Live What You Know

Waking up is more than it seems. You KNOW more than you've ever been "taught"! You chose to be here now. Make yourTRUEself proud!
August 20, 2013

Master Listening — Master Living

How Do I Listen?

How
Do I
Listen to others?
As if everyone were my Master
Speaking to me
His
Cherished
Last
Words.

-Hafiz

Perhaps the best practice today would simply be to listen with the fullest possible intensity and attention to everyone and everything around me.  Maybe this simple act would ground me so deeply in the amazing flow of life and the perfection the universe has picked out for me that I wouldn’t hear any mind chatter and I could stay perfectly in the actual moment that I have been invited to dwell in.  Maybe by really hearing what is being said and what isn’t being said in the silence in between and the stillness that surrounds me, I would feel only joy and spread pure joy to others.  Maybe when you master listening, you master Living!

I can’t imagine being able to answer the question above the way Hafiz did.  Amazing!  I can imagine how it feels to have a conversation like this or even one moment where you really touched the essence of life and heard what the universe is saying.  I have experienced this kind of listening and it is absolutely breathtaking.  Knowing this and experiencing this divine feeling, I still fall back regularly into the rush and let day-to-day life keep me from living with this level of attention.  I think that once we know how important truly listening to life is, living in any other way is exhausting for our spirit and soul.  I have a hunch that a deeper practice of listening to life with my fullest attention is just what my soul needs most.  The joy of really hearing someone and really seeing them fresh in the moment feels so good to us and to them, it heightens the energy level of everything and allows us to be much more of ourselves.  Truly hearing and experiencing the sounds around us with wonder can only bring more peace.  Listening to the stillness behind everything is nurturing for our soul.  I am ready to nurture my soul and replenish through listening to the best of my ability.

I think we’re all starved for fuller attention from others and for opportunities to give our fullest attention to others.  I believe truly listening is the most amazing gift we can give or receive.  We can help someone hear what their soul really wants to say, just by purely listening.  I would like to practice living in a way that honors all that listening really is.  I don’t want to show up with my veil of perceptions, distractions and reactions, I want to be there fully and listen with my whole heart.  I believe if done well, listening can change the way we see and experience the world.

Once you start the journey of quieting the mind and opening the heart, it’s a shame to give the silence away and fill it up with your own words and your own distractions and reactions so easily!  Surrendering our attention so readily to so many things without placing it purely on what is right in front of us now is like numbing ourselves to life where we can no longer truly experience anything.  It is surrendering the beauty and joy that life has to offer.  Our attention is sacred and must be cared for and treated with reverence.  I don’t need to hear more of my little thoughts or my voice reacting to things, I want to listen to what life really has to say and truly live from there.

Simply put – listening really really well to all of life could save us all a lot of trouble and bring us all a lot of joy.

God help me listen, speak, breathe and be from stillness today and always!

I wish you a day filled with generous listening — others to you and you to Everything!  I also wish you love, smiles, laughter and fun!

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August 18, 2013

Let Beauty Awaken Your Soul

“When our eyes are graced with wonder, the world reveals its wonders to us. There are people who see only dullness in the world and that is because their eyes have already been dulled. So much depends on how we look at things. The quality of our looking determines what we come to see.”
―John O’Donohue, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace

Beauty.  What is it?  Where does it come from?  Why does it touch us so?  What happens to us when we experience it?

When we experience true beauty, everything stops.  We take it in.  We experience the stillness that it came from.  I believe that we remember where it came from and it feels like home to us.  It awakens us from our daily life for a moment and takes us somewhere else.  It moves us.  It thrills us.  It is love sent to remind us of who and what we are.

When we experience a beautiful song, a masterful dance performance, a great poem, a theatrical production, a scene in a movie, a sunset, a beautiful piece of artwork, even an amazing sports moment…anything that has true beauty, we are changed in that moment.  Beauty can wake us up to more of life, it takes us out of the ordinary and out of our thinking mind — into our senses fully and it is a gift when it does.  We stop thinking, we have no worries, we aren’t planning or distracted or bored…we are really there experiencing the beauty and relief in being taken to a more meaningful moment.  We all have experienced those precious moments when we sit in awe of something so beautiful, we feel it deep inside.  Remember it and you can feel it now.

That moment is always there for us.  We must remember that stillness and invite it to visit more often.  We can bring more beauty into out lives, we simply need to be open to seeing it.  We need to add enough space to let it in.  Beauty is all around us.  It is everywhere, not just in the so-called works of art.  There is magical beauty in the smallest of things everywhere.  Everything was created in that stillness.  The truest of beauty is in the lines on an elderly face, the wag of a dog’s tail, the way the sunlight hits the sink full of dirty dishes, laughter, smiles, eyes, the book in your hands, the sound of your child calling “Mom”, kindness in any form, the mess you made having fun…beauty is everywhere.  We don’t have to wait for the sensational, we can see it everywhere.  We can let it wake us up to more of Life.

Today, in many ways, beauty has been reduced to idealized notions of what society deems beautiful.  It is actually rather frightening to see what is happening in the name of beauty.  That is not what we are talking about here.  We are talking about true works of Life.  God is experiencing himself in so many ways and through that experiencing, comes beauty.  We can bless our lives by looking with fresh eyes that are open to the beauty that surrounds us all the time.  We can help others see the beauty too.

Let’s take the time to touch beauty in a more meaningful way today and see how it changes our experience of life.  Let’s not wait for the big obvious moments, lets find it in the imperfection that is called Life.

Have fun seeing the beauty around you today, your soul knows how…today is the perfect day to spend more time with your soul.  Your soul is pure beauty!

Below is my son’s favorite poem, Little Things by Julia A. F. Carney.  The beauty in his five-year-old writing and the sweet joy he gets in reading this poem and knowing he is one of my favorite little things is simply stunning…to me, better than any masterpiece or work of nature I could ever encounter.

Little Things

Wishing you lots of joy in the beauty found in little things today and always!

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August 15, 2013

Spread Love Today…Everything Else is Fear

“The human emotional system can be broken down into roughly two elements:
fear and love.
Love is of the soul.
Fear is of the personality.”
~ Gary Zukav – from “Seat Of The Soul” ~

I distinctly remember the moment I learned that hate is fear.  It’s intriguing.  Even if we have never felt hatred, we have all seen it in its various forms.  It’s just fear?  Yep.  And then you go on to figure out that all those other behaviors and emotions that go along with anger, resentment, jealousy, sorrow, spite, judgment, arrogance, even loneliness (it’s a long list)…they all come from fear.  Once you connect those dots, it’s no longer just intriguing, it changes everything.

First and foremost, when you begin to see what is behind all of those terrible behaviors that come from fear based emotions, you can open your heart with forgiveness immediately to almost anything (truly anything as we get better and better at it…it takes practice).  When I deal with these less desirable attitudes and behaviors in people or just things you see around you that stem from them, right before I judge it or react to it, I do my best to remember what it really is.  I get a helpful little visual to remind me of what it really is…I picture a scared little child running to its mom for help.  Maybe it’s the mom in me, but I think of how awful it feels to be scared and how children instinctively run for mom when something frightens or hurts them.  Fear creates all kinds of toxic reactions when really the person just wants to be comforted by love.  Next time you are faced with toxic behaviors, remember that person just needs some love.  They are having a moment in fear…your love could bring them right out and you have plenty to spare…the more you give, the more you have to give.  You will know best how you spread love.  You don’t have to tell them you’re providing love for their fear (in fact, don’t do that, they don’t know it’s fear), you can give love simply by not judging them, by being a calm pure loving presence.

Practicing forgiveness in this way changes you and opens your heart.  Next place to practice it is with yourself.  Forgive yourself for your fear based emotions, attitudes and behaviors.  When we realize that all that stuff we sometimes think or feel, and even our actions that we are not proud of,  all just came out of fear…we can love the scared little child in us too.  Give yourself some love and move on.

Creating space around our choices and actions will allow us to practice spreading love and forgiving everything else.  When you put a breath or just a moment of stillness around your choices, you can choose love.  You can picture yourself standing in the middle and you can decide if you want to turn towards love or towards fear.  In every single thing you do, you can choose love or fear.  Even the thoughts you think, do you want them to be love-based or fear-based?  You can even choose the thoughts.

Another term for fear that I loved learning about is powerlessness.  Whenever you choose fear instead of love, you have chosen powerlessness and given your power away.  Your soul wants to live in love and knows that it is the most powerful force in the universe.  Your ego chooses fear and creates suffering for you and others.

There is no need to explain the behaviors and emotions that come from love, we all have a deep knowing and connectedness with those…they just feel good…your heart delights in them and your soul remembers them well.  Today, and always, let’s spread LOVE and forgive fear EVERYWHERE!  Have fun experimenting with how you spread love!

I am sending YOU so much love!

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August 13, 2013

Your Super Power Is Joy!

Last night as we were doing the nighttime routine getting the kids ready for bed, one child said something to the other and then came the annoyed frustrated reaction…we know how it goes with little humans (and many big ones too).  I bent down to get closer to my sweet six-year-old boy who was pretty agitated.  I wanted to ease his suffering.  I thought of superheroes.  We were in his room, so they were nearby.  I said to him “hey buddy, YOU have a super power.  Do you know what yours is?”  He looked at me with the sweetest surprised expression (still mad, but curious).  I told him, “Your super power is joy.  You have always had it.  From the moment we met you, you have always had the power of joy.”  I went on to explain, “Don’t give your power away or let it be taken, it’s your special super power.”  I whispered in his ear, “You always choose.”  We looked at each other for a moment, then I whispered it in his ear again.  He looked at me with understanding and knew what I meant.  He took his power back and returned to joy.  He has always been good at this.

Later I found myself thinking about that little interaction with my dear boy.  It had all happened so spontaneously.  I was grateful for that moment.  Then I realized that I have been getting that message from God through so many of the wonderful teachers and books and so many of Life’s lessons.  God has been whispering in my ear, “Your super power is joy.”  Love and joy are everywhere and they are accessible to us whenever we can be there.  Whenever we lose our joy, we have chosen to give it away.  We always choose!

As I continue my journey towards really living what I have learned and opening my heart to this amazing universe, I have found myself saying this in my prayers more often lately, “God, thank you so much for how it is all designed, for how amazing it truly is to be here.”  I can’t really articulate it in words very well, I just sit in awe and appreciation of the love and joy that is waiting for us in every single moment.

YOUR Super Power Is Joy!  Use it and spread it today!  Sprinkle it Everywhere!

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August 12, 2013

Mental Movie Making – Make Movies in Your Head or Live in Stillness and Inner Peace

“We can learn not to keep situations or events alive in our minds, but to return our attention continuously to the pristine, timeless present moment rather than be caught up in mental movie making.”
–Eckhart Tolle

When I first heard Eckhart Tolle talk about mental movie making some years back, I can’t say that I got what he meant right away.  It took some time and lots of mulling it over.  I remember hearing him give a talk and trying to figure it out on a conceptual level rather than the knowing inside me that would have understood right away.  Funny, I am sure the ego was wrapped up in all that mind chatter.

In a recent conversation I was having with a friend, I heard myself explain it so clearly.  I had been listening to my friend and feeling compassion for her suffering.  I was just really listening presently, I wasn’t thinking about what I would say, I was just really in the vibration of stillness and non-judgement and when it was my turn to respond to her, these words explaining the concept of mental movie making came through.  As she reacted with enthusiasm and excitement about how true and helpful that was, I also heard it and understood it so much deeper than I ever had before.  I heard my own words (or words borrowed from stillness really) and learned something more deeply from them.  It was like one of those hugs from the universe I believe in when you just feel so connected to everything.  It was such a lovely lesson that I thought I would share it here.

My friend had been describing dealing with a hard situation with a family member and sharing her disappointment over their actions, etc.  She felt very sure of her position and even more sure that the family member was doing others wrong.  The suffering she was creating for herself was obvious.  I wasn’t judging her for doing that or judging the family member for her actions (which can be easy to do), I was really just listening in presence and feeling compassion for her and then the right words came.

I said to her – We get to decide how we let things effect us.  When we interact with others, they have their perception of the situation, we have ours.  Neither one is true ultimately and neither one actually happened.  None of this “stuff” is actually happening, it is all in our minds.  It’s all a movie we are creating as we look through the veil of our perceptions.  In our movie we are the star and we have our supporting characters and guest appearances, etc.  In the other person’s movie, they are the star and we are their supporting actors or maybe just an extra.  Depending on the veil we look through and all the past experiences we bring with us, we decide how to interpret things and how much importance to give them.  Sometimes things just roll right out of our awareness and sometimes we obsess and keep the movie running and running and running.  We can make it get bigger and worse and keep it alive with all the movie creating in our heads.  None of it actually happened.  At about this point in the conversation she said “wow that is amazing, I never thought of it that way.”

We went on and had a lovely conversation, it is hard to explain the added depth in the discussion, it was just there.  When we concluded our conversation, I felt so peaceful and I had this knowing that we had really shared a moment of glimpsing a truer reality.  It was special and I was grateful.  Conversations and moments like this when we can ease suffering and grow consciousness are miraculous.

It can be easy to get caught up in mental movie making, it’s even thought to be normal and people go on consoling each other and adding to each others movies by agreeing with their version, etc.  Even in the exact moment of the very thing we think we are upset about, it didn’t happen.  It was just the way we created it in our head and someone else created a different version in their head.  No other mind saw it exactly the way we did.  Once we understand this we can step back and begin to figure out how we are creating these movies and keeping situations alive in our minds that never even happened.  We can begin to watch this happening and explore other options.  We can free ourselves from this false reality and gain peace and learn to dwell in the power of stillness rather than an ever-changing movie.

As I mentioned before, I had heard Eckhart talk about these things many times and I had been reading The Four Agreements and applying all of that wisdom as well.  I am so grateful for all of the great teachers presenting this information in so many different ways, yet saying the same thing.  We can continue to grow and grasp the teachings and then we can learn to live it.  When we hear ourself explain something more clearly than we had ever understood it, we know we tapped into the stillness that is Everything.  If we can listen and be still and let that voice come through then we can truly become more of our essential self and much less of our reactionary self…one response at a time.

I believe our judgements can block the real answers from coming through.  If I had been judging my friend for her feelings or the family member for hurting her so much, we may not have had that special moment when we could grasp a deeper truth.  It’s so worth all the searching and practicing and trying to chip away at the ego to have true moments of stillness like this one.  It wasn’t the little false sense of me that was able to stay away from judgments and touch the stillness, it was the big Me that is connected to everything.  It was the one that I have been trying to spend more time with and get to know more in stillness.  It was beautiful.  I highly recommend it and I know that it is always there waiting for us to enjoy.  We ALL have the ability to touch that very same stillness!

As we go out into the world today and always, lets practice living in stillness and turning towards presence rather than creating movies in our head that trap us in the past or take us to future worries.  Wishing you all love and joy!!!

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August 9, 2013

Make Your Weekend Last Longer and Have More Joy – With Timeless Presence

“The ego’s greatest enemy is the present moment, which is to say,
life itself.”  –Eckhart Tolle

We can all agree that it would be wonderful to have the weekends last longer.  Lets try it this weekend.  It is a good idea (or the most important thing in life…depending on how you look at it) to practice living in the moment whenever you can.  We all hear the buzz on it and try to do it at whatever stage in our journey we are at, maybe we can kick it up a notch this weekend.  Practicing presence can take the time out of the weekend and make it last so much longer.   It can bring more joy and peace to us and bless everyone and everything around us.

Ego work is required for true growth.  You can’t battle your ego, it will just grow with the extra attention and even if you do seem to win for a bit, it sneaks in the backdoor and grows itself by assuming the new identity of the one with the smallest ego and the most presence.  I want to use Live What You Know to share and try little ways of chipping away at the ego.  I believe that you can shrink your ego simply by turning the other way – towards love.  This weekend, lets turn completely towards the greatest enemy of the ego – the present moment.  In doing so, we will access Love and Life.  Everything will feel better and time will cease to exist, hence a longer weekend.  I know that true presence doesn’t know it’s the weekend…but, since our thinking mind does love a weekend, lets just give it a try!  Yay!

Wherever you are in your path of discovery, you can always improve your ability to access stillness in the present moment.  You may be simply noticing the silence between the words in a conversation or adding a breath before you speak or you may be meditating for two hours every morning.  We are all at the perfect place in our journey!  I am not an expert on these things but I have been profoundly interested in adding more present moment awareness since I heard about it seven years ago.  I have read and heard many of the experts and masters on the subject and I want to share their wisdom in little doses here whenever I can, both for bringing more peace and joy to others and also to keep myself in the spirit of growth and presence.

Knowing this stuff because I read it and heard it from the masters and living it are, of course, two different things, hence the whole Live What You Know focus.  To practice truly living what I know about presence this weekend, here are some helpful little tips I would give myself (and you if you’re open to the idea):

  • Meditate first thing in the morning – whatever skill level you are at, even one minute to touch stillness to feel what it is like to return to it throughout the day.
  • Pray – set your intention for presence and awareness, ask for help to stay in that vibration and truly experience each moment in awareness rather than mind activity.
  • Listen – use listening for a presence practice. Truly listen whenever anyone is speaking.  You can keep a present energy in the background and feel that while you listen, let any thoughts that try to creep in just float by.  Don’t think about what you are going to say next, just listen without thinking and still feel some presence.  Don’t give all your presence away while listening, just enough to listen well and stay present.  Great practice – changes how you experience yourself and others…and everything.
  • Breath – add more breath all the time.  It’s not really adding breath, because you’re already breathing, its noticing your breath.  Noticing one breath before you speak can take you from reactionary living to present living.  It is a great practice to remain present and be.  Reactions are not present, they do not have the power of presence behind them.  Reactions to what others say and do give your power of presence away.  One breath to bring you to presence before reacting or speaking can change everything.  It’s a great way to take the ego out of your interactions.
  • Joyful Living – get all the way into the moment and find the joy there.  It is there!  I promise.  Even if it’s tying your kids shoe or doing the dishes, there is something to enjoy.  You can look your kid right in the eye and get a giggle and a connection as you tie their shoes or you can appreciate the way the water feels on your hands and the sunlight comes in the window as you do the dishes.  Whatever you do, the joy is there somewhere.  Isn’t it awesome that it was designed this way.  Do the joy experiment all weekend, you’ll find it.
  • Doing Meditations – You can turn anything into a meditation.  You just pick what it is and practice staying completely present the whole time.  It may be sorting the laundry, vacuuming the living room or brewing a cup of tea.  It may be a walk or writing a poem.  You truly can turn anything you do into a meditation.  Let any thoughts float by, you are the sky and the thoughts are the clouds – they pass.  Don’t jump on any of the clouds (thoughts), don’t resist them either, just watch them float by and your peace of mind increase.  This is also a great way to start watching your thoughts without being attached to them – they’re just thoughts…only the power you give them or don’t give them makes them what they are.
  • No waiting – waiting is awful.  If you find yourself in the situation where it seems like you’re waiting for something – a long line or the time for your next event, etc., just don’t do it.  BE instead of waiting.  Enjoy the present moment and realize the perfection in it as it is.  Realize that you do not need to add anything to it and life will not start once you are done waiting.  Life is already happening, waiting takes you out of it.  Not waiting is a great practice, you can focus on the breath or smile or just be and observe without adding a bunch of thoughts to it.  Waiting gives time so much power and takes you right out of the present.
  • Try something new – get into the unfamiliar.  It brings a heightened focus to what you’re doing and takes you out of the thinking mind.  Even if you just cook a new recipe that challenges you or take a walk on a new path, anything that is new and unfamiliar will bring more presence.  Simple excitements in the little things are the best!
  • Create – write, draw, color a picture, anything creative.  Releasing your creative energy and making something in presence is like offering a prayer.  The still place inside you is incredibly creative, touch it and be with it and see what happens.  Even just looking up how to draw something on the computer and following along can be a great experience if you’re not super confident in your artistic abilities.  Just make something, even a fabulous meal is a creative endeavor.  Touch the joy of creating!
  • Look without labeling – practice looking at the world around you without the lens of judgement.  Try to let go of labeling good or bad or even naming everything.  Even on a drive in the car, just be with all the things you see going by, you can experience the world in a whole new way without labeling what you see.  You can gain a lot of energy too because all the labeling we do is exhausting, just being and seeing without labeling can be a really comforting feeling and can bring us to a heightened sense of awareness and presence.
  • Embrace the uncomfortable – don’t turn away from feeling uncomfortable.  Often we feel a little uncomfortable and we cover it up quickly with one distraction after another.  Don’t resist the uncomfortable feeling, sit with it a minute in silence and watch it transform into joy!  It will!  The joy is in the stillness!
  • Smile – I love the simple practice of smiling.  When you truly feel your genuine smile, it does something to your heart.  You feel it deep in your heart and it changes how  you see everything.  Smile a lot and smile at everyone and everything!

Okay, that is my incomplete list of some tips that may help us have more joy and presence this weekend.  We may be able to have an ego-free weekend if we are doing all of this stuff.  Wouldn’t that be lovely!  Remember, presence isn’t something we can get better at later or when we’re more evolved.  The only time to get better at presence is NOW.  Flexing this skill and embracing these ideas can only have positive implications for the effects on our weekdays!  But, we will deal with that in that moment.

I just have to take a moment to thank you for reading this!  I am so very grateful for this platform and opportunity to share myself and encourage myself and others in this way.  I am just getting started and I can already feel the difference in my life!  I am so very grateful to you for taking the time to read my words from the heart…it is my true to desire to help us all live with more peace and joy!  I am also profoundly grateful for connecting with others who find these topics meaningful!  Thank you!

I send this with so much love!  I think I will read it several times this weekend to help me stay in the moment too!  I hope it helps you find more peace, joy and love!

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August 7, 2013

Growing Together…Not Growing Apart

Recently I was watching my husband as we were going about a lovely weekend day and this funny feeling came over me where I thought – it’s so cool that it’s you.  I was feeling how he is that same constant person I adore, but we have changed so much together over the years.  He is like a fresh and unfamiliar excitement, and at the same time, my most comfortable and familiar spot in the world.  What a great combination of feelings to feel for your spouse!  I began pondering how we got to this place and taking the time to feel the gratitude for such a gift.

As I looked back over the years, a few things jumped out that I think are worth sharing.  During the first years of our marriage, we were so busy with babies and providing for their needs, we never really had the opportunity to celebrate our anniversary.  This was fine, we were in survival mode and just embracing parenthood, it was a choice and we allowed that to be our priority.  Even though we weren’t pausing to celebrate our marriage, we were building a strong foundation for trusting each other and always being there for each other.  Becoming a parent is such a huge change; we had already begun our changing together and doing it well without even knowing it.  Our fifth anniversary was the first time we really celebrated.  We began a new tradition that year.  We made five promises for five years.  We spontaneously came up with five things we would try to do together or get better at, etc.  We put the list away and looked at it the next year to see how we did.  We didn’t obsess over it, just a guide for our discussion the next year when we made another list…six promises for six years.

One of the promises that has been on the list each year is how many books we commit to read together that year.  It turns out this was our magical promise!  This promise came naturally to us because we had already realized that when you read something that changes you or means a lot to you, you naturally want your spouse to read it to.  We had made this choice before and seen how important it is to honor what is meaningful enough to share with each other.  When we decided to take it up a notch and commit to a certain number of books each year, we were opening the doors to much more change and growth together.

One thing that was magical about the decision to read together each year was the magical way the universe sent us the perfect book selections for us.  We never chose ahead of time, we were just open to what came to us in a meaningful way.  It became exciting to see how the dots connect and messages are delivered when you’re open and ready and willing to see and hear.  It has been a delight to do this together.  As we go about our life, we are always on alert for what the universe is sending our way.  We are ready to embrace things together.

Another magical outcome of our little promise to each other to read meaningful things together was how much excitement it brought to our lives with being willing to try new things.  Our partnership on some of these meaningful discoveries allowed us to really implement changes for our family and changes in our way of seeing the world together.  We have embraced all kinds of new things and we have been up for them with excitement, here are just a few examples:

  • Switched to a Whole Foods, Plant-Based Diet – this was the first major change we did together as a result of reading.  We read enough to know this was what we wanted and we went for it.  This would have been impossible to do without the support of each other.  I love hearing my husband say how exciting it actually was to try something so completely different.  I think taking on this huge change together opened us up for many more new things.
  • Became Pyramid of Success Enthusiasts – this one was lovely for our family, it helped us teach the children about character what real success looks like – knowing you did your best.  It has shaped many areas of our personal success and family life.
  • Poetry – We have family poetry time each night.  It is a lovely part of the day we share with our kids.  We get to tap into a beautiful frequency in the world, it’s a gift…our reading led to this delightful practice (I will detail our poetry practice another time – we love it so much).
  • Quit/Limited Watching TV – somewhere along the line, we decided to quit watching television.  I am sure the reading and special family time with books had a lot to do with this.  After a few years, some specific mindful entertainment has come back in and of course tennis, but other than that, we remain a family who doesn’t watch television and it has enriched our lives in so many ways.  Just getting out of the habit of having the TV on helps.  Then when you do decide to watch it, it is more meaningful and exciting.  (confession – I do allow junky television to creep in sometimes during workouts…I figure one good choice cancels the other junky one…I feel better if I make it a meaningful choice, but I still choose the junk once in a while).
  • Great Discussions – as we grew our reading together and learning new things, our discussions have opened up so much and we have really become better versions of ourselves with much more interesting things to talk about.  It feels like purpose and really living and encouraging each other rather than just going through the days.
  • Meditation – we started this together.  One of us is better at it than the other…good job honey!  We both know how important it is for supporting growth and stillness and clarity.  We encourage each other to make time for it  and we teach it to the kids.
  • Prayer – we feel meditation is listening to God and prayer is speaking to God.  We are able to tap into the power of Life by learning and implementing these practices and our reading and openness got us to practice more regularly and know what we want to talk to God about.
  • Open Heart – I think this is what I noticed recently… the spirit of our hearts have changed together.  It feels like we were meant to be together and to bring out these changes in each other.  We are so very different (which is a good thing) and still have found such joy in making meaningful changes together.  Within our love we can feel how much more open we have become and it is stellar!
  • Unfamiliar – in our reading we came across this and it is amazing.  It is possible to become too familiar to feel what is going on around you.  We have been able to foster the comfort of our familiarity and still find new and exciting things together that allow us to see each other in new and unfamiliar ways all the time…keeping it thrilling!
  • Courage – we found courage to be more of ourselves.  We learned what fear really is and we support each other as we turn away from it and towards Life. We feel up for anything and more connected to life and everything  and everyone around us.  We have found a more soulful connection.

This is an incomplete list of just a few of the things that came out of one little promise we spontaneously made a few years back!  I am so very grateful.

Reading together and changing together doesn’t mean you see things exactly the same way, it means you make it more exciting by sharing your own point of view and listening to another.  It leaves enough room to grow and change together rather than apart and still be true to your own soul and honor your own journey.  Now that we have been doing this for a while we aren’t so strict about how many books we will read together each year…we just go with the flow and know that we will do it!

If you don’t have a spouse or partner, you can still do this practice with a dear friend or family member…just pick someone who loves you enough to support you becoming the best version of yourself.

Lets grow together and be courageous about change and trying new things!  Sending you so much love!

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August 5, 2013

Freedom From Being Right…or Wrong

“The ego is the false self – born out of fear and defensiveness.”
– John O’Donohue, Anam Cara

There is no right and wrong, only different ways of looking at things.  I am very interested in perception, I am sure it is a topic I will visit often here.  I love to try to open my heart by seeing things from various perspectives.  Anytime someone seems wrong, you can usually just try to see things from their perspective and then their actions make sense immediately.  You can save yourself from a bunch of mind torture over judgmental thoughts and you can love the other instead of seeing them as wrong.  Then you are reminded…there is no right or wrong, just different ways of looking at things.  After doing this for a while, you really don’t have to shift your perception anymore, you find a way to just BE and quit judging whether things are right or wrong or good or bad all the time.  A new freedom takes hold and it is magnificent!  Its living with an open heart rather than a fixed way of looking at the world!

We are so very connected to each other.  I know this is true and I believe that we all know it at the deepest part of our hearts.  There are some universal laws in play with this truth that are just happening whether we are aware of it or not.  How we treat others is exactly how we treat ourselves.  Hopefully we can all sort of agree on that; when we’re ready, we can take the idea a bit farther.  I am going to go ahead and mention one of the hardest things to truly learn that I have been working with over the past few years (and many more to come I am sure).  Here goes – you can only see in others what you have in yourself.  At first I thought this was a bit crazy and hard to accept…its hard to admit what we may have in us.  I have been working with it for some time now and I can see the profound truth in it and just how much it can help us grow in unexpected and delightful ways.  We truly can change the way we see the world as we change what we have in our minds and our hearts.  It’s a nice bonus that as we make meaningful changes inside and align our personality with our soul a bit more, simultaneously we will see the world in a new way as well.

As we go about changing what we focus on inside and how we see the world outside us, one thing that can help a lot is practicing freedom from being right.  This practice alone can help to change how you relate to your ego.  True growth and change requires ego work on many levels.  Finding little ways to live from love rather than our ego can lead from being imprisoned by a life lived from the ego’s perspective to a life lived with an open heart.  The joy of life doesn’t come from the ego, it comes from being One with Life.  There are many ways to learn about your ego and to turn away from it to make choices from stillness instead.  One thing you don’t want to do is attempt eradicating the ego, focusing on it will only allow it to grow.  We want to find little ways to turn towards stillness thus chipping away at the ego bit by bit.  Lets begin with simply giving up being right and see what we may gain from this practice.

What we may gain by giving up being right:

  • Better listening skills – if you are always concerned with being right, you cannot hear what others are saying.  If you think you’re right and they’re wrong, as soon as they speak, you will be thinking of what you will say next…not listening.  It is impossible to really be with someone if you cannot listen to them.  We would gain a lot more connectedness and enjoy people more with better listening.
  • Openness to other points of view – we may be surprised to see how good it feels to be open to ideas and unfamiliar things…it is really where the pulse of life is happening…the exciting stuff…Oneness with Life.
  • Freedom from defensiveness – if we don’t have to be right then we will be okay with others thinking we’re wrong.  What a relief that can be.  If we don’t have to worry so much what others think…then we begin to tap into true freedom.
  • Energy – it is exhausting to be right.  There is so much convincing to do and proof to gather.  You have to waste so many words and so much energy trying to change someone else’s point of view.  Imagine if you spent that energy just being open and listening…you would have boundless energy to spend on something more productive and creative.
  • Freedom from gossip and other toxic activities – gossip is all about what others are doing wrong and how we know what is better or right.  The whole “can you believe he/she did that?” – if we weren’t busy figuring out who was right and wrong and judging everything we wouldn’t ever find ourselves in those types of conversations.  If we didn’t need to convince others that we had been wronged, we wouldn’t have to talk about other people to hear how right we are.  We would come from a place of knowing better than talking about others choices.  We would have more room in our hearts to send love to people without judging them.
  • A clearer mind – if you can free your mind from all the thoughts it has about being right and making others wrong, you would open the doors to a lot of stillness and beauty in life.  You would see things more clearly and experience life in a new way – from stillness.
  • Meet more open and loving people – how we treat others is how we treat ourselves.  If we are someone who likes to be right, then we will find ourself making others wrong.  Because we are all so connected, it is just like making yourself wrong.  It will come back around to us…for sure.  People don’t enjoy being around people making others wrong, it hurts us all.  If we can clean this up and see the best in people, people will see the best in is us and we will encounter miraculous relationships with open and loving people.
  • Courage – anything would be possible without the fear of being wrong, we could re-direct all that energy to doing what we are meant to be doing.
  • Peace – seeing the good in others and treating others and ourselves with kindness can bring nothing but more peace into our life…what is better than that?!

What we may lose by giving up being right:

  • A bigger stronger ego – the ego loves loves loves to be right and make others wrong.  Every time it does so, it grows a bit and gets a stronger hold on its own identity.  It gets more of the mind activity attention and gets us to turn from love and towards a stronger ego.

Wishing us all a loving and open heart as we go about our days without being right.  Wishing you no “should-ing” on anyone and in return no one “should-ing” on you.  May you be comfortable with the not-knowing in life.  Be kind to yourself as you practice – as thoughts pop into your head ready to make right or wrong, remember, it’s just a thought and you don’t have to identify with it, just let it pass and turn towards love instead.  Lets make the world a little kinder!  Sending you love!

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August 2, 2013

Compassionate Parenting

THE SUN NEVER SAYS

Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to the earth,

“You owe
Me.”

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky.

-Hafiz

We put so much into our kids.  We love them so much and we do so much for them.  It can start to feel as though they owe us something or we deserve their respect, etc.   I want to be like the sun and just shine love on my children and not expect anything in return.  I also want them to be kind and loving people with great character and good manners who always do their personal best and see the best in others, so it can get tricky!

Parenting is the hardest job on earth (here is where I am supposed to say that it is also the most rewarding job – yes it is that too!).  It is easy to take things personally with our kids or feel like their choices are a reflection of us.  When they don’t do something they are supposed to do or make what seems like a bad choice, or require us repeating ourselves two thousand times, or are just plain rude to us, its easy to take it personally and let it bring us out of the place where we want to parent from…compassionate presence.  We don’t have to take it personally!

The truth is they are their own little people and they are doing the best they can to live what they know at their young age.  The more love and compassion they see, the more likely they are to be loving compassionate beings themselves.  Today, I commit to being the love and light for them no matter what choice they make; I will show them love through my non-reactions and present love and treat them exactly as I want to be treated.  I don’t have to take it personally if they lose their mind for a bit or make seemingly silly choices.  I don’t have to let my ego step in and think they owe me a bunch of respect.  Love is the answer and I choose to dwell in it!

I love my little ones so much, I can be intense about teaching them all I can, expecting a lot from them and then overreacting when it doesn’t go well.  As far as living a non-reactionary life, it is a tricky business when it comes to parenting.  I feel like it is the best spiritual practice around.  I don’t always react the way I want to, but I do my best.  When my best isn’t so good, I try to forgive myself; guilt is a waste of time and energy.  Kids are really forgiving, we can learn that from them.  I never hesitate to tell them I am sorry about my reaction if it isn’t so great.  They always say “its okay” even when I know it isn’t and I should have done better.  We sometimes do a little re-play (like a do-over)…I tell them okay do that or say that again and we’ll do it better.  We actually act it out as the best version of ourselves.  Then my true compassionate response can come through.  It helps me practice and allows them to see my true intention…love.

Kids are very intuitive, they can feel what we are feeling.  They know if we’re present and giving them our full attention.  They know if we are annoyed or impatient or if we are truly being in the moment and going with the flow.  Parenting really is the ultimate spiritual practice!  As far as not reacting to what happens, we may have our external reactions under control…but if we are resisting things inside and giving our peace away, our kids can feel it.  Even if we don’t react externally, if we aren’t at peace and coming from compassion and love, we are still reacting.  First step – external reactions, second step internally keeping our peace of mind and not giving our peace away whenever things don’t go our way or the kids don’t do exactly what we had hoped.  If we can model this for our children, imagine what they will become.

What I really want for my children is for them to feel love and compassion from their mother all the time, no matter what happens.  I want to bring the best out of them with love.  What I really want for myself is inner peace that remains no matter what is happening with my kids reactions and choices.

It should be noted that a lot of practice with staying present in the moment is essential for true compassionate parenting…stay tuned for many more posts on presence and the moment and inner peace.

Wishing you all love and compassionate presence in all that you do.  Think of that great poem by Hafiz above when you see the sun today!  Love it!

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August 1, 2013

A Well Lived Day – Your Masterpiece…The Morning.

“Make Every Day Your Masterpiece.”  –John Wooden

One day is the perfect metaphor for a lifetime.  We wake up, we live the day, we return to the source to regenerate.  For our lifetime, we are born, we live our life, we return to the source.  If we can live our day well, we can live our life well.  Coach Wooden said it so simply – “Make Every Day Your Masterpiece.”  It is simple and at the same time, it is profound and life changing.  How would you spend the day if it was to be your masterpiece?  I believe it is worth figuring out and going for… we never know how many days we will have and the days we are given truly are a gift.  Our days are precious; we create and design our lives with them.  If we can figure out what our Masterpiece day would look like, then we can take the steps to live it each day.  A well lived day will be an on-going topic at Live What You Know, lets begin with the morning.  My Masterpiece Morning for a regular day would look something like this:

  • First thing – a nice cuddle with my husband – just a few special moments before we begin the day (he leaves incredibly early, so those few moments are precious)
  • Up before dawn, see the sun come up, see the birds and the rays of light (or just take in nature depending on the weather), feel connected to it, rested and ready to start my day
  • Workout –  something to get the energy flowing and body moving – build strength and health, help the soul return to a body that is ready
  • Shower and put on comfortable morning clothes
  • Meditate and pray – touch the stillness and set the intention for the day
  • Coffee and writing – create from the stillness where all true creativity comes from
  • Post a meaningful blog that touches many people and inspires a great day for others as well as myself (not every day – but when the post is there)
  • Be ready to greet the kids as they wake with joy and present energy – take in their beings as they start their day…fun cuddle time.
  • Healthy breakfast with great conversation and very present energy where the kids and I set the foundation for making it a wonderful day
  • INSERT REST OF MASTERPIECE HERE – with a morning like the above – anything is possible!

So, that would be my masterpiece morning.

The morning is the most important part of ensuring a well lived day.  First of all, we want to live our life…we don’t want life to live us.  As a recovered “night person” and someone who loves to sleep, I don’t say this easily.  It takes a lot for me to stay in the vibration that allows me to make the most important decision of the day – get up real real early and get out ahead of the day and start it your way.  As you can see, my idea of a perfect day includes a lot of things before the kids get up (or before others are requiring something from me – for you it may be work, etc.), the point is to start your day with plenty of time for yourself as you begin to design the day.  I know for sure that this is essential to a well lived day.  I have been on and off this wagon so many times, certainly enough to see that doing it is the best choice and it really does set the tone for the day!  Otherwise life can take you for a ride and you are out of the driver seat and off and running in the direction of what everyone else wants from you.

Figure out what makes the morning a masterpiece for you.  Include time to at least set your intention for the day.  Some quiet time that allows you to feel the stillness that is behind everything will change your life.  Even just meditating for a few minutes and praying to whomever you pray to (God, Universe, whatever you call it).  The stillness you touch will stay in your background, it will be there when you need it later on.  You can access it to add space around your choices and live in the vibration of your soul…with purpose and presence rather than reaction.  It will make you better at everything you do.  The prayer will remind you of your intention for the day and allow you a chance to ask to be used in the service of life…you can feel more connection to everything around you throughout the day just by taking a few minutes in the morning to ask for it.  If you’re not used to morning prayers, just a few statements to yourself will do…its the same thing (another topic for another day).

Creating these habits and a great morning practice that works perfectly for you takes time and patience and lots of tweaks.   There was a period where I really had it down and it changed my life…it created my best year ever…ah, 2010.  As the kids got older and new commitments came in for them I let new obligations get in the way of my mornings and lost the ability to make it a priority…I just couldn’t quite figure out how to get it all in.  Since that time I have been sporadic about keeping it up.  I can see the effects of that on my life.  I am ready to give myself the gift of living what I know in the mornings consistently.  Wish me success!  I wish you success too!

The first step is admitting that getting up earlier to do it is necessary and will enhance your life in countless ways.  As they say…the first step is admitting it.  Lets admit it and then have a go at doing it and making it stick.  Admit it, try it, keep doing it if you already are, try even earlier if there is more you want to do…wherever you are on the subject… Happy Early Mornings!  Be kind to yourself with setbacks!!!

PS – it should be noted that masterpiece mornings require changes at nighttime too…stay tuned for more about creating your masterpiece evening.

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