Live What You Know

Waking up is more than it seems. You KNOW more than you've ever been "taught"! You chose to be here now. Make yourTRUEself proud!

Tag: God

November 5, 2013

One of The Great Blessings In My Life…Wooden Wisdom

Coach John Wooden passed away on June 4, 2010.  That day was a life changer for me.  We happened to be sick that weekend and uncharacteristically had the television on, allowing us to see some of the coverage…I am so thankful for that.  I was deeply touched by what I learned about this amazing man that day.  I haven’t written all that much about Coach Wooden here yet because every time I think about putting my feelings into words, I get a kind of terrified feeling.  I think it is because I fear that I could never quite express how knowing about what he did with his life has affected mine and that of my family.  Even now, I sit here with tears starting to form, a sick feeling in my stomach and a lump in my throat.  What is this?  I don’t really experience this with my writing, I am willing to share and be open about just about anything…  Fear is a ridiculous illusion that tries to stop us from so many things, so I will just bulldoze right through it.  Wish me luck please!

As I sat there learning about Coach Wooden that day, I was stunned to see that someone like him had existed.  There was so much more to the story than the man who had coached basketball so successfully.  So much more.  I SAW LOVE!  I think it stood out because it was all men talking about this man and they were just so completely raw and open and loving as they recalled what Coach had meant to them and what knowing him had done in their lives.  The coverage included a little about his great love for his wife who had passed away many years before.  We saw that he had written her a letter every single day for twenty-five years since her passing.  We saw some of his Pyramid of Success.  We saw so much, but for me I wanted to know much more.  I had to.

I decided to read everything I could get my hands on that Coach had written.  He has many books out there.  I devoured all of them.  I would never be the same.  This man knew what success meant.  He began thinking of it back in high school when his math teacher asked his students “What is success?”… Coach never let the question go, he worked on his Pyramid of Success for thirteen years.  He lived it and he devoted his life to teaching others how to live it as well.  His pyramid is something my family has studied since we discovered it and we will continue to do so for years to come.  Coach’s definition of success is this–

Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.  –John R. Wooden

Here is his Pyramid of Success:

wooden_pyramid

I could attempt to explain all that the Pyramid and all of Coach’s work mean to me, but I know that it really can’t be put into words.  It is much more than words.  I will just say that I think it is very strange that they put his books in the sports section at the book stores.  He taught about much much more than sports.  He taught about life and he lived as an example.

I am grateful for many teachers in my life.  Just prior to reading all of Coach’s work, I had been reading various spiritual awakening books and memoirs.  I was really trying to grasp consciousness and awakening and in some cases, reading and rereading the same books again and again.  Somehow Coach’s work was exactly the piece of the puzzle that I needed at the exact moment…a gift from God.  It felt like my grandfather explaining life to me in understandable terms.  I probably couldn’t have understood Coach so deeply if I hadn’t already been changed by awe-inspiring lessons from many before I found him though, so for that I am grateful!  I think of Coach’s work as the glue I needed as my foundation to understand all the other lessons coming my way and to make sense of all that I had already learned.  I believe Coach Wooden was an enlightened being among us and the best part about him was that he was so humble he didn’t label himself at all.  He was just a man, doing his personal best.  We are all so blessed to have his example.

For me, the Pyramid and many more things I learned from Coach Wooden’s work are my foundation.  That foundation is always there for me reminding me to work hard towards becoming the best version of myself, while being open to Life in every way possible.  Life is always supporting and growing and blessing us with miracles and lessons, but we are also responsible for doing the work of co-creating with it.  Coach’s work brings good old-fashioned character lessons and supports us while we also tap into the moment and the flow of God’s love that is ever-present.  For me, it is the perfect combination.  I am so grateful for the gift of Wooden Wisdom in my life!

We love Coach Wooden’s books for children so very much.  He did a great job in the later part of his life bringing his work to kids.  In his last book, The Wisdom of Wooden, he shared a special picture and a great message about his children’s books.  He said that the people at the company that worked to bring his kids’ books into classrooms asked him if he had ever thought about changing the Pyramid in any manner.  Coach shared that when asked, he had replied, “No, except for one thing.  I wish I had included the word ‘Love’ somewhere.  Love is the basis for everything I do.”  He was excited to share that they granted his wish by making him the picture below.  You can see love in the cement holding the blocks together.  It is so very special.  I saw the love that day that I first learned of Coach and I will never forget it.

Scan 133060001-3

The pictures in the children’s books don’t have the love in the cement…he shared this in his last book.  I scanned it directly from the pages of The Wisdom of Wooden.  I was not surprised at all to hear that was the only change he would make.  I could see on that first day I learned of him that he was a man who lived full of love and I am so grateful that he showed me what a lifetime full of love looks like.

From all the spiritual teachers I have learned that love is always the answer.  I know that is why Coach mentioned this late in his life when asked…he knew deeply that love is the only answer and it is always the answer.  He was and continues to be an amazing example of a life lived well and with lots of love.

I can see as I try to wrap-up this post that it would take many more words to even begin to explain my feelings for Coach.  I feel that I will have many opportunities to share my feelings in the future here on Live What You Know…for that I am grateful and to you, my cherished reader, I am grateful!  Thank you!  Please stay tuned for many more specific lessons I learned from our beloved, Coach Wooden.  For now, lets just try to remember that love is always the answer.  No matter what it is, stop and flex that heart muscle and you will feel it and summon the courage to use it.  You can move mountains with love.  You can forgive, cherish, laugh, cry, squeeze, smile, create, build, win, lose, adore and so much more with love and that muscle we call… the heart.

Love is always the answer.  Wishing you love!

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November 4, 2013

A Clear Mind

My new morning mantra…

Today, I go out into the world with a clear mind.  I leave all thoughts behind.

I spotted a great quote recently that inspired it…

When I walk out into the world, I take no thoughts with me.  That’s not easy, but you can learn to do it.  An empty mind is hungry, so you can look at everything longer, and closer.  Don’t hum!  When you listen with empty ears, you hear more.  And this is the core of the secret:  Attention is the beginning of devotion.”  –Mary Oliver

Last Monday morning, I was driving the children to an activity and I paraphrased Mary Oliver’s lovely words above sharing where I had seen them.  I then naturally turned them into my new mantra.  I kept saying, “Today, I go out into the world with a clear mind.  I leave all thoughts behind.”  Next thing I knew I was looking at things fresh and clear and miracles were appearing before my eyes.  Simply from looking at them with a clear mind.  The miracles are always there and God and the Divine are always ready for us to show up and see them, experience them, and BE them.

On that Monday morning before I had used my mantra, I did have things on my mind that seemed to need my attention.  I even had a few things I thought needed fixing or my own interference really.  After using my mantra and then truly entering the day’s activities with fresh eyes, open ears, and a clear mind with pointed attention…nothing needed my “fixing” anymore.  I was simply left grateful and alive.

This weekend someone asked me, “Where do you fellowship?”  I said, “Everywhere.  I love looking for the Sacred in Everything.”  This is my devotion.

Mary Oliver was right…It isn’t easy to take no thoughts with you.  She was also right when she said you can learn to do it.  It begins with watching the thoughts and then finding your way to quieting them.  The joy is in the still, open, attention.

This morning and always, I wish you a clear and open mind to experience the miracles that are ready for you.  You don’t have to take expectations with you anywhere you go or into anything you do.  Sending you love and joy!

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October 15, 2013

Perseverance…Just Keep Going…

It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.  ~Albert Einstein

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.  ~Buddhist Saying

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer. ~André A. Jackson

At our house, we love Super Soul Sunday on Own, it is a spiritual practice for us.  We quit watching TV several years ago and made an exception for this wonderful program…it has proven to be a great choice.  It is a lovely way to see God in a variety of forms and ideas…a beautiful tribute to the Universal Oneness we can all benefit from understanding.  We get excited for new episodes.  Recently we watched endurance swimmer Diana Nyad talk about her life, her journey, her beliefs, her determination, her recent swim from Cuba to Florida and more.  She shared a piece of herself with Oprah and her audience in a very moving way.  Oprah enjoyed it so much that she made it a two-part episode that continued this past Sunday.  I must admit that when I first saw the topic the week prior to it airing, I wasn’t as excited as usual…I just didn’t feel connected to it and it didn’t seem like I would relate to it so much.  Well, I was wrong.  Very wrong.  It was relatable to me in a deep way.

I had seen the headlines of Diana’s swim from Cuba to Florida and never really bothered to read the story or details of it.  Now I know the story and I am a better person for having heard it and a grateful person for having heard it straight from her.  Long long story really short – she swam 110 miles in 53 hours straight at age 64 on her fourth attempt.  After hearing all the specifics of the challenges of swimming in the ocean (like jellyfish stings) and trying to wrap my mind around doing anything for 53 hours straight (even lying on my bed), the whole idea just seemed a bit crazy and kind of like a strange dream to chase for a lifetime.  That feeling didn’t last long.

Diana has an intense personality.  She is a force.  You can feel her when she talks and in my experience, something deep inside me connected to that spirit that showed so clearly in her.  It really is hard to put into words, but I felt it big time.  I was riveted and deeply moved.  My whole family was.  There is something beautiful about people who are trying to be the best version of themselves and willing to work really really hard to do it.

Afterwards, my eight-year-old daughter and I were talking about her dream and her perseverance.  We were walking through the house gathering laundry as we casually discussed what it meant to us.  We were talking about the swimming part of it and all she encountered, it seemed really really scary to my daughter.  I tried to explain that you take that example of perseverance and you put it in a form that relates to your life.  Without thinking of it, I blurted out what my Cuba/Florida swim equivalent is.  I explained that for me, what I am the most passionate and feel the most drawn towards and consider to be the most important thing in my existence is living in consciousness as a permanent state.  That is, transcending egoic states of mind and truly existing deeply in the present moment.  This may sound strange to some people but this is my truth.  Living in this way is the most important thing and will transcend and bring harmony to life and relationships all around me.

I have been on this journey of trying to live what I know for quite some time.  I fall down all the time.  I react.  I take things personally.  I resist what already is.  I fall below thought and just check-out with mind numbing distractions of various sorts, knowing this doesn’t bring real joy.  I always get back up and keep going.  I can admit that I failed and I don’t have to be mean to myself about it.  I can apologize to those I may have hurt or annoyed and tell them I know I can do better and I am not those choices.  Learning to be kind to yourself in your failure is a gift.  Still learning to receive that gift.  Getting better.

It is strange that watching a swimmer with a completely different type of dream and experience could connect to me so deeply.  I know why it did — It is the same story we all have.  I am grateful to Diana to have shared her story in a way that allows me to be able to consider those 53 hours and what it took to keep going.  I will think of it often as I keep going.  Many times this week, I caught myself right before I may have fallen into an old reaction or thought pattern and I felt deeply that now was the moment to choose to live all that I know.  I was able to sit in whatever was causing discomfort and not let it become me.  I could observe and stay true to who I am and what kind of person I want to be.  In life there are countless opportunities to continue to make that choice.  I am that choice, not the other things that sometimes interfere with my deeper self.  Maybe someday soon  I can live 53 hours straight without any thought chatter or egoic reasoning or reacting…just simply BEING.  The only time to do it is now.  I AM that choice.

Find a way.  ~Diana Nyad

There is an evolutionary impulse that wants to assist us in our growth and towards what we are meant to do.  It takes a lot of stillness and spaciousness to access that place that can guide us.  It doesn’t have to be difficult to persevere.  It can seem incredibly hard when we fall away from the impulse of the flow of life, but the flow is always waiting for us to return to it.  We can choose it at any moment.  It is true that we aren’t really headed to a destination…it is the journey and it is full of millions of opportunities to continue to persevere.

Wishing us all the space to embrace perseverance towards whatever we may feel drawn to.  Sending love!

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September 19, 2013

Gratitude

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.  ~Meister Eckhart

All that we behold is full of blessings.  ~William Wordsworth

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.  ~Jean Baptiste Massieu

My gratitude lately is almost overwhelming.  The last two days have been incredible in so many ways.  Nothing monumental happened and nothing unexpected came my way…but the gratefulness in my heart for what my life is all about has hit me like a ton of bricks.  My kids and I started our new homeschool and household chores routine.  I know.  It doesn’t sound that thrilling.  It is though.  There are about a million things I can count and millions more I can’t see that had to come together and coordinate perfectly over many many years to have experienced the last two days the way I have experienced them.  I have been brought to tears a few times just taking in all that was happening around me and realizing all that came before me to make it possible.  Thank you God/Universe/Life for sending me the messages, blessings, support and courage to make all the choices we have made to be on the path we are on.  We love our little path and we know it is ours…we are making it up as we go along with help from Everything!

I am so grateful I listened!

When you’re on the right path and you’re listening to life and charting your own course you not only love your path, you begin to love the path that everyone else has chosen as well.  Feeling like your path is the right one or better than another choice is no longer possible when you’re full of love and gratitude for having found yours.  You wish with all your heart that everyone finds and loves their path too.  We’re all headed to the same place on different paths.  It feels so comforting to love our path so much and see the beauty and joy in other paths as well.  We can let go of judging as we create and enjoy our path and enjoy watching others do the same.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wishing you a heart full of gratitude!  I am so very grateful you are visiting me here and I send you so much love, joy and gratitude!

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September 17, 2013

The Gift of Authenticity

Years ago I had what seemed at the time like a close friend.  We were spending a lot of time together in group settings and with our children and alone on occasion.  The thing was, you never knew what you were going to get with her.  Sometimes she was lovely and great company, sometimes she was rowdy and a lot of fun, sometimes she was down right rude and hard to get along with, sometimes she seemed to have a wall up to create distance and make herself appear to be something (I’m still not sure what it was).  One day when we were together, she was having a bad day and really let her guard down and spoke from her heart.  I got to see this open and genuine side to her.  It was a bit of a relief and very refreshing.  I can’t remember exactly how I worded it, but I told her on the spot how much I liked her when she was just really being honest and open and sharing how she was really feeling that day.  She quickly responded, saying “Well, it’s not practical for me to come with my ‘woe is me’ story every day.”  She quickly returned to her somewhat closed up protective persona.

I let this friendship slip away.  That wouldn’t happen today.  That friendship taught me a lot throughout the years.  I now know that you can only see in others what you have in yourself.  Even as I recalled my experience of her above, it didn’t seem real anymore.  I think I would now experience her in a completely different way.  I was choosing to experience her in that limited way.  I was not as far along on my own path of finding my authentic self.  Perhaps when we aren’t there authentically, we can’t feel others authenticity either and we don’t offer a space that welcomes it.

I used to think I was too open.  I would sometimes regret having shared too much with someone and have that sick feeling of regret.  I would then try to tell myself I wouldn’t share so much next time and that I would learn from that feeling…only to have it happen again soon.  I haven’t had that in a long time.  I didn’t become less open, I just found my way to more authenticity.  For that, I am truly grateful!  Recently someone meaning well and trying to give me helpful advice relating to my children’s activities told me to “keep my distance” with a particular group.  She had compelling reasons and was really trying to help me navigate a situation for my children.  Her advice seemed reasonable and she had much more experience in this arena than me…for a minute I thought I might be able to do what she was suggesting.  It didn’t work.  I figured out very quickly that I am just not a “keep your distance” kind of person.  If I am there, I am open.  For me to try to create distance would stop the flow of life and I want to experience that flow and whatever it may bring.  When you are completely authentic and present (or at least as present as you are able to be), the interaction will be what it is meant to be and the fear of over-sharing can drop away.

Authenticity comes slowly over time (like most wondrous gifts).  Without knowing it, I have been working at it for years.  As a child, I was so afraid of everything.  Even butterflies.  I made many choices out of fear of what others might think or to do what I thought I was supposed to do.  It is remarkable how little what I really wanted or felt meant to me.  I think it is sad to spend time walking around with masks on trying to protect ourselves from something…but really, just keeping ourselves from living.  I want everyone to know how amazing it feels to truly stand in your own authenticity.  It is such a relief to ourselves and to others who spend time with us.  It allows us to make brave choices that align with our purpose and to truly grab hold of this life and live it.

It is a beautiful thing to be so “you” everywhere you go.  Sometimes I am shocked at how different it feels these days to be authentically me.  Sometimes the things that bring me the most joy surprise me so.  Many things have changed slowly over time and I have found the authentic me to be much more than I thought as I have learned to chart my own course and make authentic choices for my life.  Whatever it is, whatever I am feeling, I am it…no pretense, no people pleasing, no mask…just me.  Sometimes I have it together and spread love and joy.  Sometimes I am a mess and it shows.  Whatever it is, it is authentic.  When it is a mess, it doesn’t last long…authenticity has a way of bringing us back to the only thing that truly exists…love.  It sort of wipes all the fake stuff out-of-the-way and brings more space for love.

We know in our hearts how important authenticity is.  We must work to find it and know it so well we live from that space in every choice, action, thought or word.  Once we can live in this way, we can work to expand it and watch it grow us into our true nature.  The Universe is authentic, it will meet us in that space and we will see our connectedness to everything and how we see the world will be transformed.

Sending you love and wishing you authenticity in everything you do and a reciprocal flow from everyone you meet!

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September 11, 2013

Staying Home

Once we understand that the best place to BE at home is within ourselves and that we can be at home whenever and wherever we are, we just need to practice actually doing it.  For today, I want to share a quick tip for staying at home within when distractions arise.

The term being at home is really about inner peace.  Somehow “being at home” sounds a bit more attainable than inner peace, kind of like a stepping stone to the real deal.  Plenty of being at home within will take us toward inner peace…where else would it lead?!  The path toward peace begins with quieting the mind.  There are many stages and paths and practices that help with quieting the mind.  Different things work for different people.  I want to just give a quick tip today that might help us all stay home well this week.

Let’s identify a few of the many things that take us from our true home and fill our mind with noise:

  • Worrying
  • Rushing
  • Resisting situations, wishing things were different
  • Thinking about the future and what may happen
  • Wishing something hadn’t happened
  • Being annoyed
  • Stress in general

To be clear, we are meant to live a peaceful life and feel at home within ourselves all the time.  So, anytime we are not experiencing utter peace, we have left our rightful home and chosen fear instead.  Most people live in constant stress, so they may be surprised to hear that what many consider to be “normal” stress is actually not living at all and a complete waste of energy.

Knowing our home is within we can use our bodies to anchor us there.  A little thing I like to do throughout the day when I feel my mind stray or stress begin to take hold is to simply shift my attention towards some part of my body.  If I am walking when I notice the mind activity, I simply change the thought to “I am home” and feel my foot hit the ground or floor with my fullest attention, then I keep my attention there for my next steps.  Repeating the “I am home” thought again, I then notice more of my body.  I soon notice my heart feel good and a smile always comes to my face; when you stop to notice your heart feel good, it is impossible not to smile (try it).  As you keep walking, you find the quiet mind and peace again.  If I were doing the dishes or writing when my mind went towards noise, I would bring my attention to my hands and do the same thought replacement and feel my heart relax and inevitably feel a smile on my face.  It really works and can bring you right to where you are most at home…in joy.  You can use an arm movement, notice your fingers, stretch your neck or simply stand still…anchor yourself anywhere in your body and out of your mind…it will bring the peace of being at home within.

On this wonderful Wednesday, I just have to say…I wouldn’t wish happiness on anyone.  That may sound strange, let me explain.  To me, happiness means something has happened that brought it and inevitably it swings to the opposite at some point.  What I wish for everyone is true peace that comes from within.  I wish it for you with all my heart!  Try this little tip to anchor your attention in your body and you will love how it feels to quickly and effectively quiet the mind and all the trouble it likes to create.  When I first started watching my thoughts years ago, I remember I would often find myself counting my steps.  It was as if my mind was so used to constant noise that it couldn’t just be quiet, it had to count.  It was okay, I just went around counting steps and stairs…it passed.  The quiet is where life is at…I am so grateful for the quiet.

I hope this little tip helps you enjoy the quiet.  I am sending you love and peace!

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September 9, 2013

Being At Home

What better place to truly be at home than anywhere in the world?!  When we can be our true self no matter where we are, who we are with or what the circumstances are, then we are really living and we are at home within.  Figuring out how to find this space and dwell within it is the most important achievement we can ever accomplish in our lifetime.  That space is in there waiting for us…we need simply follow the path to it.  There is no fear there and none of its many disguises.  There is unwavering comfort.  There is only love for all that is and ever was and ever will be.  There is peace.

Live What You Know is all about figuring out how to stay in this place.  I have peeked in the door and even stopped in for a bit…only to allow myself to be pulled back to all the things of this world that can pull us out of peace if we let them (and only if we let them).  How lovely it would be to take us residence there.  I would have that peace and I could bring it to everyone I meet.  I could show them my space and share with them that they have the same space within them awaiting their arrival.  They would be able to see it and recognize it as their own as well.  Oh, how lovely that would be.

We will get there.  There is no way we can’t.  The timing is fine, it all works out as it should.  We will find our way within.

Now is the only time there ever is.

Today, as I walk, talk, breathe and be I will remember that I am at home.  I will be in that space today because my soul is ready to be there today.  That is the prayer today.  I pray the same for you.  Whether you peek in the door, stop in for a visit or are ready to live there always, I pray you see home in you today and always.

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Today, our family is starting a stay-cation at home for the week.  We thought about traveling this week, but we all just really want to be at home enjoying family time.  As I was pondering staying at home this morning and truly making it the best it can be for my husband and children, the knowing that we are always at home within came through me.  I think there is a powerful connection to the actual living space we abide in.  I am grateful I had this awareness this morning and I can use this week as a time to honor our sacred space that we share.  I pray to use this time to bring more peace and love to my husband and children.  Making our living space more like the space we have within can only help us in finding that space, staying there and inviting others to join us.  Taking all actions from my home within is the only way to bring this peace to my loved ones.  I am so grateful to be at home!

Sending so much love!

 

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September 4, 2013

What Blessings Will You See?

I experienced three specific blessings and countless related miracles last week.

  1. My dryer broke with a room full of dirty clothes.
  2. My air conditioner broke on one of the hottest days of the year with house guests included in the fun.
  3. My leg was bitten by a spider that resulted in a reaction causing great discomfort and need for medication.

When the dryer broke for the third time in the two years since we purchased it, I started to react and then paused, took a breath and simply took the necessary action to figure out how to resolve the issue.  Within the course of the next few days I witnessed several miracles come together to coordinate things perfectly for me.  It felt like a bummer to have to purchase a new one and it was kind of funny when they called to say they were on the way with my new washer (instead of a dryer), but there were no less than ten things that looked like miracles to me throughout dealing with the situation.  My heart was full of gratitude to have witnessed these miracles and to live in a time and place where dryers exist and we are able to have one.

When the air conditioner broke within a few weeks of having it serviced, I reacted a bit.  It was hot and I had guests.  I made it through the heat and tried my best to let it be.  The next morning after realizing it hadn’t fixed itself overnight I called the nice man who had recently been to the house to service it.  It was the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, so you can imagine it wasn’t high on his list of things to do…but, within a few hours he was at my door with his sweet young son ready to help.  They had the right part on their truck and got us up and running very soon.  I counted many miracles in this process and felt a deep sense of gratitude that I had been referred to him a few weeks before and even knew who to call on a holiday weekend like that.  Because I was leaning back and letting things flow, I witnessed multiple miracles.  My heart was overflowing with gratitude.

When I saw the crazy thing on my leg growing and developing a weird ring around it and realized that I had been feeling kind of sickly, I started to react or become fearful and then I realized with a grateful heart that I coincidentally (there are no accidents) had a dermatologist appointment the very next morning that had been scheduled for something else two months earlier.  This was an appointment I had been avoiding for over a year, I was having a dark spot cut off my back.  Ouch.  I finally had made the appointment and was kind of dreading it.  As I realized the doctor would be able to help me with the weird thing growing on my leg, I felt like I had just been given a huge hug from the Universe (I love God hugs…they are always readily available).  During my  appointment she said that I would have ended up in the hospital on an IV if I hadn’t come in.  She prescribed medication that requires me to stay out of the sun for ten days which causes me to miss out on a lot of planned activities.  I had seen so many miracles in this blessing, I left filled with the utmost peace and gratitude for the way the Universe works and the miracles that are all around us.

I am so grateful for three things that happened last week.

  1. My dryer broke with a room full of dirty clothes.
  2. My air conditioner broke on one of the hottest days of the year with house guests included in the fun.
  3. My leg was bitten by a spider that resulted in reaction causing great discomfort and need for medication.

I saw three blessings and many miracles.  I am so grateful I can see them.  What a shame it would have been to simply see three bad things that happened and disrupted my week.  Sometimes the things that look like problems are filled with blessings, kindnesses, miracles and messages for us…you never now whether something is good or bad.  It is best to just go with the flow of Life.  When we figure out how to truly Flow we can see blessings everywhere!  That is living!

It is impossible for me to truly express just how I saw all those miracles or to describe the amazing little details that were connected and coordinated to fill me with wonder…even for someone like me who is never short on words.  Trying to explain the details of it couldn’t honor it properly.  It is just a kind of magical feeling that made ordinary events take on more meaning.  It brought into clear perspective how silly it really is to react to things.  There is so much more going on than we can see…but if we look closely enough or feel deeply enough, we can know and understand at the highest level that everything is going to workout just the way it should and all is well.

Miracles are all around us!  Wishing you a day of counting your blessings…whatever form they come in.

Perception is but a mirror, not a fact. What I look on is my state of mind reflected outward. (p. 441)

This instant is the only time there is. (p. 443)

Perception follows judgment. Having judged, we therefore see what we would look upon. (p. 446)

–A Course In Miracles

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August 29, 2013

The “Sweet Little One” Inside Me… and You

I can remember a time during childhood (well, it lasted a long while) when my mom would say to me after some silly choice, bad decision or rude interaction, “What happened to sweet little Stacy?”  I heard this for a long time whenever I kind of got out of line or needed some parenting I suppose.  In the beginning this question really upset me and made me feel like I wasn’t a nice person.  Over time it haunted me even more and I began to ponder it myself.  Had I quit being sweet?  Was I a bad person?  During adolescence I distinctly remember her asking this question again and I had this fury inside where I screamed, “She NEVER existed, all I have ever heard is ‘where is she?’, she was never here, it’s just me, quit asking.”  (I don’t think I had the courage to say it aloud to her, I think I imagined I did, but didn’t…I probably played that scene in my head over and over, I’m really not sure if I ever discussed it with her).

Now I am the mom to an eight-year-old daughter.  I sometimes wonder what has happened to her.  I wonder where my sweet baby has gone.  That is how I became reminded of the question about “sweet little Stacy” above.  I am truly grateful I had the experience of thinking about who I was.  I am so glad my mother asked this of me and especially now, at this point in life, I am truly grateful my mom continued to direct that question to me.  I can go really deep with this question now and I am thrilled with the answer.  I almost feel like picking up the phone to call my mother and tell her that I found her after all these years…I have found Sweet Little Stacy.  She is there in me and she is in you too!  I will explain…

First, let me say, my daughter is amazing.  She is so many wonderful things…too many to list here.  Because I am her mom, I also see another side to her.  The mom gets to see it all.  I can see she is growing and changing.  Because of all the reading about spiritual things I do, I can see that the ego is trying to take hold and her identity is changing.  I can see when it happens and I am also painfully aware that I am the one she is most comfortable lashing out at.  She is so kind in her heart…its just me she will melt down with and show another side to, growing up is tough.  I have heard myself say to her so many times, “you would never treat anyone else that way, only me.”  Sounds a lot like the question my own mother had of me.  I am sure I have said even worse to her in tough moments (forgive me sweet girl).  This parenting stuff is not easy.  When I can lean back and look at things I can see what is happening and not take it personally.  Other times, it hurts so bad.

It’s tough to juggle knowing if we’re parenting or judging.  I have been thinking about this recently and trying to watch it with her.  I don’t want to judge her or make her into me.  I want to help her be the best version of herself.  I want to honor her growing and help her learn to make good choices.  If she feels judged by me, she won’t be able to feel my love, she will turn towards her fear instead.  Oh, how I want to be the mother that doesn’t judge.  I am so trying to figure out how to parent well without judging.

Recently, she lashed out at me because she was struggling learning something.  Often, when something seems hard, her fear brings out the worst.  Understandable.  Anyway, like I said, I struggle with allowing her to be herself and still guide her towards making good choices.  After appealing to her with explanations of kindness, etc., she just kept pushing, I allowed her actions to hit my buttons and I decided she needed a break and told her she would be in timeout.  In fact, I gave her a double timeout.  This would mean 16 minutes to think about her actions.  As she stormed down the stairs in anger, I had a change of heart.  I sent her brother to tell her that mom had changed her mind, this gave me a minute to breathe and pause and choose well (that non-reactionary living I am striving for).  When she returned to me, I said to her, “You get to choose who you want to be.”  That was all I said, she returned to her work.

Within a few minutes, she came to me and gave me a sweet kiss and hug and apologized.  She had found her “sweet” and turned towards love.  I knew she could do it!  We talk to the kids so much about character and our choices.  We explain that your choices make who you are.  We have so many ways of explaining it to the best of our ability.  I also believe that people treat you how you let them treat you and I don’t want to raise kids that are rude and disrespectful to their mother.  Not just for me, but I know they won’t feel good about themselves if they choose that.  Allowing my sweet daughter the space to find who she wants to be on her own with just the right amount of guidance and a big dash of modeling my own good choices seems to be the recipe.  For now.

I am going to continue pondering parenting without judging.  I think it’s worth the effort to try.  As I embrace the freedom from being right or wrong, I do want to impart some of this concept to the kids.  It is tough because they so badly want to be right…all the time.  I told them recently that I really don’t want to parent every single little thing and be right and make them wrong…but what I do want to do is parent for peace.  I explained that even when they are corrected or get in trouble, they really haven’t done anything wrong, but we must try to work towards creating more peace and harmony.  If we’re behaving in a way that creates more peace and harmony, then there won’t be much chance of getting into trouble.  As we discussed this more and exactly what harmony means…we were turned to look outside at nature and observe the perfect harmony all around us.  I love how the answers are always there in the perfection of nature.

Mom – THANK YOU so much for guiding me towards finding “Sweet Little Stacy” – slowly over time I am finding her in the essence of my true nature.  What a gift it is to know she does exist and she is there in the purest form in me just as she is in everyone else.

Wishing you all a quiet moments with the Sweet Little One inside you.  Joy!

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August 25, 2013

The Universe Went To A Lot of Trouble To Create This Exact Moment For You…Come To The Party

The Universe (God, Life, Love, All, Everything…) went to a lot of trouble to create this exact moment that you are experiencing.  It has been arranging millions of things and designing perfection for you.  It has then invited you to come.  That is the case in every moment.  Always.  Each moment is perfectly created for exactly the right circumstances for you and the evolution of your soul.  All we need to do is simply be there in the moment fully to experience the perfection we are meant to have.  Unfortunately, we often skip the moment entirely by bringing past issues or experiences and future worries or stress with us in our minds that keeps us preoccupied and unable to BE where we are at fully.  The moment that the Universe worked so hard for us to have is completely lost on us, we just can’t feel it.  We are more blessed and loved than we can imagine because the Universe (God) loves us so much that at the very  moment we miss yet another of its precious gifts it had picked out for us, it is already working hard to create another one to invite us to that is just as perfect.  It lines up infinite details to create divine experiences for us and no matter how many moments we miss, it continues to invite us to the next one.  Continuous understanding, compassion and invitations.  Amazing!

Imagine if a loved one had decided to throw you a special party…they organized every last detail to make it the best celebration of your lifetime and you just didn’t show up.  You just never went.  When we live with constant distractions, mind chatter and stress, we just aren’t showing up at the party the Universe has planned for us.  Lucky for us, the Universe will go on planning, arranging and coordinating the perfect experience for us…but, our soul longs to skip the detours and delays.  It will all work out just as it should, but perhaps by understanding what we are missing we can truly focus on figuring out how we can show up at the party now.  Let’s do everything we can to go to the party the Universe has planned for us…the joy.

Wishing you joy today and always!  I know you can get to the party and feel the joy; my faith in you helps me feel I can dwell in the joy more often myself.  Let’s Live It!  We have people to meet, things to see, stories to hear, love to create, adventures to encounter…the joy is always waiting for us.

 

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