Live What You Know

Waking up is more than it seems. You KNOW more than you've ever been "taught"! You chose to be here now. Make yourTRUEself proud!

Tag: compassion

October 15, 2013

Perseverance…Just Keep Going…

It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.  ~Albert Einstein

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.  ~Buddhist Saying

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer. ~André A. Jackson

At our house, we love Super Soul Sunday on Own, it is a spiritual practice for us.  We quit watching TV several years ago and made an exception for this wonderful program…it has proven to be a great choice.  It is a lovely way to see God in a variety of forms and ideas…a beautiful tribute to the Universal Oneness we can all benefit from understanding.  We get excited for new episodes.  Recently we watched endurance swimmer Diana Nyad talk about her life, her journey, her beliefs, her determination, her recent swim from Cuba to Florida and more.  She shared a piece of herself with Oprah and her audience in a very moving way.  Oprah enjoyed it so much that she made it a two-part episode that continued this past Sunday.  I must admit that when I first saw the topic the week prior to it airing, I wasn’t as excited as usual…I just didn’t feel connected to it and it didn’t seem like I would relate to it so much.  Well, I was wrong.  Very wrong.  It was relatable to me in a deep way.

I had seen the headlines of Diana’s swim from Cuba to Florida and never really bothered to read the story or details of it.  Now I know the story and I am a better person for having heard it and a grateful person for having heard it straight from her.  Long long story really short – she swam 110 miles in 53 hours straight at age 64 on her fourth attempt.  After hearing all the specifics of the challenges of swimming in the ocean (like jellyfish stings) and trying to wrap my mind around doing anything for 53 hours straight (even lying on my bed), the whole idea just seemed a bit crazy and kind of like a strange dream to chase for a lifetime.  That feeling didn’t last long.

Diana has an intense personality.  She is a force.  You can feel her when she talks and in my experience, something deep inside me connected to that spirit that showed so clearly in her.  It really is hard to put into words, but I felt it big time.  I was riveted and deeply moved.  My whole family was.  There is something beautiful about people who are trying to be the best version of themselves and willing to work really really hard to do it.

Afterwards, my eight-year-old daughter and I were talking about her dream and her perseverance.  We were walking through the house gathering laundry as we casually discussed what it meant to us.  We were talking about the swimming part of it and all she encountered, it seemed really really scary to my daughter.  I tried to explain that you take that example of perseverance and you put it in a form that relates to your life.  Without thinking of it, I blurted out what my Cuba/Florida swim equivalent is.  I explained that for me, what I am the most passionate and feel the most drawn towards and consider to be the most important thing in my existence is living in consciousness as a permanent state.  That is, transcending egoic states of mind and truly existing deeply in the present moment.  This may sound strange to some people but this is my truth.  Living in this way is the most important thing and will transcend and bring harmony to life and relationships all around me.

I have been on this journey of trying to live what I know for quite some time.  I fall down all the time.  I react.  I take things personally.  I resist what already is.  I fall below thought and just check-out with mind numbing distractions of various sorts, knowing this doesn’t bring real joy.  I always get back up and keep going.  I can admit that I failed and I don’t have to be mean to myself about it.  I can apologize to those I may have hurt or annoyed and tell them I know I can do better and I am not those choices.  Learning to be kind to yourself in your failure is a gift.  Still learning to receive that gift.  Getting better.

It is strange that watching a swimmer with a completely different type of dream and experience could connect to me so deeply.  I know why it did — It is the same story we all have.  I am grateful to Diana to have shared her story in a way that allows me to be able to consider those 53 hours and what it took to keep going.  I will think of it often as I keep going.  Many times this week, I caught myself right before I may have fallen into an old reaction or thought pattern and I felt deeply that now was the moment to choose to live all that I know.  I was able to sit in whatever was causing discomfort and not let it become me.  I could observe and stay true to who I am and what kind of person I want to be.  In life there are countless opportunities to continue to make that choice.  I am that choice, not the other things that sometimes interfere with my deeper self.  Maybe someday soon  I can live 53 hours straight without any thought chatter or egoic reasoning or reacting…just simply BEING.  The only time to do it is now.  I AM that choice.

Find a way.  ~Diana Nyad

There is an evolutionary impulse that wants to assist us in our growth and towards what we are meant to do.  It takes a lot of stillness and spaciousness to access that place that can guide us.  It doesn’t have to be difficult to persevere.  It can seem incredibly hard when we fall away from the impulse of the flow of life, but the flow is always waiting for us to return to it.  We can choose it at any moment.  It is true that we aren’t really headed to a destination…it is the journey and it is full of millions of opportunities to continue to persevere.

Wishing us all the space to embrace perseverance towards whatever we may feel drawn to.  Sending love!

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October 6, 2013

From Status Quo To Status No

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.  –Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have a little saying I love to say to myself and to my friends…or anyone who will listen really.  I say, “Don’t should on anyone and don’t let anyone should on you.”  If someone is discussing another’s choice and wants me to agree with their point-of-view or comment in some way, I like to say, “I don’t like to should on anyone and I don’t enjoy others should-ing on me.”

Sometimes it feels like there is an awful lot of “should-ing” in the air.  It all makes judging others and comparing ourselves so easy.  The technical term for what it brings is what we call “yuckie energy” around our house.  Truly, if you are judging yourself or others or just commenting on what someone should be doing or running dialogue in your mind that tells you that you “should” be doing something, it feels yuckie and it spreads.

Over four years ago, we made the choice to switch to a vegan diet and remove all animal products from our plates.  It was scary and strange and brought about all kinds of expected and unexpected results.  As I look at my life since making this choice, I notice that it was the first time I really chose to go against the status quo and make a big life change that would make some people uncomfortable.  My reasons for a vegan diet are many.  It started with a choice to read a book called The China Study.  From that one choice, many followed.  I kept researching and trying to figure out what made sense to me and what I wanted for my family, etc.  I read and read and read and the reasons mounted.  We jumped and went completely vegan overnight.  I am so grateful!

Obviously this had a major impact on us in the nutrition department and our health and how we live, etc.  What I can now see is that this choice to figure things out for myself and make the best choice for me and my family without worrying or being influenced by what those around me will think (okay, I did worry some at the beginning) changed our lives in many more unexpected areas as well.  This change allowed us to embrace that practice in many more areas of life.  I think this first jump into trying something so completely different from the way we used to live opened us up to life more and made it possible to make other important choices for our lives.  We began making huge steps toward charting our own course.

Clearly, we’re not the first vegans and we are super fortunate to make this choice at a time when it is so easy and becoming much less out of the norm.  Even in the years since we started, it has changed a lot (or maybe we did).  We think its normal now.  Ah, normal.

We have gone on to making many more choices that don’t fit the status quo.  We chose to homeschool/unschool our children a few years ago and that one made vegan seem simple.  Except, now that seems normal too.  In the beginning, it seemed like explaining these choices when someone asked was important and worth the time.  I would be sure to give the most eloquent, educated sounding explanation I could muster.  Now, it’s just normal to me.  I really don’t need to go into these choices much, except to say that we’re happy and it works for us.  If people are sincerely interested or curious I love discussing all the details of both issues, but I don’t feel the need to make them interested or try to convince them of my point-of-view.  It feels nice now.  It feels like being comfortable in your own skin.

I love researching things, implementing new lifestyle choices, trying new things, basking in the unfamiliar…I love taking bits and pieces from all I see around me and creating my own world with my own design…some borrowed, some new, some tweaked.  In the beginning of my newfound willingness to make big choices with big change, it felt like people thought I was judging their choice by sharing my own.  I don’t really notice that feeling anymore.  I may have felt it because I was judging on some level…it is nice to see that slip away.  I remember just not wanting people to judge me.  At this point, I don’t really notice any wasted energy going into worrying about what others think.  I’m just being me.  It feels great…not always a walk in the park of course, but it feels like home.

I love my choices and I love everyone else’s choices too.  I love sharing why I made mine if people are interested, but I no longer think mine are better.  I do like to encourage people to find their own way…but I won’t tell them they “should” do that.  I just like to share that it feels free and wonderful!  When I was a little girl, I was afraid of everything!  Truly!  Even butterflies!  That seems so long ago.  I am grateful for learning to listen to all the messages that come our way to take us from fear to love and open us up to becoming more of ourselves.  Now, the thought of following along and doing things because I “should” is the only thing that sounds really frightening to me and butterflies aren’t scary anymore…they are a magical message about change!

Important note – I am super grateful to those people who feel strongly about sharing the reasons for their choices and helping others make the same ones.  We all hear messages in different ways and those using their voices to bring change are an important part of how we all learn and grow.  I am grateful to those that follow the message to speak loudly about certain things!!!  Someday I may speak loudly about my choices, but for now, it seems my soul is telling me to quiet down and BE a bit more.  Still happy to share, just in a quiet and open to life way.  Actually, quiet is much more challenging for me…so it must be what I am meant to work on at this point in life.

Sending you love and wishing you the courage to chart your own path and listen to your soul…not in a “should-ing” way…just a loving way.

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October 1, 2013

The Wisdom, Kindness and Courage To Celebrate The Joy and Success of Others

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter.
As you see him you will see yourself.
As you treat him you will treat yourself.
As you think of him you will think of yourself.
Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself
or lose yourself.
–A Course In Miracles

As I learn and grow I marvel at just how connected we are to each other.  It really is amazing and awe-inspiring to try to grasp just what truly connects us and to what extent we are connected.

This week I have been feeling so very grateful for that fact and at the same time a bit sad from the longing it creates in my soul.  As you realize this truth and try to go about your business in this world it can sometimes feel difficult to function in environments that just don’t seem to understand what we’re looking at when we see each other and what is happening when we judge or compete with each other.  It can feel so brutal to see the many ways we create the illusion of separation.

I no longer feel sadness for me when I know someone doesn’t want to hear good news or share in my joy, I feel sad for them and I long to reach them and show them the beauty of celebrating each other.  I want to help people connect to the world around them and everything in it in a more meaningful way.  I think this desire came naturally from wanting to connect to it more myself.  You figure out that you cannot walk that path alone…we must go together.  How we choose to see, think of, feel about and treat each other is how we choose to live and how we choose to be with ourselves.

I know the answer is always love and I must give to the world that which I feel it is lacking.  I want to celebrate everyone and truly care about their joy and well-being.  I know deeply that I share in any success or joy anyone may experience.  I will choose to see the good that is in all of us and to be the space for others that allows them to feel it and see it in themselves too.  I will choose not to recognize what judging or competing looks like, I will simply be the space that welcomes joy and love and comforts others.  I will see the connection we have even when others can’t see it…maybe my seeing it will help them see it too.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
–Henry David Thoreau

Having this space to connect with followers, visitors and fellow bloggers comforts me so much and helps with the longing of my soul to feel the connection we all share.  For that, I thank each and every one of you so very much!  I am truly grateful!

Wishing us all the wisdom, kindness and courage to celebrate the joy and success of others today and always!  I pray I may live what I know today!  Sending you love!

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September 24, 2013

Nurturing The Souls Around You…Including Your Own

Daisies
by Bliss Carman (1861-1929)

Over the shoulders and slopes of the dune
I saw the white daisies go down to the sea,
A host in the sunshine, an army in June,
The people God sends us to set our heart free.

The bobolinks rallied them up from the dell,
The orioles whistled them out of the wood;
And all of their singing was, “Earth, it is well!”
And all of their dancing was, “Life, thou art good!”

These days I know the importance of understanding that our peace comes from within.  We cannot depend on what is going on around us to bring us the peace, love and connection to life that we seek.  We must find it within.  Having said that, I am learning that even though it is up to us to find it within, it is still important to acknowledge and understand how the souls around us are there participating in our soul journey as well.  There is a oneness that is happening around us.  We each have our individual soul and that individual soul is also part of the one soul.  We have so much power within and we also connect to the souls around us at the same time.

The people around us are there for a reason.  Those closest to us that are sharing their lives with us and that we have chosen to share our lives with are there to be cherished.  With how busy our lives have become and how many things we have coming at us at once, it is important to remember to make soul care a priority.  It is so healing to shift the focus to really building each other up and nurturing our souls.  When we nurture the souls of our loved ones, we nurture our own.  Sometimes it takes a shift.  Life is busy and routines can set in.  Taking the time to really show our loved ones how much we value them is good for them and good for us at the same time.

Sometimes, being a good spiritual partner means letting the other person work things out and grow through things on their own.  Sometimes, being a good spiritual partner means being that soft comforting place and providing extra love and attention.  Always, being a true spiritual partner means balancing the two.  And, of course, love is always the answer.

Love those around you a little bit extra today and always.  Let them love you back a little bit extra…even as you grow.  Ask for what you need and give what you most want.

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September 13, 2013

Smile!

smileWishing  you a wonderful weekend full of smiles!

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August 27, 2013

Seeing The Unfamiliar In The MOST Familiar Things

It is a shame how familiar we become with so much of our lives.  It would seem that we would find comfort in the familiar…that is not the case.  We completely check out and become numb to what is happening around us.  We can’t see the people or places around us that have become too familiar, we see it all through a veil of our past observations, images and experiences.  With the MOST familiar people and places in our lives it can do the most damage.  We can be completely missing what is right in front of us…the very thing we love the most, we sometimes give our attention to the least.  Learning about this concept from John O’Donohue in Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom was a gift in my life.  The gift of seeing the unfamiliar in the most familiar things can wake us up to life.  Life takes on a whole new energy when you can really do this.  I have had experiences where I felt as if I snapped into attention and really saw my child’s face for the first time in too long.  Children’s ability to notice this right away is really something to behold.  I cherish those moments when I was really looking at them with unfamiliar eyes.  I have also been thrilled to look at my husband and see him as if we were just getting to know each other; it’s so fun to experience the excitement of the early dating days…it just takes a little shift in attention.  It takes practice to dwell in this for any length of time, but it is so worth trying to improve at it…life changing when we can do it.

Seeing the unfamiliar in the most familiar things doesn’t mean trying something new to wake you up.  It is quite the opposite.  It means really watching where you put your attention and what conditioned responses are running in your head.  It takes watching your thoughts and not identifying with them.  It takes letting those thoughts pass by so that you can create new and fresh ones that are found in the unfamiliar or the fresh moment.  The truth is that no one is ever exactly the same as the last time you met them.  I know for sure I am not.  Sometimes I could just cringe at running into someone I knew well ten years or so ago…I think, oh my gosh they know me from two lifetimes ago… Even when we see people once a week, they are never the exact same person they were the last time you saw them.  Allow this freshness to be there and try to see them fresh in the moment.  With our MOST familiar people and places it takes the most heightened focus, but what it can do for those relationships and experiences is miraculous.  Seeing only the familiar takes all the excitement out of life.  Dare to see those closest and most familiar to you in new and unfamiliar ways.

I realized with my own children recently that I am the MOST familiar thing in their lives.  I am the thing they have been the most familiar with for the entirety of their lives.  I used to wonder why they would say and do things to me that they would never dream of doing to someone else.  I struggled with why they save their exquisite manners and politeness for everyone else.  It finally dawned on me that I am the MOST familiar thing to them and they are also the MOST familiar thing to me.  We could spend our entire day responding to our ideas and images of each other rather than actually seeing and experiencing each other fresh in the unfamiliar.  I want to really stop and listen to them and see the new expressions that cross their faces and the new things they are excited about.  Just because I am so very familiar with them and so involved in everything they do doesn’t mean I am really seeing the unfamiliar and allowing myself to look at them with fresh eyes to spot new changes and truly hear what is important to them.  It is something I have to practice, especially if I want them to do that for me.  It is a terrible feeling as a mom to feel like you repeat yourself a million times and no one is listening.  Argh.  I think I have stumbled into a great truth.  If I want them to look at me with fresh eyes and see me, then I must do that for them.  This is true for the MOST familiar people and places as well as everyone and everything else too.

Wishing you the profound joy and fresh aliveness that comes with experiencing the unfamiliar in the MOST familiar things.

Below is one of my favorite passages from Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom, by John O’Donohue.  What a gift!

Behind the facade of our normal lives eternal destiny is shaping our days and our ways.  The awakening of the human spirit is a homecoming.  Yet ironically our sense of familiarity often militates against our homecoming.  When we are familiar with something, we lose the energy, edge, and excitement of it.  Hegel said, “Das Bekannte uberhaupt ist darum, weil es bekannt ist, nicht erkannt”– that is, “Generally, the familiar, precisely because it is familiar, is not known.”  This is a powerful sentence.  Behind the facade of the familiar, strange things await us.  This is true of our homes, the place where we live, and, indeed, of those with whom we live.  Friendships and relationships suffer immense numbing through the mechanism of familiarization.  We reduce the wildness and mystery of person and landscape to the external, familiar image.  Yet the familiar is merely a facade.  Familiarity enables us to tame, control, and ultimately forget the mystery.  We make our peace with the surface as image and we stay away from the Otherness and fecund turbulence of the unknown that it masks.  Familiarity is one of the most subtle and pervasive forms of human alienation.

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August 25, 2013

The Universe Went To A Lot of Trouble To Create This Exact Moment For You…Come To The Party

The Universe (God, Life, Love, All, Everything…) went to a lot of trouble to create this exact moment that you are experiencing.  It has been arranging millions of things and designing perfection for you.  It has then invited you to come.  That is the case in every moment.  Always.  Each moment is perfectly created for exactly the right circumstances for you and the evolution of your soul.  All we need to do is simply be there in the moment fully to experience the perfection we are meant to have.  Unfortunately, we often skip the moment entirely by bringing past issues or experiences and future worries or stress with us in our minds that keeps us preoccupied and unable to BE where we are at fully.  The moment that the Universe worked so hard for us to have is completely lost on us, we just can’t feel it.  We are more blessed and loved than we can imagine because the Universe (God) loves us so much that at the very  moment we miss yet another of its precious gifts it had picked out for us, it is already working hard to create another one to invite us to that is just as perfect.  It lines up infinite details to create divine experiences for us and no matter how many moments we miss, it continues to invite us to the next one.  Continuous understanding, compassion and invitations.  Amazing!

Imagine if a loved one had decided to throw you a special party…they organized every last detail to make it the best celebration of your lifetime and you just didn’t show up.  You just never went.  When we live with constant distractions, mind chatter and stress, we just aren’t showing up at the party the Universe has planned for us.  Lucky for us, the Universe will go on planning, arranging and coordinating the perfect experience for us…but, our soul longs to skip the detours and delays.  It will all work out just as it should, but perhaps by understanding what we are missing we can truly focus on figuring out how we can show up at the party now.  Let’s do everything we can to go to the party the Universe has planned for us…the joy.

Wishing you joy today and always!  I know you can get to the party and feel the joy; my faith in you helps me feel I can dwell in the joy more often myself.  Let’s Live It!  We have people to meet, things to see, stories to hear, love to create, adventures to encounter…the joy is always waiting for us.

 

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August 23, 2013

Perception – Lessons For Children of All Ages

Perception is a wonderful lesson for children of all ages.  It is so helpful to teach them to step back and consider different points of view.  We want to raise kind compassionate children and teaching them the skill of looking from various perspectives is a great way to start.  My daughter and I first began talking more deeply (past simple sharing) about perception in preschool when she was dealing with what seemed to her like a mean little girl.  We discussed the other possible options or reasons why it may seem like she is being “mean” and tried embrace other scenarios, etc.  We tried to put ourselves in her shoes and see things from her eyes.  It helped.  In the end, they became friends.  These conversations continued throughout the years.  It also helped me teach her to try not to take things personally and to always look for the good in others because it is always there.

Perception can open up so many things in life and you can take the lessons as far as you are willing to open up your mind.  You can start with simply seeing things from another view-point and take it all the way to the ultimate illusions in life that we all experience.  Ultimately, perception can lead you to constant peace.  For children, just introducing and discussing the concept can free them from a lot of heartache that would stem from judging others and insisting they are right, etc.  Some of these concepts may go over their head at first, but not for long.  I figure it’s like songs written in consciousness, at first they just seem like catchy tunes and then as you change over time you hear the profound wisdom within and it’s like being hit over the head (I remember singing Imagine along with the radio one day and finally hearing the words I had memorized long before, I had to pull my car over I was so awestruck and thrilled to finally understand what was being said).  I figure someday they will have a moment where it clicks and they will say, “Wow, that is what my parents were talking about.”  Sometimes they surprise me and say something so profound I am sure they remember where they came from.  I often wish I was as present as my son, so I am sure we are learning from each other.

My daughter and I have continued these conversations about perception over the years to help her embrace her compassion and willingness to see things from various points of view.  We are a homeschooling family so we can spend a lot of time on subjects that interest us, it’s just one of the many perks.  We have a lovely assignment we would like to share.  This year we saw Wicked at the theatre and knew immediately we could make a great perception assignment out of it.  My daughter already knew Wizard of Oz very well, she had seen the movie several times and played Oz in her children’s theatre production.  Once we saw Wicked, it opened up an entirely different viewpoint of the story.  We loved it and we spent a lot of time on her related essay about perception.  Her essay is below.  She was seven years old when she wrote it.  We spent a lot of time having editing meetings and getting to this final draft.  Another home school perk we enjoy is learning through editing and editing until we get to her personal best version.  From a seven-year old point of view, it is just precious.  It is a great lesson for us all.

Please enjoy the essay below on perception from my kind and compassionate daughter.  I had to include this adorable title sheet she created.

Perception

Perception

            People see situations in different ways.  Perception means how you see things.  This paper is all about how you look at things.  The Wizard of Oz and Wicked are great examples of ways we can perceive things differently.  My fright of the Wicked Witch of the West in Wizard of Oz was equally matched by my love for her in Wicked.

The Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz was so scary.  The Munchkins were terrified of her. They were so scared that every time the Wicked Witch came they would hide from her.  She always had this funny and terrifying laugh.  Whenever she saw Dorothy she would say, “I’ll get you my pretty,” and then laugh afterwards.  The Wicked Witch wanted to kill Dorothy and her friends Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man.  She really wanted the ruby slippers badly and she would do anything to get them.  She was completely terrifying and I felt so relieved when Dorothy melted her!

In Wicked, the Wicked Witch of the West was loveable!  Her name was really Elphaba.  She was born green and everyone was mean to her.  She was smart.  She took good care of her crippled sister Nessa.  She wanted to help the animals.  She tried to do good things but they did not go well for her.  She was totally tricked by the Wizard of Oz and everyone thought she was bad even though she was good.  She just wanted those ruby slippers to remember her sister.

In the Wizard of Oz I was so scared of the Wicked Witch of the West but in Wicked I loved her.  In the Wizard of Oz the story was told from Dorothy’s perception, it made you see things how she did.  In Wicked, the story was told from Elphaba’s perception, throughout the whole show you see her side of the story.  The way these stories were told from the perception of different characters made it possible to equally fear the Wicked Witch in one story and love her in the other.

My fright of the Wicked Witch of the west in Wizard of Oz was equally matched by my love for her in Wicked.  In both shows there was a different way of looking at things.  This is what perception is all about.  In all things in life people have a different perceptions of things.  This explains why people make different choices.  Understanding people’s perceptions can lead us to kindness and compassion.  I want to always remember that people have different perceptions because kindness and compassion are the most important thing in life!

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August 22, 2013

Loving Yourself Through Failure

This isn’t what I thought I would post today.  I have been working on something else entirely.  But, yesterday I wasn’t exactly living what I know…it was more like forgetting what I know.  Then as I was writing that other post, a third option occurred to me…writing about what you know.  I don’t want to just write about what I know here…I really want to live it and I know that is what the universe wants for me…it is the same impulse.  I couldn’t post something that wasn’t truly in the energy I am in.  The other post will have to wait until I am ready to live it more fully.  That time will come soon enough.  The blessing is that the words don’t really come unless you’re vibrating in that space (meaning, it’s not well written at all yet).  I am grateful for that…it is a wonderful practice.

Yesterday, my personal best wasn’t so great.  I was losing my patience, taking things personally, basically just living in a state of reaction instead of presence.  All these little choices turned into a not so great day.  I allowed all those choices to happen and created suffering for myself and for those around me.  Basically, I let fear take over and thoroughly take me off track.  I kind of stayed in the mode of feeling down and upset with myself for not choosing to live all that I know.  I felt exhausted, scared and sad.  I didn’t really resist it, it just took over and I let it.

I stumbled into an old present moment reminder midday from Eckhart Tolle TV that said:

‘Life isn’t as serious as my mind makes it out to be.’ Eckhart Tolle

I smiled.  My heart let out a little sigh of relief and I began to heal.  I didn’t really rush myself, I just turned towards love as I decided to love myself through my failure.  I know that being hard on myself will help nothing (I have done that enough).  I knew that the next day wouldn’t be like this one and I would learn from it.  There was a lot of learning going on throughout the day.  Our failures can show us so much if we are willing to look directly at them.  As I nurtured my soul a bit and allowed myself to do whatever comforted me, I realized how lovely it feels to dwell in a place where you really do know that All IS WELL.  Even if you have let illusions of fear creep in, they will pass.  You can really feel that all is well even as you feel like you failed because all is well and it all happens just as it should.

This morning, I feel rejuvenated and ready to choose from stillness again.  I chose the unfamiliar this morning as the kids and I ate breakfast outside and enjoyed all the sights and sounds of nature.  We all experienced a fresh new look at the day and a renewed energy towards really living what we know.  So, was it really failure after all if it takes you to a morning of watching your kids and yourself delight in dragonflies and hummingbirds?  If it was failure, then perhaps a new way of looking at failure is in order.

Whether your failure is big or small…love yourself through it.  It is there to show you something.  Be kind to yourself in success and failure, for all that really matters is love.

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August 15, 2013

Spread Love Today…Everything Else is Fear

“The human emotional system can be broken down into roughly two elements:
fear and love.
Love is of the soul.
Fear is of the personality.”
~ Gary Zukav – from “Seat Of The Soul” ~

I distinctly remember the moment I learned that hate is fear.  It’s intriguing.  Even if we have never felt hatred, we have all seen it in its various forms.  It’s just fear?  Yep.  And then you go on to figure out that all those other behaviors and emotions that go along with anger, resentment, jealousy, sorrow, spite, judgment, arrogance, even loneliness (it’s a long list)…they all come from fear.  Once you connect those dots, it’s no longer just intriguing, it changes everything.

First and foremost, when you begin to see what is behind all of those terrible behaviors that come from fear based emotions, you can open your heart with forgiveness immediately to almost anything (truly anything as we get better and better at it…it takes practice).  When I deal with these less desirable attitudes and behaviors in people or just things you see around you that stem from them, right before I judge it or react to it, I do my best to remember what it really is.  I get a helpful little visual to remind me of what it really is…I picture a scared little child running to its mom for help.  Maybe it’s the mom in me, but I think of how awful it feels to be scared and how children instinctively run for mom when something frightens or hurts them.  Fear creates all kinds of toxic reactions when really the person just wants to be comforted by love.  Next time you are faced with toxic behaviors, remember that person just needs some love.  They are having a moment in fear…your love could bring them right out and you have plenty to spare…the more you give, the more you have to give.  You will know best how you spread love.  You don’t have to tell them you’re providing love for their fear (in fact, don’t do that, they don’t know it’s fear), you can give love simply by not judging them, by being a calm pure loving presence.

Practicing forgiveness in this way changes you and opens your heart.  Next place to practice it is with yourself.  Forgive yourself for your fear based emotions, attitudes and behaviors.  When we realize that all that stuff we sometimes think or feel, and even our actions that we are not proud of,  all just came out of fear…we can love the scared little child in us too.  Give yourself some love and move on.

Creating space around our choices and actions will allow us to practice spreading love and forgiving everything else.  When you put a breath or just a moment of stillness around your choices, you can choose love.  You can picture yourself standing in the middle and you can decide if you want to turn towards love or towards fear.  In every single thing you do, you can choose love or fear.  Even the thoughts you think, do you want them to be love-based or fear-based?  You can even choose the thoughts.

Another term for fear that I loved learning about is powerlessness.  Whenever you choose fear instead of love, you have chosen powerlessness and given your power away.  Your soul wants to live in love and knows that it is the most powerful force in the universe.  Your ego chooses fear and creates suffering for you and others.

There is no need to explain the behaviors and emotions that come from love, we all have a deep knowing and connectedness with those…they just feel good…your heart delights in them and your soul remembers them well.  Today, and always, let’s spread LOVE and forgive fear EVERYWHERE!  Have fun experimenting with how you spread love!

I am sending YOU so much love!

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