The Way It Is
Love is always the answer. No matter what.
Whatever you’re doing, if it doesn’t feel good, it’s not working.
Love is available to access in every single moment.
Live What You Know
Waking up is more than it seems. You KNOW more than you've ever been "taught"! You chose to be here now. Make yourTRUEself proud!
Tag: kindness
August 23, 2013
Perception – Lessons For Children of All Ages
Perception is a wonderful lesson for children of all ages. It is so helpful to teach them to step back and consider different points of view. We want to raise kind compassionate children and teaching them the skill of looking from various perspectives is a great way to start. My daughter and I first began talking more deeply (past simple sharing) about perception in preschool when she was dealing with what seemed to her like a mean little girl. We discussed the other possible options or reasons why it may seem like she is being “mean” and tried embrace other scenarios, etc. We tried to put ourselves in her shoes and see things from her eyes. It helped. In the end, they became friends. These conversations continued throughout the years. It also helped me teach her to try not to take things personally and to always look for the good in others because it is always there.
Perception can open up so many things in life and you can take the lessons as far as you are willing to open up your mind. You can start with simply seeing things from another view-point and take it all the way to the ultimate illusions in life that we all experience. Ultimately, perception can lead you to constant peace. For children, just introducing and discussing the concept can free them from a lot of heartache that would stem from judging others and insisting they are right, etc. Some of these concepts may go over their head at first, but not for long. I figure it’s like songs written in consciousness, at first they just seem like catchy tunes and then as you change over time you hear the profound wisdom within and it’s like being hit over the head (I remember singing Imagine along with the radio one day and finally hearing the words I had memorized long before, I had to pull my car over I was so awestruck and thrilled to finally understand what was being said). I figure someday they will have a moment where it clicks and they will say, “Wow, that is what my parents were talking about.” Sometimes they surprise me and say something so profound I am sure they remember where they came from. I often wish I was as present as my son, so I am sure we are learning from each other.
My daughter and I have continued these conversations about perception over the years to help her embrace her compassion and willingness to see things from various points of view. We are a homeschooling family so we can spend a lot of time on subjects that interest us, it’s just one of the many perks. We have a lovely assignment we would like to share. This year we saw Wicked at the theatre and knew immediately we could make a great perception assignment out of it. My daughter already knew Wizard of Oz very well, she had seen the movie several times and played Oz in her children’s theatre production. Once we saw Wicked, it opened up an entirely different viewpoint of the story. We loved it and we spent a lot of time on her related essay about perception. Her essay is below. She was seven years old when she wrote it. We spent a lot of time having editing meetings and getting to this final draft. Another home school perk we enjoy is learning through editing and editing until we get to her personal best version. From a seven-year old point of view, it is just precious. It is a great lesson for us all.
Please enjoy the essay below on perception from my kind and compassionate daughter. I had to include this adorable title sheet she created.
Perception
People see situations in different ways. Perception means how you see things. This paper is all about how you look at things. The Wizard of Oz and Wicked are great examples of ways we can perceive things differently. My fright of the Wicked Witch of the West in Wizard of Oz was equally matched by my love for her in Wicked.
The Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz was so scary. The Munchkins were terrified of her. They were so scared that every time the Wicked Witch came they would hide from her. She always had this funny and terrifying laugh. Whenever she saw Dorothy she would say, “I’ll get you my pretty,” and then laugh afterwards. The Wicked Witch wanted to kill Dorothy and her friends Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man. She really wanted the ruby slippers badly and she would do anything to get them. She was completely terrifying and I felt so relieved when Dorothy melted her!
In Wicked, the Wicked Witch of the West was loveable! Her name was really Elphaba. She was born green and everyone was mean to her. She was smart. She took good care of her crippled sister Nessa. She wanted to help the animals. She tried to do good things but they did not go well for her. She was totally tricked by the Wizard of Oz and everyone thought she was bad even though she was good. She just wanted those ruby slippers to remember her sister.
In the Wizard of Oz I was so scared of the Wicked Witch of the West but in Wicked I loved her. In the Wizard of Oz the story was told from Dorothy’s perception, it made you see things how she did. In Wicked, the story was told from Elphaba’s perception, throughout the whole show you see her side of the story. The way these stories were told from the perception of different characters made it possible to equally fear the Wicked Witch in one story and love her in the other.
My fright of the Wicked Witch of the west in Wizard of Oz was equally matched by my love for her in Wicked. In both shows there was a different way of looking at things. This is what perception is all about. In all things in life people have a different perceptions of things. This explains why people make different choices. Understanding people’s perceptions can lead us to kindness and compassion. I want to always remember that people have different perceptions because kindness and compassion are the most important thing in life!
August 22, 2013
Loving Yourself Through Failure
This isn’t what I thought I would post today. I have been working on something else entirely. But, yesterday I wasn’t exactly living what I know…it was more like forgetting what I know. Then as I was writing that other post, a third option occurred to me…writing about what you know. I don’t want to just write about what I know here…I really want to live it and I know that is what the universe wants for me…it is the same impulse. I couldn’t post something that wasn’t truly in the energy I am in. The other post will have to wait until I am ready to live it more fully. That time will come soon enough. The blessing is that the words don’t really come unless you’re vibrating in that space (meaning, it’s not well written at all yet). I am grateful for that…it is a wonderful practice.
Yesterday, my personal best wasn’t so great. I was losing my patience, taking things personally, basically just living in a state of reaction instead of presence. All these little choices turned into a not so great day. I allowed all those choices to happen and created suffering for myself and for those around me. Basically, I let fear take over and thoroughly take me off track. I kind of stayed in the mode of feeling down and upset with myself for not choosing to live all that I know. I felt exhausted, scared and sad. I didn’t really resist it, it just took over and I let it.
I stumbled into an old present moment reminder midday from Eckhart Tolle TV that said:
‘Life isn’t as serious as my mind makes it out to be.’ Eckhart Tolle
I smiled. My heart let out a little sigh of relief and I began to heal. I didn’t really rush myself, I just turned towards love as I decided to love myself through my failure. I know that being hard on myself will help nothing (I have done that enough). I knew that the next day wouldn’t be like this one and I would learn from it. There was a lot of learning going on throughout the day. Our failures can show us so much if we are willing to look directly at them. As I nurtured my soul a bit and allowed myself to do whatever comforted me, I realized how lovely it feels to dwell in a place where you really do know that All IS WELL. Even if you have let illusions of fear creep in, they will pass. You can really feel that all is well even as you feel like you failed because all is well and it all happens just as it should.
This morning, I feel rejuvenated and ready to choose from stillness again. I chose the unfamiliar this morning as the kids and I ate breakfast outside and enjoyed all the sights and sounds of nature. We all experienced a fresh new look at the day and a renewed energy towards really living what we know. So, was it really failure after all if it takes you to a morning of watching your kids and yourself delight in dragonflies and hummingbirds? If it was failure, then perhaps a new way of looking at failure is in order.
Whether your failure is big or small…love yourself through it. It is there to show you something. Be kind to yourself in success and failure, for all that really matters is love.
August 18, 2013
Let Beauty Awaken Your Soul
“When our eyes are graced with wonder, the world reveals its wonders to us. There are people who see only dullness in the world and that is because their eyes have already been dulled. So much depends on how we look at things. The quality of our looking determines what we come to see.”
―John O’Donohue, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace
Beauty. What is it? Where does it come from? Why does it touch us so? What happens to us when we experience it?
When we experience true beauty, everything stops. We take it in. We experience the stillness that it came from. I believe that we remember where it came from and it feels like home to us. It awakens us from our daily life for a moment and takes us somewhere else. It moves us. It thrills us. It is love sent to remind us of who and what we are.
When we experience a beautiful song, a masterful dance performance, a great poem, a theatrical production, a scene in a movie, a sunset, a beautiful piece of artwork, even an amazing sports moment…anything that has true beauty, we are changed in that moment. Beauty can wake us up to more of life, it takes us out of the ordinary and out of our thinking mind — into our senses fully and it is a gift when it does. We stop thinking, we have no worries, we aren’t planning or distracted or bored…we are really there experiencing the beauty and relief in being taken to a more meaningful moment. We all have experienced those precious moments when we sit in awe of something so beautiful, we feel it deep inside. Remember it and you can feel it now.
That moment is always there for us. We must remember that stillness and invite it to visit more often. We can bring more beauty into out lives, we simply need to be open to seeing it. We need to add enough space to let it in. Beauty is all around us. It is everywhere, not just in the so-called works of art. There is magical beauty in the smallest of things everywhere. Everything was created in that stillness. The truest of beauty is in the lines on an elderly face, the wag of a dog’s tail, the way the sunlight hits the sink full of dirty dishes, laughter, smiles, eyes, the book in your hands, the sound of your child calling “Mom”, kindness in any form, the mess you made having fun…beauty is everywhere. We don’t have to wait for the sensational, we can see it everywhere. We can let it wake us up to more of Life.
Today, in many ways, beauty has been reduced to idealized notions of what society deems beautiful. It is actually rather frightening to see what is happening in the name of beauty. That is not what we are talking about here. We are talking about true works of Life. God is experiencing himself in so many ways and through that experiencing, comes beauty. We can bless our lives by looking with fresh eyes that are open to the beauty that surrounds us all the time. We can help others see the beauty too.
Let’s take the time to touch beauty in a more meaningful way today and see how it changes our experience of life. Let’s not wait for the big obvious moments, lets find it in the imperfection that is called Life.
Have fun seeing the beauty around you today, your soul knows how…today is the perfect day to spend more time with your soul. Your soul is pure beauty!
Below is my son’s favorite poem, Little Things by Julia A. F. Carney. The beauty in his five-year-old writing and the sweet joy he gets in reading this poem and knowing he is one of my favorite little things is simply stunning…to me, better than any masterpiece or work of nature I could ever encounter.
Wishing you lots of joy in the beauty found in little things today and always!
August 5, 2013
Freedom From Being Right…or Wrong
“The ego is the false self – born out of fear and defensiveness.”
– John O’Donohue, Anam Cara
There is no right and wrong, only different ways of looking at things. I am very interested in perception, I am sure it is a topic I will visit often here. I love to try to open my heart by seeing things from various perspectives. Anytime someone seems wrong, you can usually just try to see things from their perspective and then their actions make sense immediately. You can save yourself from a bunch of mind torture over judgmental thoughts and you can love the other instead of seeing them as wrong. Then you are reminded…there is no right or wrong, just different ways of looking at things. After doing this for a while, you really don’t have to shift your perception anymore, you find a way to just BE and quit judging whether things are right or wrong or good or bad all the time. A new freedom takes hold and it is magnificent! Its living with an open heart rather than a fixed way of looking at the world!
We are so very connected to each other. I know this is true and I believe that we all know it at the deepest part of our hearts. There are some universal laws in play with this truth that are just happening whether we are aware of it or not. How we treat others is exactly how we treat ourselves. Hopefully we can all sort of agree on that; when we’re ready, we can take the idea a bit farther. I am going to go ahead and mention one of the hardest things to truly learn that I have been working with over the past few years (and many more to come I am sure). Here goes – you can only see in others what you have in yourself. At first I thought this was a bit crazy and hard to accept…its hard to admit what we may have in us. I have been working with it for some time now and I can see the profound truth in it and just how much it can help us grow in unexpected and delightful ways. We truly can change the way we see the world as we change what we have in our minds and our hearts. It’s a nice bonus that as we make meaningful changes inside and align our personality with our soul a bit more, simultaneously we will see the world in a new way as well.
As we go about changing what we focus on inside and how we see the world outside us, one thing that can help a lot is practicing freedom from being right. This practice alone can help to change how you relate to your ego. True growth and change requires ego work on many levels. Finding little ways to live from love rather than our ego can lead from being imprisoned by a life lived from the ego’s perspective to a life lived with an open heart. The joy of life doesn’t come from the ego, it comes from being One with Life. There are many ways to learn about your ego and to turn away from it to make choices from stillness instead. One thing you don’t want to do is attempt eradicating the ego, focusing on it will only allow it to grow. We want to find little ways to turn towards stillness thus chipping away at the ego bit by bit. Lets begin with simply giving up being right and see what we may gain from this practice.
What we may gain by giving up being right:
- Better listening skills – if you are always concerned with being right, you cannot hear what others are saying. If you think you’re right and they’re wrong, as soon as they speak, you will be thinking of what you will say next…not listening. It is impossible to really be with someone if you cannot listen to them. We would gain a lot more connectedness and enjoy people more with better listening.
- Openness to other points of view – we may be surprised to see how good it feels to be open to ideas and unfamiliar things…it is really where the pulse of life is happening…the exciting stuff…Oneness with Life.
- Freedom from defensiveness – if we don’t have to be right then we will be okay with others thinking we’re wrong. What a relief that can be. If we don’t have to worry so much what others think…then we begin to tap into true freedom.
- Energy – it is exhausting to be right. There is so much convincing to do and proof to gather. You have to waste so many words and so much energy trying to change someone else’s point of view. Imagine if you spent that energy just being open and listening…you would have boundless energy to spend on something more productive and creative.
- Freedom from gossip and other toxic activities – gossip is all about what others are doing wrong and how we know what is better or right. The whole “can you believe he/she did that?” – if we weren’t busy figuring out who was right and wrong and judging everything we wouldn’t ever find ourselves in those types of conversations. If we didn’t need to convince others that we had been wronged, we wouldn’t have to talk about other people to hear how right we are. We would come from a place of knowing better than talking about others choices. We would have more room in our hearts to send love to people without judging them.
- A clearer mind – if you can free your mind from all the thoughts it has about being right and making others wrong, you would open the doors to a lot of stillness and beauty in life. You would see things more clearly and experience life in a new way – from stillness.
- Meet more open and loving people – how we treat others is how we treat ourselves. If we are someone who likes to be right, then we will find ourself making others wrong. Because we are all so connected, it is just like making yourself wrong. It will come back around to us…for sure. People don’t enjoy being around people making others wrong, it hurts us all. If we can clean this up and see the best in people, people will see the best in is us and we will encounter miraculous relationships with open and loving people.
- Courage – anything would be possible without the fear of being wrong, we could re-direct all that energy to doing what we are meant to be doing.
- Peace – seeing the good in others and treating others and ourselves with kindness can bring nothing but more peace into our life…what is better than that?!
What we may lose by giving up being right:
- A bigger stronger ego – the ego loves loves loves to be right and make others wrong. Every time it does so, it grows a bit and gets a stronger hold on its own identity. It gets more of the mind activity attention and gets us to turn from love and towards a stronger ego.
Wishing us all a loving and open heart as we go about our days without being right. Wishing you no “should-ing” on anyone and in return no one “should-ing” on you. May you be comfortable with the not-knowing in life. Be kind to yourself as you practice – as thoughts pop into your head ready to make right or wrong, remember, it’s just a thought and you don’t have to identify with it, just let it pass and turn towards love instead. Lets make the world a little kinder! Sending you love!
Live What You Know 