“The human emotional system can be broken down into roughly two elements:
fear and love.
Love is of the soul.
Fear is of the personality.”
~ Gary Zukav – from “Seat Of The Soul” ~
I distinctly remember the moment I learned that hate is fear. It’s intriguing. Even if we have never felt hatred, we have all seen it in its various forms. It’s just fear? Yep. And then you go on to figure out that all those other behaviors and emotions that go along with anger, resentment, jealousy, sorrow, spite, judgment, arrogance, even loneliness (it’s a long list)…they all come from fear. Once you connect those dots, it’s no longer just intriguing, it changes everything.
First and foremost, when you begin to see what is behind all of those terrible behaviors that come from fear based emotions, you can open your heart with forgiveness immediately to almost anything (truly anything as we get better and better at it…it takes practice). When I deal with these less desirable attitudes and behaviors in people or just things you see around you that stem from them, right before I judge it or react to it, I do my best to remember what it really is. I get a helpful little visual to remind me of what it really is…I picture a scared little child running to its mom for help. Maybe it’s the mom in me, but I think of how awful it feels to be scared and how children instinctively run for mom when something frightens or hurts them. Fear creates all kinds of toxic reactions when really the person just wants to be comforted by love. Next time you are faced with toxic behaviors, remember that person just needs some love. They are having a moment in fear…your love could bring them right out and you have plenty to spare…the more you give, the more you have to give. You will know best how you spread love. You don’t have to tell them you’re providing love for their fear (in fact, don’t do that, they don’t know it’s fear), you can give love simply by not judging them, by being a calm pure loving presence.
Practicing forgiveness in this way changes you and opens your heart. Next place to practice it is with yourself. Forgive yourself for your fear based emotions, attitudes and behaviors. When we realize that all that stuff we sometimes think or feel, and even our actions that we are not proud of, all just came out of fear…we can love the scared little child in us too. Give yourself some love and move on.
Creating space around our choices and actions will allow us to practice spreading love and forgiving everything else. When you put a breath or just a moment of stillness around your choices, you can choose love. You can picture yourself standing in the middle and you can decide if you want to turn towards love or towards fear. In every single thing you do, you can choose love or fear. Even the thoughts you think, do you want them to be love-based or fear-based? You can even choose the thoughts.
Another term for fear that I loved learning about is powerlessness. Whenever you choose fear instead of love, you have chosen powerlessness and given your power away. Your soul wants to live in love and knows that it is the most powerful force in the universe. Your ego chooses fear and creates suffering for you and others.
There is no need to explain the behaviors and emotions that come from love, we all have a deep knowing and connectedness with those…they just feel good…your heart delights in them and your soul remembers them well. Today, and always, let’s spread LOVE and forgive fear EVERYWHERE! Have fun experimenting with how you spread love!
I am sending YOU so much love!