments
April 9, 2014

Resistance

Somewhere along the path, we come to the moment.  We realize that life can only be lived in the exact moment we are in.  We figure out that our head is full of chattering nonsense that distracts us from the moment and we embark on the work of clearing the mind and embracing the moment.  We want to wake up.  There are many paths and many wonderful souls to help us see our path and live our moments fully.  We only need to listen and we are on our way.  As we begin clearing the field of the mind, we realize right away that we must hack away at the thoughts of the past and all our reactions to it.  Then, it is clear that we must chop down the thoughts about future worry.  All this makes perfect sense.  Get rid of past and future thoughts to clear the mind and come fully into the moment.  Of course in the case of the mind, one cannot simply plow the field, we dance with the mind and attempt various ways of allowing the thoughts to pass through until they barely get our attention anymore.  We don’t try to get rid of the thoughts, that would only make them bigger, we simply learn to put our attention elsewhere.  We learn to awaken to alert presence and reserve our attention for the thoughts that come from our higher selves and actually mean something.  That all makes perfect sense and will keep us busy for as long as it takes, but it is not the whole picture.  Accessing the moment is made up of much more.  Next up, resistance.  It comes in many forms and we must learn what it does to the moment in both subtle and obvious ways.

It is easy to “be in the moment” when things are going our way or we like the circumstances.  What happens when it is all going “wrong”?  As soon as we are resisting anything the present moment has to offer, we have slipped back into sleep.  Our mind will become busy wishing things were different or planning ways to make change.  We must embrace whatever the moment brings.  We won’t lose our way or become numb to life.  Life will show us how to flow and live in a much more alert and awakened state.  We will be one with life.  For me, learning about perception has helped a lot.  We must be willing to look at all our programmed perceptions on life.  We must open to the idea that we really don’t know what is good or bad.  We can evolve out of labeling everything and arranging things to fit into one category or another.  Watching our resistance to things and letting go of our attachments to what “should” be is a wonderful practice.  Not and easy one.  But, a wonderful one.  Peace replaces resistance, one moment at a time.

“To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them – while they last. All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.”  ― Eckhart Tolle

These are wonderfully comforting words from Eckhart Tolle.  Also ambitious.  We can do it!  It’s not too ambitious if it is grounded in letting go and letting life live us.  We can set our intentions to observe and allow resistance to pass through or to teach us something.  Let’s look at a few forms of resistance and its antidotes.

General Resistance – When we first begin watching our resistance to things in the moment, it may be surprising how much we resist one thing or another.  We have a lot of ideas about good/bad and right/wrong.  We spend a lot of wasted energy resisting what already is and wishing for something else.  We live in distraction rather than actually living what the moment is trying to show us.  We must be willing to accept that we don’t really know what is ultimately good/bad or right/wrong.  We don’t have to roll over and accept everything, but we must really look at what is just a programmed reaction and what really deserves our energy and attention.  It is exhausting to label everything and try to make it all go our way.  Our resistance plays a part in this.  Acceptance doesn’t bring more of what we think we don’t want, it actually opens up a place to receive more or what we are meant to have.  We can know we are meant to experience certain things because we already are experiencing them; we don’t have to wonder if this experience is meant for us because it is already happening.  With acceptance of what already is, no experience is wasted.  It is a delicate dance.  As we let go of all the little resistances we have in general, we can flow more deeply with our true being that allows us to know when something really is or is not right for us.  Our general resistance to life can dissolve and then we can learn to trust true resistance in a more meaningful way.

Subtle Resistance – I noticed this one more recently.  As our awareness of resistance helps us release it along the way, we can get better at accepting things and letting go of our resistance habits.  Even just acknowledging that we are resisting is helpful in the process and will move us along in our practice.  Then, we can hopefully open our eyes wider and see the ripples of resistance that are still playing a part in our interactions with life.  Sometimes we have this little voice that continues to subtly resist things as we go along.  A little nagging thing that says, “that is not right” or “that won’t happen to me” or “I can’t believe they did that.”  One particular example springs to mind where I noticed my subtle resistance ripples.  Many parents of older children seem to love to compliment my children on their choices/manners/habits and then proceed to tell me, “Just wait until they are older….” and then describe how horrible they will inevitably be when they become teenagers.  I noticed myself having this little, “that won’t be us” reaction inside.  Silly to give my energy towards resisting what someone else is experiencing or sharing.  Who knows what will happen when my kids are older?  Why give my energy and peaceful power away in the moment of someone else describing their situation?  Resistance shows up in many subtle ways.  After I noticed this particular recurring one, I consciously made an effort to allow people’s comments to just flow through me.  I chose to truly be there to really hear them and listen with my heart about their situation rather than making it about me and what may or may not happen to my family.  I can have an open heart rather than a reaction full of resistance.  It is helpful to notice even the subtle ripple of this waste of time and energy response called resistance.  We all have these subtle resistance patters happening to show us how to grow further into detachment and acceptance of all that is.

Providing Resistance – You know the saying, “Whatever you resist persists.”  Well, it’s true.  No exception.  If you are resisting something in any situation, it grows in power and presses harder.  You literally give the thing you are resisting something to butt up against and push on.  If you let things pass through  you and have detached acceptance working for you then things can flow through.  Parenting offers a lot of opportunities to practice this one.  It is always interesting to balance when to let things be and when to step in and handle the thing I think I can’t allow or tolerate.  I have seen the magic of not providing that resistance anymore and the situation completely diffusing itself.  All of our relationships allow places to practice no longer providing that resistance.  Life opens up for us when we no longer resist it.

Avoidance and Numbing Resistance – Sometimes we just don’t want to feel something, don’t want to face something and/or don’t want to deal with something.  We use all kinds of distraction methods to avoid actually experiencing the things we are meant to.  If we are honest with ourselves, we know what methods we are using and we can see how it would feel to just drop the distractions and experience what is waiting for us in the magic of the moment.  Maybe we don’t need the television on, maybe we don’t need to surf the internet or waste time on our smart phones, maybe we don’t need that cocktail to relax us, maybe we’re not really hungry and don’t need that snack, maybe we don’t need all those busy plans that keep us from going deeper inside to open to more of life.  We know when we are avoiding and numbing out rather than pushing through and fearlessly experiencing life found in the precious present moment.  The moment is Life.  We can handle whatever form it comes in by grounding ourselves in the moment rather than in distraction and avoidance.

Past and Future Resistance – Often, we see someone or experience something through the veil of the past or worry about the future.  We may see someone we have not had a “good” experience with in the past, and we only interact with them from the perception of the past.  The person in front of us is completely different from the last time we saw them and so are we.  If we remain stuck in past experience of them, we are not in the moment and we are using past experiences to resist what may be available to us in the present moment.  Instead of living with an open heart in the moment, we are closing the door to the experience that was meant for us.  The encounter with the very same person may be quite lovely if we can see them with fresh loving eyes that have only the present moment in mind.  The same thing goes for future worry.  We may be resisting what is happening in the moment because we fear what it will cause in the future.  But, we are not really experiencing the moment if we are caught up in the future.  We must stay right where we are at and allow all that is meant to happen in the exact moment we are in.  The “future” will only come in the form of another moment.  We can handle all of them as they come.

Creative Resistance – As we continue our practice of letting go of our resistance to life and opening up to the moment, we can observe and understand our resistance in a more meaningful way.  We are all here to do something and we are all co-creators in this life.  The more we get in touch with our truest purpose, the more we must be willing to push through our resistance.  We are sure to encounter much resistance as we approach that which we are meant to do.  The stakes get higher and fear can take a stronger hold on us as we muster our courage to try.  Here are a few favorite quotes on this type of resistance.

“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” ― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles

Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.” ― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles

There is only ever love or fear.  Resistance is just another form of fear.  Sometimes it’s just general stuff from programmed labels we resist, sometimes subtle ripples persist as we learn to gain more presence, sometimes we let resistance nurture bad habits and sometimes we listen to resistance and realize it is the strongest around things we are truly meant to do.  As we become better masters of our own various types of resistance, we will be able to let the waves of fear pass through and turn to love and even push through the important resistance that came to show us we are on the right track.  We can listen to the fear and resistance and act from our soul to overcome and pass through to our life’s purpose.  We can live each moment in love.

Wishing us all the courage and wisdom to listen to life and let go of resistance.  Wishing us the ability to know when to let resistance pass through without giving it our attention and when we should take note and push through it to our higher calling.  There is so much waiting for us in the moment.  Learning to listen and open with acceptance of with already is is a great way to open the door to the life we are meant to have with all the love we are meant to feel.

Sending you love and joy!

8 Comments
March 6, 2014

Living The Questions of Your Life

‘Instead of asking, “What do I want from life?”, a more powerful question is, “What does life want from me?’ —Eckhart Tolle

It is a miracle to be here.  We are all here to do something.  We are all shaped by our experiences.  Every experience is meaningful.  We become who we are meant to be so we may bring what we are meant to bring to this world.  We are connected to Everything; there is no-one and no-thing we are not connected to.  Our choices, intentions, interactions and energies ripple out to others and come back to us.  Once we are aware of all this happening, synchronicities abound that connect us to more of ourselves while enhancing others’ ability to do the same.  The Universe/God works perfectly in assisting all of this, but once we are aware of it, we co-create with Life.  This all happens, not by figuring out the answers to life, but by asking and living the right questions.  We all have specific questions we are working with at any given time to assist us along the way.

To live a question, we must acknowledge and accept that we don’t know the answer.  We are then in the unknown.  The unknown is where we can experience more of life.  We must open to the present and live each experience fully to get from it what we are meant to.  In this way, we embrace the art of not labeling situations and accepting that all things are unfolding as they should no matter what the details appear to be.  We widen our perspective.  We no longer need to declare if things are good or bad.  We just flow with the circumstances and try to hear what life is saying to us and what question it is presenting for us.  We let go of seeking the answers as we flow with the questions.  Seeking answers requires future and creates the illusion that we will be somehow better or more complete once we have them.  This can only create suffering as we long for a moment other than the one we are in.  We receive only the answers we are ready for and they change over time and circumstance.  The Divine joy and love is in the questions and allowing them to flow through you at the perfect time for you.

Once we know how to live the questions, we can dwell in peace that has tinges of fearless excitement within.  We won’t sit idly by and simply watch everything, we will live authentically with clarity and purpose as we ground our actions in our true essence.  Life will show us how to do this if we can only listen.

Watch the synchronicity in your life.  Watch the dots connect.  Notice what you are meant to receive from each person you come into contact with.  Notice what you can give back in return.  Be with nature in a way that fills your energy to assist your higher frequency vibration.  Watch your conversations.  Notice the books that appear at just the right time.  Notice Divine energy assisting you.  Be kind to yourself.  Forget trying to know and embrace living the unknown.  See the beauty all around.  BE nature instead of in nature.  Listen with all your heart.  You can function this way always, you don’t have to return to surviving and struggling all the time.  Peace can envelope you as you live your questions and evolve to the next, never rushing or resisting, just living in the present.

Lean back and look at the whole of your life.  See how it has all connected in meaningful ways to shape you into who you are now.  See all the ways that Life has provided for you.  Let that feeling embrace you.  I call it a Universe hug and I believe that the more you can feel those hugs, the more frequently you receive them.  We all need hugs.  Feel that hug from the Universe and love and embrace who you are now without judging how you got here or where you should be instead.  Just love you now and connect to everything around you as you expand and fill up with peace.

Living the unknown and loving the questions, the “little me” in us quiets down and the larger “I” that is connected to all things Lives.  It is a Divine paradox to realize that the only true knowing is found in living peacefully in the Unknown.  The question IS the knowing.  Living the question is living what you know.

Today I pray to be still and live the question of my heart.  I pray to gratefully and peacefully abide in the joy of connectedness to All.  I pray to remember this message as I live the moments of my day.

I am sending you love!  May you hear your question and feel the joy of living authentically with it.

12 Comments
January 26, 2014

Words

Words have always meant a lot to me.  They are much more than just communication tools; when treated with honor and respect, they become much more.  The words we string together to express ourselves and the ones we choose to give our attention to as we gather information make up the fabric of who we are.  Words are our bridge to the soul.  They come from somewhere else, they come through us and they can reach out to another and bring them to us.  They can be used well and allow us to be more of ourselves and they can be mistreated and keep us stuck in destructive patterns that take us off our true path.  Words are the dots and our job in life is to get better and better at connecting the dots.

Words are always working with us; our relationship with them is how we grow and change.  I have seen my relationship with words evolve drastically over time and I can feel the pull to a deeper connection with them now.  Ever a crafty communicator, I remember in my younger years using my words carelessly at times.  I was a bit of a people pleaser and could easily tell people what they wanted to hear or say things that might make people more comfortable, etc.  During adolescence, honesty wasn’t really at the tip-top of my list either, words were more of a navigation tool to try to get what I wanted or seem like something I was trying to be.  All these things were part of a natural progression through awkward years I suppose.  I am so grateful to have passed through that time and to have it to look back on now to know the difference.  I now know that compromising my own truth and absolute honesty is like cutting myself off from life and love and completely unnecessary in any and every situation.  I can still make others feel comfortable, but compromising my words or using them carelessly is never ever part of that anymore.

Words have been everything to me on my path.  I have watched them connect to each other to lead me to the next book, the next conversation, the next experience, the next challenge, life lesson, goal, etc… They have guided me, comforted me, confronted me, pushed me, loved me and helped me put pieces of my soul together as I journey toward aligning my personality with my soul to live in authenticity.  They whisper and shout, they figure out how we hear them best and they never stop trying to get our attention, wake us up, lead us where we are meant to go to show up as exactly who we are and with what we are meant to bring to this world.  Words are everywhere and they reach us through the perfect means for us…Life sends us a book, someone says something to us, a poem touches us, a loved one shares with us, we see a sign, watch a movie, receive a letter, hear them in silence, hear ourselves say them aloud, we spontaneously feel something deeply and try to put it into words…they are everywhere.

The first of the four agreements in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements is — Be Impeccable With Your Word.  He calls this agreement the most important and he is so right.  This may seem straightforward and easily obvious at first, but it is much more than just telling the truth.  It means really honoring your word and truly expressing your intentions and fullest expression of yourself in every situation and every moment.  It means knowing that the words come from the source that creates your life.  As you use your words, you create your life.  Your inner peace is directly tied to how you are using your words in your life.  By saying exactly what you mean, meaning what you say,  using your words wisely and carefully towards and about others, selecting carefully which words you give your attention to, setting your intention clearly in all you do, not making compromises with your words to please others or make them more comfortable, etc., you bring honor to all the words in life and they start speaking to you more clearly.  When you can hear the words more clearly, you can live more deeply…you can tap into the flow of Life.

I have never ever been accused of being a woman of few words.  In fact, sometimes here in my writing I try to keep it short and sweet and it just doesn’t work for me.  It doesn’t come naturally.  I have always been pretty good at explaining things and communicating somewhat effectively, but doing so in just a few words has never been my strong point.  I have been through many phases with words in my life and I feel myself entering a new phase with them in my daily life now…I deeply desire uttering less of them.  It feels a bit strange for someone who thrives on good conversation and cherishes words so very much, but it is definitely what I am feeling drawn to.  Here are some possible reasons saying fewer words may be so appealing to me at this point:

  • Perhaps I am getting more words out in my writing and I feel less of a need for over-communicating as my soul takes comfort in having expressed what is most meaningful to me.  (It truly is a comfort to have somewhere to express all of these things!)
  • Perhaps I finally understand how many of the words we utter are wasted on labeling things and judging situations, which takes us from the joy of living.
  • Perhaps the prayer and meditation I am attempting to get better at is seeping into my daily life and calling to me there.
  • Perhaps my great love and deep gratitude for words and all they have done for me has made me want to honor them more.  I do love words!
  • Perhaps, it’s because I am a sometimes tired Mommy who finds herself repeating the same things over and over and over again to the little ones, and I’m just tired of hearing myself.
  • Perhaps I am ready to give my energy towards being instead of saying.
  • Perhaps I have learned from the great sages that much wisdom can be said with very little to no words.
  • Perhaps I have figured out that the joy lies in stillness which can easily be covered over with unnecessary distractions and interruptions and I am finding more ways to live in the joy of the actual moment rather than talking about another moment.
  • Perhaps my being is growing and knows that it is okay to set the personality aside.
  • Perhaps I’m frustrated and wish I could live all that I know more and feel like quieting down to do it better and more consistently…
  • Perhaps its just human nature and we evolve toward it naturally… my beautiful Granny doesn’t say a whole lot, but when she does, its worth hearing.  She says a lot more with her lovely spirit, always positive attitude and loving demeanor.  Just to sit in her company is like having a great conversation.

Who knows why I want to say fewer words at this point in life…maybe it is a bit of all of these things.  I just feel like saying fewer words as I honor each one of them more.  As I try to listen and honor what I am feeling, its been a bit of a struggle so far…those around me seem to be used to me saying a lot…so they aren’t quite comfortable with it yet.  Or, maybe its me who is adjusting to more quiet and letting things be as I allow more stillness and try to quiet the noise.  It feels exhausting and disappointing when I revert back to too many words as I break this habit…it will come though I am sure.  It’s a work in progress.  I’ll keep you posted.  It is a nice calming shift when I can do it and I am grateful for it…it has been interesting to feel the work of words inside me and to watch the relationship with words evolve.  Love is always the answer I am sure…I can love myself and those around me through the process of growth and change.  Love is.

Wishing us all the courage and wisdom to really look at what we are saying, how we are listening, what we are reading, watching, thinking, allowing in and sharing with others.  Wishing us the joy of deep listening and the miracle of connecting the little dots called words.

Sending you joy and love (and lots of words) today and always!

5 Comments
January 15, 2014

You Are Already There

Time is a bully!  Let’s stand up to it!

In our culture, our days are split into segments of time and our moments are given varying degrees of importance.  It is kind of crazy how we have allowed time to push us around.  We watch the clock, waiting for things to happen…”When will they arrive?”, What time do we need to be there?”, “When should we get ready?”, “How long will the drive take?”,  “When will this line get moving?”, “I can’t wait until…”, “I will be so happy when…”, etc.  We constantly think the next thing is what we are waiting for.  The truth is, we are already there; but, unless we can really feel that, we stay stuck in the world of being pushed around and bullied by time.

We are all at our own perfect place on our path toward self-realization and awareness.  We each have varying degrees of presence we are able to access throughout the day.  No matter where you are on your path, you can observe how you are treating the moments in your life and find ways to honor them and experience them more fully.  Are you using parts of the day that are your least favorite or that you dread as a means to an end?  Do you rush through things to get to the next?  Do you allow yourself to feel that things will be better when this chore or task is complete?  Is there constantly some future moment that seems like it will be a better one that will bring you happiness?  Is there some change that would make things much better?  Are you distracting yourself from your real life?  Are you truly present to the Life you already are (we don’t have life, we are Life)?

Many people live in the state of waiting for the next thing much of the time and don’t even know that they are not present in their life and much of their experiences are passing them by.  It is like sleep-walking without knowing it.  Your real life is there waiting for you to join in and you’re busy wishing something else was happening and resisting what already is.  Our life is made up of a bunch of moments and the one we are in is the only one we can ever actually live; life only comes in the form of now.  This crazy relationship we have developed with time is truly a dreadful way to live and sure to bring suffering as we dwell in resisting what is.  If we have a certain number of moments while here on Earth in this form, why should standing in line at the pharmacy be any less meaningful and present than attending a party or celebration?  Why is the drive to the event something to hurry and get over with?  How do we treat any moment as something to throw away?  We don’t have to; we can treat all of our moments the same and enjoy Life the way we are meant to.

Here are a few ideas that may help us do this no matter where we are on our path; they should apply in every situation (easy to say, harder to actually do…wishing us all the ability to live these things…with practice, we can do it!):

  • Accept Everything – Yesterday, for example, I woke up with excruciating back pain that was making it hard to breathe and a sore throat that felt like swallowing cement.  As I groaned in pain at every move I made, I also felt this wonderful sense of peace in the background.  I knew I had all these reasons mounting that would prevent me from doing what I needed to do for the day (or thought I needed to do)…but it really didn’t matter.  It slowed my day down and gave me many joyous moments I may not have experienced otherwise.  I resisted nothing, adjusted with the details, and in doing so, my throat pain eased up and my back improved dramatically.  I had a really peaceful day filled with a lot of sweet moments (even the kids and I cleaning up our third plumbing issue in the past few weeks…we just made it fun).  I could have resisted and been frustrated and stayed in all kinds of pain and misery, but in going with the flow, I accessed my inner peace and it was quite lovely.  I know from past experience that resistance and worry over things helps them hang around longer.  My day didn’t improve because I started feeling better…I was already there in the peace found in the moment and the details came to match the real me…rather than me allowing my circumstances to pretend to be me.  The truth is that everything happens as it should and everything passes.  So, why resist anything?  Just accept it all.  Sometimes we face little things like the examples above and sometimes we must face major difficulties and tragedies…practicing on the little things will help us when things really get tough.  Accepting every little thing as if you chose it will prepare you for anything and lead you to true inner peace that won’t depend on your outer circumstances.
  • Label Nothing – Part of accepting everything is learning to label nothing.  We have a tendency to label every single thing that happens as good or bad.  Truth is, we don’t really know which it is and we’re just guessing or reliving past experiences and assuming they will be the same…the experience is really neither good, nor bad, it just is.  By not labeling, we don’t have to draw on the past or take ourselves to the future to project how it will work out.  We get to truly experience each thing and each moment and use the energy we would have wasted on labeling it for actually living it.  We open ourselves up to all that Life is and expand to more of ourselves and the world around us.  We truly grow.
  • Get Comfortable With Not Knowing – If we already know how this is going to go, then we aren’t really present to it.  If we are playing things out in our minds by reliving things and projecting futures that may never happen, we aren’t there, we’re lost in some other experience.  Not knowing means we really open up our senses and awareness and see what happens.  It is magical.  I actually think this is an entire post on its own, so I will try to keep this short.  The not knowing is so much better than the knowing…it is amazing.  You know how the more you learn, the more you realize that you have so much more to learn…well, it’s kind of like that.  It’s like, the more you don’t already know, the more you have to live.  I love it!
  • Slow Down – Just try it.  Nothing bad will happen, you can add more space around things, take more breaths before you talk, more quiet before you react, more opportunities to just be.  You can build your life to support slowing down, even in today’s world.  You can choose your pace and make it stick.  You can make little choices and little changes slowly that point you in the direction of taking all the time you need to enjoy all the life you are.  You can do it!  On time is when you get there because you are already there.
  • Ritual – Anything can be a ritual.  We recently started a tea-time ritual at our home.  It’s a work in progress, but we’re trying to have a midpoint in the day that reminds us to slow down and enjoy where we are.  We are assigning duties to each family member to put it together and we are formally sitting down to sip tea, talk, enjoy silence together and eat our crudités, fruit and tea cookies in presence.  As we prepare it, enjoy it and clean it up, we can bring honor to it by making it a true ritual.  This ritual is a new one we are adding midday, we have our morning meditation and prayer, then we have poetry at night.  This added reminder in the middle of the day is quite helpful.  You could pick anything and make it a ritual worth honoring and as a tool to bring more presence into your life.  We recently added meditation bracelets to our morning practice; we put them on to remember the peace we felt on our mat and bring it to whatever moment we are in throughout the day.  Pick anything and make it sacred…even sorting the laundry, sweeping the floor or brushing your teeth…it really can be done.  Taking the time to honor things and make them sacred is so healing and can add so much peace to your life.
  • Listen — To everything and everyone.  Rush no person and no experience.  We are not in this world, we are of this world…everything is speaking to us and telling us something.  Manage your relationship with time so that you can hear Everything.
  • Love — Just had to put it here because it is always the answer and of course, all we ever need.  Spread it and receive it well.

These are just a few ideas to help us stand up to time.  Your soul already knows which ones will help you most; sometimes we just need the reminder that the time to do it is now.  Now is all there ever is.  Wishing you presence, peace and freedom found in timelessness. Sending you love and joy today and always!

7 Comments
January 10, 2014

Becoming The Ocean

If you don’t become the ocean, you’ll be seasick every day.  –Leonard Cohen

This quote is such a great realization.  I came across it in my reading this week and it put all I was feeling into clear, loving and true perspective.  To live on the surface of life, where we allow our inner state to depend on our outer circumstances is rocky, stormy and sickening.  It does feel like navigating during fluctuating storms that just keep rolling in.  It is possible to live from down deep in calm waters and to be fluid as we flow through life with the understanding that the moment is all we have and things are happening just as they should.  How do we do it?  We use every experience we encounter to build more presence in us, to ground us in our true essence of love and connectedness to all things…which can only be found in the present moment.

As we grow our presence and ability to live from the quiet place inside us, we still have to navigate the circumstances and people around us.  As we get better at this, the opportunities to practice it seem to mount.  We all have loved ones we hold dear and often those very relationships are the ones that allow us to grow the most.  I spend a lot of time with my two precious little ones.  They bring so much joy, laughter and moments of love, but, they also bring many many opportunities to practice all of the things I have learned about presence and consciousness.  If I didn’t have the day-to-day challenges with the kids, I would probably have myself convinced that I have evolved to a much higher level of consciousness.  I have little encounters with them all the time that remind me of what I can work on and just where I am at.  It is a gift to have these two to work with as I try to stay in the deep waters for longer periods of time and teach them to do the same.

Here’s the thing, the kids are constantly trying to pull me into feeling whatever they are feeling and as they grow and encounter new challenges and responsibilities, their emotions are all over the place.  Sometimes it feels like living with little emotional bandits, taking me on a ride over getting their jacket, tackling a math problem, clearing the table or tying their shoes, etc.  They are little, vulnerable and highly identified with me.  If they are stressed or upset about something, they want me in the same state.  I think they feel that if I am feeling the same stress, they will feel better or get help; its like they feel that if I’m upset too, they won’t be alone in it.  I can feel the pull between the three of us of how they want company in their emotions.  I am always trying to live from a place of non-reaction by putting more space around my choices.  It is kind of funny to hang out with people who really really want to get a reaction out of you when you so badly want to stop reacting to everything that comes your way.  There is a kind of perfection in it that allows me to feel just how connected I am to everything and how God/Life lines up the perfect circumstances to grow you to be more of your essential self.

You can be sure that whatever circumstances you are working with, they are the exact, perfect ones made just for you that will deliver you to all that you are meant to experience on the path leading in the direction of becoming more of who you really are.  Whenever I hit a bump or fall flat on my face by forgetting everything I know, I can feel the meaning in the experience and be grateful for whatever the details looked like.  Me and my little emotional bandits get up and forgive each other pretty quickly and jump back into the joy of life.  We talk openly about all these things, so they are learning right alongside me.  They teach me so much in such a pure way.

Let’s have a moment of get-real perspective here; perception is always a great teacher, it is usually a good idea to flip things around and see how they look from the other side.  As I was thinking about the “emotional bandits” part of things, I realized that I am an emotional bandit as well.  I have heard myself say, “Why can’t we just be in the moment?”, “Let’s get into the flow of life.”, “Joy is waiting for you whenever you’re ready.”, and many more such statements.  It would seem that I, too, am guilty of resisting the emotions others are experiencing and trying to get them to feel something I want to feel.  Even if I am trying to get them to feel “good” things, it is still me trying to get those around me to feel and act the way I want them to, so that it can come more easily to me as well.  To be honest, I have seen myself in bad times trying to get others to feel bad with me too.  It is a hard thing to admit, but as I look at things from this perspective, I cringe at some of the times I was down, stressed or overwhelmed and my husband was happily buzzing around and I dragged him through my emotions just to have some company.  Fear makes us do all kinds of weird things.  Thank goodness we have always come out of it pretty quickly and we know where it all comes from.  The yuckie stuff is always fear and the lovely stuff is love…no exception.

So, we all do it…we all try to bring our loved ones with us on our little emotional trips.  As we ride the waves in a storm, it is lonely to do it alone…we seek company and we drag them into our boat because we are afraid of making the trip alone.  Once we can learn to live from a more spacious place that allows others to have their feelings and express what they’re going through without it affecting our state of mind, we can be free of the seasickness and truly taste the freedom of acceptance, present moment living and inner peace.  Next time you notice an emotional bandit trying to take you for a ride, just give them love and let it pass through you.  Try comforting them by intense listening that allows them to be heard without resistance from you that would cause them to try to convince you and pull you into their emotional boat.  If you notice yourself trying to take others for your emotional ride, turn towards love and remember that everything passes, things are always as they should be and even though it feels like it would be lonely to go it alone…it isn’t.  Sometimes we just need to feel our feelings deeply and pass through them alone to let them lose their power over us.  We can grow and become more of who we really are by swimming deeper, feeling more stillness and realizing that we aren’t ever truly alone…we are connected to all that is around us…what we can see and what we cannot.

Picture it, if you are living at the surface of life, riding the waves, you need that little boat and you constantly seek company in there to endure all the seasickness and storms.  If you are the ocean, you don’t need the boat.  You don’t need to get in the boat with others and you don’t need to drag others into yours.  You can just be the ocean and heal yourself and others as you spread love and stay calm and peaceful in the moment.

Sending you love, calm, peace, joy and presence.

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January 1, 2014

Happy New Day…The One That Happens Each and Every Day!

So, it’s January 1, 2014.  It feels like a new beginning, a fresh start…full of possibility.  The newness of the first day of the year is a wonderful gift, but it only comes once a year.  The truth is that we have the opportunity to start each and every single day fresh and full of possibility.  We get to decide each day who we will be, what we will do with our day and what we will bring to the world.  We get to choose what we will see, how much love we will spread, how much joy we will live and how much peace we will feel.

We’re all doing our best, working towards becoming more of ourselves and showing up more authentically in the world; whether we know it or not, that is what we’re doing.  Some days it works well and some days we struggle and cause suffering for ourselves and others around us.  Each day and each moment, we have the opportunity and the ability to choose to start fresh and choose love.

“The human emotional system can be broken down into roughly two elements:
fear and love.
Love is of the soul.
Fear is of the personality.”

~ Gary Zukav – from “Seat Of The Soul” ~

This year as I continue to work on closing the gap between what I know and what I am living, and then expanding to a new gap as I learn more (I’m figuring out that life is lived in the gap and there will always be one), I do have one main goal in mind.  I hope to live from a place of love that leaves no room for fear.  I will use this space to share how that will look in my life.  I want to live with an open heart in each moment, allowing me to assume nothing, take nothing personally and listen to Life deeply as it continues to guide me to more of myself.  I want to choose more of the soul and less of the personality.  I want to spread love wherever I can.  I want to use all that I know and embrace the unknown as I continue to build habits that will support my growth, always turning away from fear and towards love as I push through to the essential me.  I will fail, I will try again, I will start fresh a lot.  I will share openly with us all here.

I am grateful for this space.  Every time I hit publish on one of these posts, it feels like a fresh conscious moment to choose who I am.  As part of my love, not fear, open heart, lived moment by moment year, I am opening the site up for comments.  I am ready now.  I welcome the idea of connecting with my readers more.  I feel ready to hear how others are living what they know and I hope to build a nice space for us all to learn and grow.  Thank you everyone for sharing this space with me.

Wishing us all the courage and presence to awaken every single day to the possibility that we are.  Sending you love and joy!

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