Religion and Spirituality | Live What You Know

December 31, 2013

Honor The Little Things and Big Things Will Happen

It is in the air right now…setting goals, making resolutions, trying to make changes. This is all fine and can be a lovely experience…until it isn’t. For this process to go well, it is important to remember, it is the little things that make success possible. All things are made up of lots and lots of little things that connect to each other in ways beyond our imagination. Honoring the little things we do brings more awareness and roots us in presence that allows us to live a conscious and authentic life. Doing little things well, with our fullest attention and awareness can keep us awake to life and bring peace to us and everyone around us. The intention we put behind each little thing comes back to us in direct proportion. Let’s talk about socks…

Little things done well is probably the greatest secret to success. –Coach John Wooden

Coach Wooden has shared many great lessons about the little things and paying attention to detail. Coach describes paying attention to detail as the difference between champions and near champions. In many of his books, he gave us the beautiful story of how he instructed his players to put on their socks. At the first squad meeting each season, he personally demonstrated with explicit detail how to start with the toes, how to run your fingers along the side to prevent wrinkles, how to handle the heel and much more (it is actually quite a long explanation). He would demonstrate and then watch each player do it. Then he would move on to the other foot and do that one, first demonstrating, then watching. Next, how to tie your shoes. He speaks passionately about preventing blisters and avoiding laces coming undone.

In various interviews with Coach’s players, they share their perspective of the sock lessons. They recall being excited and ready to have their first meeting with the greatest coach of all time. With enthusiastic anticipation, waiting to hear how they would win the championship, how he had been so successful, the secret to winning, etc., anxious to get down to those legendary practices, they would soon find themselves learning how to put on their socks. They would start the season with intense sock training and end winning the championship; quite a powerful lesson on little things.

Coach left a great gift behind by recounting his dedication to the little things for us. He planned his practices down to the second. He was all about proper preparation and attention to the smallest detail. No matter what success his team encountered, he always stayed true to his Pyramid of Success, living all of the little things explained within and doing his personal best in all things (big and small). He started every single season with the socks.

I have heard Eckhart Tolle talk at great length about noticing how it feels to pull on your pants, how to feel the fabric on your skin, how to experience every part of getting dressed in the morning, bringing presence to it all. He talks about truly experiencing our morning shower instead of not really being there because we have allowed our mind to distract us with thoughts about the day or worry about the past. He describes the difference in really being there and feeling the water hit our skin and the joy of that everyday experience we so often miss.

Thich Naht Hanh tell us, “Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this moment is life.” I have heard him describe the experience of tea. It is lovely. When asked how long it takes him to drink a cup, he said it was about an hour. A mindful cup of tea is an hour well spent.

If you do little things well, you’ll do big ones better.

I have a plaque on my desk that says the quote above. It has no name attached to it; someone said it, someone made the plaque. I am grateful they did. It is a nice reminder.

Years ago, my son found his favorite poem. He recited it quite frequently, even in front of his preschool class. It just so happens, it is called Little Things. It is by Julia A. F. Carney. I included this image below in a previous post about Beauty. To me, this is a beautiful image because it is my boy’s sweet young writing and because the words are so powerful and contain so much wisdom. On his own, at three years old, he connected to these words and repeated them countless times throughout our days. That little thing he did for us was really a huge blessing.

Nothing big can happen without countless little things happening just as they should. We create and design our world with each and every little thing we do. This isn’t about doing things perfectly, there is no such thing. It is about bringing presence to everything we do and doing it with our fullest attention and awareness. It is also about learning how to set goals that will allow enough room to keep all the little things in sharp focus. I have noticed how awful it feels when I cannot do things to the best of my ability and with my full attention. I would rather choose not to do something than have to rush through and half-way go through the motions. My soul knows about the little things and what grounding myself in them feels like, anything less is numbing, inauthentic and brings suffering.

Doing the little things well is truly living, it’s really being where we are and honoring every little detail. All the little activities, choices, thoughts, etc., turn into how we are creating the world we live in. Treating every little thing as sacred brings more presence, more love, more peace, more joy, more miracles, more alignment with our soul’s purpose — more of everything we are meant to live. As you set your goals and resolutions this year, be sure you have enough room for honoring the little things. Those little things add up, multiply and come back to bless you in countless ways — big and small.

May the goals you set for yourself this year be blessed with the proper attention, awareness and presence for honoring the little things necessary to achieve them. Wishing you joy and presence found in putting on your socks, pulling up your pants, taking a shower and drinking a cup of tea. Sending you love!

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December 25, 2013

Peace and The Golden Rule

Merry Christmas To All!

Jesus’ living example of what it looks like to live the golden rule and in peace that passes all understanding is a magnificent gift for everyone to see. It is a beautiful thing to look at how Jesus lived so that we can see all we are meant to be. We can be kind to everyone we meet, without exception. We can love everything without fear. We can cast aside all judgements as we embrace, encourage, welcome or at least accept, all things. We can be infused with peace that comes from within and isn’t shaken or changed by life’s circumstances or situations, no matter what form they come in. That spark of love in us all can make these things possible; Jesus came and showed us how.

Wishing everyone abundant peace that comes from living with a kind and open heart rooted deeply in joyful being and sacred listening to Life’s miracles. From my heart — thank you for visiting me here!

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December 22, 2013

Stillness and Spaciousness – Making Room For It Throughout Our Days, Living From It…It Isn’t a Future Goal or Luxury When Time Allows…It’s Who We Truly Are

In the journey of life, all roads worth traveling point to the stillness and going within. Life cannot be lived well or peacefully focused without. It doesn’t work.

“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” ―Eckhart Tolle

Spaciousness is essential to realizing who we are and where true peace comes from. As we put more space around everything — every choice, every word, every action, every emotion… we open up more room for peace and the experience of stillness to take hold. The space and stillness is who we really are, it isn’t empty space, it’s where our essential selves are. All the rest is our personality covering over the real us. We can spend a lot of time working on the personality and training it to be all kinds of things, but, underneath it lies a joy and peace that we are all meant to dwell in. This is the connectedness we share with all things.

We have all experienced how a few deep breaths can allow us to make a much better choice by cooling our temper or gathering our courage before a bad choice or reaction. That breath took us to who we really are and allowed more of our true self to emerge and make the better choice. We can work hard on our self-control, which is important; but, we must allow our self-realization to emerge so that we can live in the peace and joy as a permanent state of being.

We can put more space around each and every thing by really experiencing it, from the most challenging situation, to the sweetest gesture from a loved one and everything in between…simply being there with it in a more meaningful way, with a lot of pause and breath and attention. It is the path to joy and peace. Avoiding things or distracting ourselves from things we don’t like only keeps us stuck in the repetitive lessons of a shallow life. Judging and labeling situations and people robs us from our peace and joy by keeping us swirling in our thoughts about things instead of immersed in life and being; those thoughts keep us from the space and stillness. Accepting whatever comes our way and giving it the most of us will deliver us to our truest selves.

“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ― Eckhart Tolle

I haven’t yet mastered the ability, nor found the time to sit on my meditation mat for hours each day. Sometimes I wish I was better at it and could give more time to it, then I remember that there will be time for that. I am sure of it. I understand that I am in this busy time of life right now with so many different roles, goals, responsibilities and others counting on me, etc., and that is all just as it is meant to be. I don’t have to wait for more space and stillness in some future that would allow more time, I can use my life situation just as it is now to bring more space and stillness to all that I am doing. I can use all the little “doings” in my life to allow more of my essential “being” to emerge. This is my practice.

“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being.” ―Eckhart Tolle

To live a life of non-reaction means to live more deeply from your essential being. It is so easy to let the personality respond to every little thing; it is also a dreadful way to live. Adding space and stillness as you accept what comes is what can allow you to skip reacting and shift to being. It amazes me how often I stumble into the truth that it is all in the little things. I have heard that lesson from countless teachers, poems, quotes, signs, etc. I tell my kids, “This family has big ideas, but we implement them with our little choices again and again.” It is a great practice to honor all the little things…

“The significance is hiding in the insignificant. Appreciate everything.” ―Eckhart Tolle

Loving all little things and honoring them with enough space to be is a great practice. Slowing down to be with each little thing. Add a breath before and after everything. Feel things more deeply. Before you do or say or think anything, just be. All the doing can become more miraculous. Life can feel more meaningful; the key is in honoring each and every little thing you do…it all connects to the next moment. Everything is sacred. Cherish everything.

“Doing is never enough if you neglect Being.” ―Eckhart Tolle

There are many practices that can help bring more stillness and spaciousness to our days. Many have gone before us and provided wonderful examples and paths for us. Our souls lead us to the best path for us. All paths lead to the same place. There is no need to wait until we can be great at our spiritual practice and fashion it after the great teachers before us. We can just BE with the truest part of ourselves right where we are at doing whatever we are doing. Yesterday, I found my space and peace (which had escaped me for a bit) by sitting in the middle of my son’s self-created game of “Airport” in which all his cars were in various lines waiting to take off on one of his planes. He was completely immersed in the joy of playing and happy to share this imaginary world he had created. He shared it with me so joyfully. His playtime was naturally in the peace and joy that we all have waiting for us; I joined him there and blessed my soul with really truly being there. He had set his game up right in front of my bedroom door; I was simply passing through. I could have walked right though that amazing moment; instead, I stopped and found my soul right in the middle of his “Airport.”

I am wishing us all the wisdom to stop and be where we’re at and cease walking through the precious moments we are meant to experience. I am wishing us spaciousness and stillness as a permanent companion so we can truly feel who and what we are and live in the peace and joy that has always been there waiting for us.

Thank YOU for visiting me here! This is an important part of my practice and your visit honors it and encourages me so very much!

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December 18, 2013

Just Right — Letting Go of the Ups and Downs

Years ago when I began watching my thoughts and making the connections between my mind and my life, I noticed all sorts of interesting things. The work itself is in not becoming attached to the myriad of thoughts that are constantly coming our way; it’s noticing the thoughts floating by like clouds trying to get our attention and being okay with letting them pass…not resisting them, just choosing well which ones we allow in. When we do give certain thoughts our attention, they come down right in front of our face and grow and seem to hold us captive in their aura until we can release them. We are left sort of under the influence of whatever thoughts we have allowed to grow and take hold. I love this work and I understand the practice it is to remember it fresh in every moment. What about the emotions…what do we do with them?

As I continued working with the thoughts and in-a-sense changing my mental habits or taking responsibility for the thoughts and energy I bring to all things, I noticed a lot of things about happiness in general. I was devouring books like crazy, trying new practices, praying for guidance and in general just working towards a joyful, purpose filled and meaningful life. Often, I would pack my babies up in the car and head out to start our day feeling like I could take on the world and remain in bliss all day. The mornings always felt fresh and ripe with possibilities for using all my new tools and truly living all I was learning. I distinctly remember the day I was driving in my car feeling like I was so very happy. I was thinking, “I am soooooo happy” over and over again. It was great, completely exhilarating! It wasn’t the first time I had done this of course, but I remember the day that the help for this condition came. The happy thoughts were followed by a clear voice (my own voice from a deeper place) saying something along the lines of, “Wait, relax, don’t do that, just be here, just be okay with here.” I found myself breathing and grounding myself in something deeper behind the “happy” feeling.

I knew instantly that I didn’t want to jump on that happy train anymore. I could feel the knowing that if I did, I would inevitably find myself in the opposite direction later. It is no fun to come down from the happy and find yourself on the other side. I was growing very tired of that. I could see the rhythm and pattern emerging out of the clouds for me. I wanted out of the thoughts about how I feel and into the practice of living in the middle way. Living — just right. It was a strange feeling to know that I didn’t want to achieve that “happy” feeling anymore. I was sure though. I wanted to dwell in the real peace and joy that can sustain all things. I felt ready to release myself from the ups and downs. I caught myself that day and grounded myself in the joy that lives in the moment without over thinking it and labeling it or my mood. The real joy and peace isn’t in the extremes.

It makes sense. If I go around attached to the idea that “I am so happy”, then anything that challenges that idea or brings me back down to dealing with life’s little challenges, choices and behaviors creates massive resistance. I would be so attached to my “happy” that anything threatening it would be most unwelcome and incite all kinds of reactions I don’t want to succumb to. The “happy” brings resistance and struggle, making it very difficult to live each moment joyfully the way we are meant to live. The peace behind the happy that is “just right” allows all things to be as they are and isn’t dependent on what happens. Whatever happens is just right. Whew!

I continue the work to this day of course…chipping away at it as I go, grateful for all the progress, as well as all the work ahead. The joy is in the journey. I fall often, dust myself off, and get back into the stream of life that I know is always there waiting for me.

Sending you love and joy and wishing you a day full of all things just right!

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November 4, 2013

A Clear Mind

My new morning mantra…

Today, I go out into the world with a clear mind. I leave all thoughts behind.

I spotted a great quote recently that inspired it…

When I walk out into the world, I take no thoughts with me. That’s not easy, but you can learn to do it. An empty mind is hungry, so you can look at everything longer, and closer. Don’t hum! When you listen with empty ears, you hear more. And this is the core of the secret: Attention is the beginning of devotion.” –Mary Oliver

Last Monday morning, I was driving the children to an activity and I paraphrased Mary Oliver’s lovely words above sharing where I had seen them. I then naturally turned them into my new mantra. I kept saying, “Today, I go out into the world with a clear mind. I leave all thoughts behind.” Next thing I knew I was looking at things fresh and clear and miracles were appearing before my eyes. Simply from looking at them with a clear mind. The miracles are always there and God and the Divine are always ready for us to show up and see them, experience them, and BE them.

On that Monday morning before I had used my mantra, I did have things on my mind that seemed to need my attention. I even had a few things I thought needed fixing or my own interference really. After using my mantra and then truly entering the day’s activities with fresh eyes, open ears, and a clear mind with pointed attention…nothing needed my “fixing” anymore. I was simply left grateful and alive.

This weekend someone asked me, “Where do you fellowship?” I said, “Everywhere. I love looking for the Sacred in Everything.” This is my devotion.

Mary Oliver was right…It isn’t easy to take no thoughts with you. She was also right when she said you can learn to do it. It begins with watching the thoughts and then finding your way to quieting them. The joy is in the still, open, attention.

This morning and always, I wish you a clear and open mind to experience the miracles that are ready for you. You don’t have to take expectations with you anywhere you go or into anything you do. Sending you love and joy!

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October 18, 2013

Make Your Weekend Last Longer and Have More Joy – With Timeless Presence

This post is one of my favorites. When I originally posted it, my little family had a magnificently present weekend. This weekend is a celebratory one at our house, so I wanted to re-read it myself and send it out in love to bless your weekend as well. Share it with your loved ones to bless their weekend too! Wishing you the ability to dwell in the joy found in presence! Happy everything!

“The ego’s greatest enemy is the present moment, which is to say,
life itself.” –Eckhart Tolle

We can all agree that it would be wonderful to have the weekends last longer. Lets try it this weekend. It is a good idea (or the most important thing in life…depending on how you look at it) to practice living in the moment whenever you can. We all hear the buzz on it and try to do it at whatever stage in our journey we are at, maybe we can kick it up a notch this weekend. Practicing presence can take the time out of the weekend and make it last so much longer. It can bring more joy and peace to us and bless everyone and everything around us.

Ego work is required for true growth. You can’t battle your ego, it will just grow with the extra attention and even if you do seem to win for a bit, it sneaks in the backdoor and grows itself by assuming the new identity of the one with the smallest ego and the most presence. I want to use Live What You Know to share and try little ways of chipping away at the ego. I believe that you can shrink your ego simply by turning the other way – towards love. This weekend, lets turn completely towards the greatest enemy of the ego – the present moment. In doing so, we will access Love and Life. Everything will feel better and time will cease to exist, hence a longer weekend. I know that true presence doesn’t know it’s the weekend…but, since our thinking mind does love a weekend, lets just give it a try! Yay!

Wherever you are in your path of discovery, you can always improve your ability to access stillness in the present moment. You may be simply noticing the silence between the words in a conversation or adding a breath before you speak or you may be meditating for two hours every morning. We are all at the perfect place in our journey! I am not an expert on these things but I have been profoundly interested in adding more present moment awareness since I heard about it seven years ago. I have read and heard many of the experts and masters on the subject and I want to share their wisdom in little doses here whenever I can, both for bringing more peace and joy to others and also to keep myself in the spirit of growth and presence.

Knowing this stuff because I read it and heard it from the masters and living it are, of course, two different things, hence the whole Live What You Know focus. To practice truly living what I know about presence this weekend, here are some helpful little tips I would give myself (and you if you’re open to the idea):

Meditate first thing in the morning – whatever skill level you are at, even one minute to touch stillness to feel what it is like to return to it throughout the day.
Pray – set your intention for presence and awareness, ask for help to stay in that vibration and truly experience each moment in awareness rather than mind activity.
Listen – use listening for a presence practice. Truly listen whenever anyone is speaking. You can keep a present energy in the background and feel that while you listen, let any thoughts that try to creep in just float by. Don’t think about what you are going to say next, just listen without thinking and still feel some presence. Don’t give all your presence away while listening, just enough to listen well and stay present. Great practice – changes how you experience yourself and others…and everything.
Breath – add more breath all the time. It’s not really adding breath, because you’re already breathing, its noticing your breath. Noticing one breath before you speak can take you from reactionary living to present living. It is a great practice to remain present and be. Reactions are not present, they do not have the power of presence behind them. Reactions to what others say and do give your power of presence away. One breath to bring you to presence before reacting or speaking can change everything. It’s a great way to take the ego out of your interactions.
Joyful Living – get all the way into the moment and find the joy there. It is there! I promise. Even if it’s tying your kids shoe or doing the dishes, there is something to enjoy. You can look your kid right in the eye and get a giggle and a connection as you tie their shoes or you can appreciate the way the water feels on your hands and the sunlight comes in the window as you do the dishes. Whatever you do, the joy is there somewhere. Isn’t it awesome that it was designed this way. Do the joy experiment all weekend, you’ll find it.
Doing Meditations – You can turn anything into a meditation. You just pick what it is and practice staying completely present the whole time. It may be sorting the laundry, vacuuming the living room or brewing a cup of tea. It may be a walk or writing a poem. You truly can turn anything you do into a meditation. Let any thoughts float by, you are the sky and the thoughts are the clouds – they pass. Don’t jump on any of the clouds (thoughts), don’t resist them either, just watch them float by and your peace of mind increase. This is also a great way to start watching your thoughts without being attached to them – they’re just thoughts…only the power you give them or don’t give them makes them what they are.
No waiting – waiting is awful. If you find yourself in the situation where it seems like you’re waiting for something – a long line or the time for your next event, etc., just don’t do it. BE instead of waiting. Enjoy the present moment and realize the perfection in it as it is. Realize that you do not need to add anything to it and life will not start once you are done waiting. Life is already happening, waiting takes you out of it. Not waiting is a great practice, you can focus on the breath or smile or just be and observe without adding a bunch of thoughts to it. Waiting gives time so much power and takes you right out of the present.
Try something new – get into the unfamiliar. It brings a heightened focus to what you’re doing and takes you out of the thinking mind. Even if you just cook a new recipe that challenges you or take a walk on a new path, anything that is new and unfamiliar will bring more presence. Simple excitements in the little things are the best!
Create – write, draw, color a picture, anything creative. Releasing your creative energy and making something in presence is like offering a prayer. The still place inside you is incredibly creative, touch it and be with it and see what happens. Even just looking up how to draw something on the computer and following along can be a great experience if you’re not super confident in your artistic abilities. Just make something, even a fabulous meal is a creative endeavor. Touch the joy of creating!
Look without labeling – practice looking at the world around you without the lens of judgement. Try to let go of labeling good or bad or even naming everything. Even on a drive in the car, just be with all the things you see going by, you can experience the world in a whole new way without labeling what you see. You can gain a lot of energy too because all the labeling we do is exhausting, just being and seeing without labeling can be a really comforting feeling and can bring us to a heightened sense of awareness and presence.
Embrace the uncomfortable – don’t turn away from feeling uncomfortable. Often we feel a little uncomfortable and we cover it up quickly with one distraction after another. Don’t resist the uncomfortable feeling, sit with it a minute in silence and watch it transform into joy! It will! The joy is in the stillness!
Smile – I love the simple practice of smiling. When you truly feel your genuine smile, it does something to your heart. You feel it deep in your heart and it changes how you see everything. Smile a lot and smile at everyone and everything!

Okay, that is my incomplete list of some tips that may help us have more joy and presence this weekend. We may be able to have an ego-free weekend if we are doing all of this stuff. Wouldn’t that be lovely! Remember, presence isn’t something we can get better at later or when we’re more evolved. The only time to get better at presence is NOW. Flexing this skill and embracing these ideas can only have positive implications for the effects on our weekdays! But, we will deal with that in that moment.

I just have to take a moment to thank you for reading this! I am so very grateful for this platform and opportunity to share myself and encourage myself and others in this way. I am just getting started and I can already feel the difference in my life! I am so very grateful to you for taking the time to read my words from the heart…it is my true to desire to help us all live with more peace and joy! I am also profoundly grateful for connecting with others who find these topics meaningful! Thank you!

I send this with so much love! I think I will read it several times this weekend to help me stay in the moment too! I hope it helps you find more peace, joy and love!

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September 24, 2013

Nurturing The Souls Around You…Including Your Own

Daisies
by Bliss Carman (1861-1929)

Over the shoulders and slopes of the dune
I saw the white daisies go down to the sea,
A host in the sunshine, an army in June,
The people God sends us to set our heart free.

The bobolinks rallied them up from the dell,
The orioles whistled them out of the wood;
And all of their singing was, “Earth, it is well!”
And all of their dancing was, “Life, thou art good!”

These days I know the importance of understanding that our peace comes from within. We cannot depend on what is going on around us to bring us the peace, love and connection to life that we seek. We must find it within. Having said that, I am learning that even though it is up to us to find it within, it is still important to acknowledge and understand how the souls around us are there participating in our soul journey as well. There is a oneness that is happening around us. We each have our individual soul and that individual soul is also part of the one soul. We have so much power within and we also connect to the souls around us at the same time.

The people around us are there for a reason. Those closest to us that are sharing their lives with us and that we have chosen to share our lives with are there to be cherished. With how busy our lives have become and how many things we have coming at us at once, it is important to remember to make soul care a priority. It is so healing to shift the focus to really building each other up and nurturing our souls. When we nurture the souls of our loved ones, we nurture our own. Sometimes it takes a shift. Life is busy and routines can set in. Taking the time to really show our loved ones how much we value them is good for them and good for us at the same time.

Sometimes, being a good spiritual partner means letting the other person work things out and grow through things on their own. Sometimes, being a good spiritual partner means being that soft comforting place and providing extra love and attention. Always, being a true spiritual partner means balancing the two. And, of course, love is always the answer.

Love those around you a little bit extra today and always. Let them love you back a little bit extra…even as you grow. Ask for what you need and give what you most want.

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September 19, 2013

Gratitude

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart

All that we behold is full of blessings. ~William Wordsworth

Gratitude is the memory of the heart. ~Jean Baptiste Massieu

My gratitude lately is almost overwhelming. The last two days have been incredible in so many ways. Nothing monumental happened and nothing unexpected came my way…but the gratefulness in my heart for what my life is all about has hit me like a ton of bricks. My kids and I started our new homeschool and household chores routine. I know. It doesn’t sound that thrilling. It is though. There are about a million things I can count and millions more I can’t see that had to come together and coordinate perfectly over many many years to have experienced the last two days the way I have experienced them. I have been brought to tears a few times just taking in all that was happening around me and realizing all that came before me to make it possible. Thank you God/Universe/Life for sending me the messages, blessings, support and courage to make all the choices we have made to be on the path we are on. We love our little path and we know it is ours…we are making it up as we go along with help from Everything!

I am so grateful I listened!

When you’re on the right path and you’re listening to life and charting your own course you not only love your path, you begin to love the path that everyone else has chosen as well. Feeling like your path is the right one or better than another choice is no longer possible when you’re full of love and gratitude for having found yours. You wish with all your heart that everyone finds and loves their path too. We’re all headed to the same place on different paths. It feels so comforting to love our path so much and see the beauty and joy in other paths as well. We can let go of judging as we create and enjoy our path and enjoy watching others do the same.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wishing you a heart full of gratitude! I am so very grateful you are visiting me here and I send you so much love, joy and gratitude!

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August 27, 2013

Seeing The Unfamiliar In The MOST Familiar Things

It is a shame how familiar we become with so much of our lives. It would seem that we would find comfort in the familiar…that is not the case. We completely check out and become numb to what is happening around us. We can’t see the people or places around us that have become too familiar, we see it all through a veil of our past observations, images and experiences. With the MOST familiar people and places in our lives it can do the most damage. We can be completely missing what is right in front of us…the very thing we love the most, we sometimes give our attention to the least. Learning about this concept from John O’Donohue in Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom was a gift in my life. The gift of seeing the unfamiliar in the most familiar things can wake us up to life. Life takes on a whole new energy when you can really do this. I have had experiences where I felt as if I snapped into attention and really saw my child’s face for the first time in too long. Children’s ability to notice this right away is really something to behold. I cherish those moments when I was really looking at them with unfamiliar eyes. I have also been thrilled to look at my husband and see him as if we were just getting to know each other; it’s so fun to experience the excitement of the early dating days…it just takes a little shift in attention. It takes practice to dwell in this for any length of time, but it is so worth trying to improve at it…life changing when we can do it.

Seeing the unfamiliar in the most familiar things doesn’t mean trying something new to wake you up. It is quite the opposite. It means really watching where you put your attention and what conditioned responses are running in your head. It takes watching your thoughts and not identifying with them. It takes letting those thoughts pass by so that you can create new and fresh ones that are found in the unfamiliar or the fresh moment. The truth is that no one is ever exactly the same as the last time you met them. I know for sure I am not. Sometimes I could just cringe at running into someone I knew well ten years or so ago…I think, oh my gosh they know me from two lifetimes ago… Even when we see people once a week, they are never the exact same person they were the last time you saw them. Allow this freshness to be there and try to see them fresh in the moment. With our MOST familiar people and places it takes the most heightened focus, but what it can do for those relationships and experiences is miraculous. Seeing only the familiar takes all the excitement out of life. Dare to see those closest and most familiar to you in new and unfamiliar ways.

I realized with my own children recently that I am the MOST familiar thing in their lives. I am the thing they have been the most familiar with for the entirety of their lives. I used to wonder why they would say and do things to me that they would never dream of doing to someone else. I struggled with why they save their exquisite manners and politeness for everyone else. It finally dawned on me that I am the MOST familiar thing to them and they are also the MOST familiar thing to me. We could spend our entire day responding to our ideas and images of each other rather than actually seeing and experiencing each other fresh in the unfamiliar. I want to really stop and listen to them and see the new expressions that cross their faces and the new things they are excited about. Just because I am so very familiar with them and so involved in everything they do doesn’t mean I am really seeing the unfamiliar and allowing myself to look at them with fresh eyes to spot new changes and truly hear what is important to them. It is something I have to practice, especially if I want them to do that for me. It is a terrible feeling as a mom to feel like you repeat yourself a million times and no one is listening. Argh. I think I have stumbled into a great truth. If I want them to look at me with fresh eyes and see me, then I must do that for them. This is true for the MOST familiar people and places as well as everyone and everything else too.

Wishing you the profound joy and fresh aliveness that comes with experiencing the unfamiliar in the MOST familiar things.

Below is one of my favorite passages from Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom, by John O’Donohue. What a gift!

Behind the facade of our normal lives eternal destiny is shaping our days and our ways. The awakening of the human spirit is a homecoming. Yet ironically our sense of familiarity often militates against our homecoming. When we are familiar with something, we lose the energy, edge, and excitement of it. Hegel said, “Das Bekannte uberhaupt ist darum, weil es bekannt ist, nicht erkannt”– that is, “Generally, the familiar, precisely because it is familiar, is not known.” This is a powerful sentence. Behind the facade of the familiar, strange things await us. This is true of our homes, the place where we live, and, indeed, of those with whom we live. Friendships and relationships suffer immense numbing through the mechanism of familiarization. We reduce the wildness and mystery of person and landscape to the external, familiar image. Yet the familiar is merely a facade. Familiarity enables us to tame, control, and ultimately forget the mystery. We make our peace with the surface as image and we stay away from the Otherness and fecund turbulence of the unknown that it masks. Familiarity is one of the most subtle and pervasive forms of human alienation.

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August 25, 2013

The Universe Went To A Lot of Trouble To Create This Exact Moment For You…Come To The Party

The Universe (God, Life, Love, All, Everything…) went to a lot of trouble to create this exact moment that you are experiencing. It has been arranging millions of things and designing perfection for you. It has then invited you to come. That is the case in every moment. Always. Each moment is perfectly created for exactly the right circumstances for you and the evolution of your soul. All we need to do is simply be there in the moment fully to experience the perfection we are meant to have. Unfortunately, we often skip the moment entirely by bringing past issues or experiences and future worries or stress with us in our minds that keeps us preoccupied and unable to BE where we are at fully. The moment that the Universe worked so hard for us to have is completely lost on us, we just can’t feel it. We are more blessed and loved than we can imagine because the Universe (God) loves us so much that at the very moment we miss yet another of its precious gifts it had picked out for us, it is already working hard to create another one to invite us to that is just as perfect. It lines up infinite details to create divine experiences for us and no matter how many moments we miss, it continues to invite us to the next one. Continuous understanding, compassion and invitations. Amazing!

Imagine if a loved one had decided to throw you a special party…they organized every last detail to make it the best celebration of your lifetime and you just didn’t show up. You just never went. When we live with constant distractions, mind chatter and stress, we just aren’t showing up at the party the Universe has planned for us. Lucky for us, the Universe will go on planning, arranging and coordinating the perfect experience for us…but, our soul longs to skip the detours and delays. It will all work out just as it should, but perhaps by understanding what we are missing we can truly focus on figuring out how we can show up at the party now. Let’s do everything we can to go to the party the Universe has planned for us…the joy.

Wishing you joy today and always! I know you can get to the party and feel the joy; my faith in you helps me feel I can dwell in the joy more often myself. Let’s Live It! We have people to meet, things to see, stories to hear, love to create, adventures to encounter…the joy is always waiting for us.

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Tag: Religion and Spirituality

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